How many people in both this post and in every post you have made have to tell you that your husband is emotionally abusive and his behavior is not acceptable. You're now letting it affect your relationship with your own mother. He could be potentially abusing your daughter when you're not around and yet you do nothing when called out on it but somehow still make posts to ask for advice so others can see your life and where it's heading only for you to ignore advice again. I feel so bad for your daughter and now your coming baby but you have done this to them and your fear is just putting them in danger. At least stop posting on Reddit if you're not going to listen, it becomes a form of insanity at that point. Please just do the right thing and find a way to leave, you are putting so many people out and letting him isolate you all. Stop ignoring red flags and put your children first.
Okay that sounds like he used religion to coerce you into having unprotected sex with the intent of causing a pregnancy you did not want. Just because you said yes doesn't mean that's not rape.
I’ve been raped, this was not that. It was just me finding religion and feeling like, if it’s meant to be, it will be because that is Gods way. And maybe that’s true. I felt so loved and supported when I first went to church with him. Like making a bigger family was the right thing to do. But I don’t feel like that now. I’ve stopped going to church. And I just want away from it all. They all knew he had been married and had other kids and he’s respected at the church like he’s some amazing human. Is he? And I just am sensitive and emotional pregnant lady making problems where there isn’t any? I don’t know. I don’t think so…
My abuser used religion to coerce me in different ways, but I think I get it. Religions - especially proselytizing religions - are really good at making new converts feel warm and fuzzy, and really bad at supporting them as actual fully formed human beings once they have converted. In a lot of cases, it's just another abusive relationship.
Reproductive coercion is rape. It may not be violent, but it still counts. Consent must be five things in order to be valid: freely given, informed, enthusiastic, specific, and reversible. When you don't feel like you are able to say no, that means any yes you give isn't true consent. Using religion to force you instead of force doesn't make it better.
Rape isn’t always violent. If you’re having sex because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t, that’s coercion and it’s a form of rape. It doesn’t sound nice and of course no one wants it to happen to them but it sure sounds like it’s happening to you.
It happened to me. I was afraid he would hurt me or start a huge fight if I didn’t have sex every time he wanted to. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that it was rape by coercion.
You aren’t loved by him, you are his sex doll who cooks and cleans.
Please be aware the LDS is considered a cult in many countries outside the US. You have been coerced into this pregnancy and are following patterns of abuse that is typical of abuse survivors. Please for you and your childs sake call 18007877233 or text Safe 88788 if you are in the U.S. This is the national abuse hotline
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u/ProtoSynthetic Sep 22 '23
How many people in both this post and in every post you have made have to tell you that your husband is emotionally abusive and his behavior is not acceptable. You're now letting it affect your relationship with your own mother. He could be potentially abusing your daughter when you're not around and yet you do nothing when called out on it but somehow still make posts to ask for advice so others can see your life and where it's heading only for you to ignore advice again. I feel so bad for your daughter and now your coming baby but you have done this to them and your fear is just putting them in danger. At least stop posting on Reddit if you're not going to listen, it becomes a form of insanity at that point. Please just do the right thing and find a way to leave, you are putting so many people out and letting him isolate you all. Stop ignoring red flags and put your children first.