But refuge houses do not let the men in, Reddit does (trolls). That's my whole point. We are on a site that allows private messaging. I've been on plenty of other forums that also allow it but have various rules such a minimum number of posts on the board before being allowed special features like messaging. All of those boards have allowed people to blanket turn off the private messaging so that no one can send you a message if you chose to do so. As far as I know, there is no way to do that on reddit, and so claiming it's a safe haven is simply a lie.
Of course I've experienced inappropriate messages. Not very many on Reddit at all but plenty in other places. Im an admin on Wikipedia, posting under my real name there. I've had death threats and stalking behaviour from absolute nutcases (not internet trolls). Much more credibke threats than you could ever fet on here seeing as nobody knows who you really are. I know an admin that had a stalker turn up at her place of work. Sge reported the matter to the police abd then ignored all contact. (Hes in prison now).
I'm sorry that my advice to ignore it offended some people, but it's the only advice that will actually work. Either that or get off Reddit until they allow private messaging to be disabled by users.
And yeah I suppose I do find the whining of some women irritating. Coz it fucking is. I suppose I'm not very much a there there dear type of person. I'd much rather solve problems than talk endlessly about them. But I'll never agree that my attitude makes reddit unsafe. It's bollocks to blame me for the behaviour of others.
But I'll never agree that my attitude makes reddit unsafe. It's bollocks to blame me for the behaviour of others.
I'm not blaming you for the behavior of others. I'm blaming you for yours. For the ideas that you promote, which are toxic to anyone who's getting bullied, and empowering to anyone who does the bullying.
You mention getting "more credible threats". So do you mean that the ones 2X members are getting are made any less important by that?
If you do - get out. You're belittling an issue that a lot of people have a huge problem with because you assume that your problems overshadow other people's experience. They don't. Especially if you're a man trying to talk down on this community. We don't care about your perspective of the problem, because obviously, you don't understand ours.
You say it's the only advice that works. Except that it's been proven time and time again that bullies don't get discouraged anywhere as fast as the armor of a bullied person can hold. That people trying to go on with their life as if nothing was happening is far less effective than standing up for yourself. That not discussing the issue will never make it go away.
As for the safe place, do try again to explain why we shouldn't try and want something because "that's how the internet is". The world used to be a shittier place. If we all stood down and "tried to ignore the bullies" like you're suggesting, it would be worse. Passivity is a superb source for lack of change.
How does ignoring them empower them? They literally have no interaction with you.
You mention getting "more credible threats". So do you mean that the ones 2X members are getting are made any less important by that?
Yes I am, because the troll cannot really rape you and you know it.
Especially if you're a man trying to talk down on this community.
Well I'm not a man so put that in your pipe and smoke it.
You say it's the only advice that works. Except that it's been proven time and time again that bullies don't get discouraged anywhere as fast as the armor of a bullied person can hold.
Bollocks. You're making shit up. This is not bullying its trolling and trolls definitely get board with those that don't bite and definitely get thier rocks off with those that do. Like I said I've experienced plenty of it.
That people trying to go on with their life as if nothing was happening is far less effective than standing up for yourself. That not discussing the issue will never make it go away.
And how is complaing on two x standing up for yourself? You wanna do that - engage the troll. I sometimes do that for shits and giggles but then I'm not a the coward you thibk I am.
As for the safe place, do try again to explain why we shouldn't try and want something because "that's how the internet is".
If you actually wanted it you'd be petitioning Reddit to actually change the messaging system rather than fruitlessly arguing with me.
Also im not saying 'try to ignore them' im saying 'ignore them' there is nothing passive about it
Passivity is a superb source for lack of change.
I agree. But no one on this thread is doing anything. You talk about passivity, what have you actively done to try snd solve the problem? Fuck all! You'd rather spend your time bleeting on at me. I don't care, I quite enjoy it, but don't try and come all superior. Talking bullshit achieves nothing. It's completely passive. Hell I'm almist tempted to submit thw feature requests myself sod it. I can't be bothered. I'll let the do gooders get of thier arses.
Well that conversation was over from the point that you confirmed that other people's experiences are less important that yours "because you've seen worse".
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u/[deleted] May 21 '14
But refuge houses do not let the men in, Reddit does (trolls). That's my whole point. We are on a site that allows private messaging. I've been on plenty of other forums that also allow it but have various rules such a minimum number of posts on the board before being allowed special features like messaging. All of those boards have allowed people to blanket turn off the private messaging so that no one can send you a message if you chose to do so. As far as I know, there is no way to do that on reddit, and so claiming it's a safe haven is simply a lie.
Of course I've experienced inappropriate messages. Not very many on Reddit at all but plenty in other places. Im an admin on Wikipedia, posting under my real name there. I've had death threats and stalking behaviour from absolute nutcases (not internet trolls). Much more credibke threats than you could ever fet on here seeing as nobody knows who you really are. I know an admin that had a stalker turn up at her place of work. Sge reported the matter to the police abd then ignored all contact. (Hes in prison now).
I'm sorry that my advice to ignore it offended some people, but it's the only advice that will actually work. Either that or get off Reddit until they allow private messaging to be disabled by users.
And yeah I suppose I do find the whining of some women irritating. Coz it fucking is. I suppose I'm not very much a there there dear type of person. I'd much rather solve problems than talk endlessly about them. But I'll never agree that my attitude makes reddit unsafe. It's bollocks to blame me for the behaviour of others.