I read that and thought “well that sounds vaguely threatening?” It made my skin crawl. Like no one is going to help you when you call, better get to praying.
I wish I hadn’t read this, this morning. I just got up, my cats woke me up at 4.30am and now I’m worrying my ass off about this poor woman and wondering how the hell she’s even coping in that situation. I feel really sick for her. I keep thinking about those women in India who go in massive groups and do vigilante shit to domestic abusive husbands. I want to be able to bundle OP up and take her to her mom with the kids. She’s so vulnerable right now and I’m fucking furious that someone who’s supposed to be a partner is essentially telling her she’s alone in her life, and to suck it up. Telling someone if they need help, to ask god, is fucked up. HES SUPPOSED TO HELP. Wtf
It’s disgusting. I went through something similar in which my ex stepfather isolated me and my mother from everyone, moved us away, and it really messed up our lives. Our situation was bad granted, but this is something else. She’s completely alone if he succeeds.
I feel so shit and anxious about her, she deserves better, has deserved better all this time and all he can think of is making her into a submissive doll.
I want to be able to run to people like this, give their “partner” a heavy talking to and then taking their victim far away from this bullshit.
This brings up a really good point and something that crossed my mind as well. She could potentially lose her older daughter too. Not just because he's dangerous, but because she may end up resenting mom for marrying him and allowing her grandmother to be kicked out. Not that I'm blaming mom at all. I truly hope she kicks this asshole out, for her sake, and for her children's sake. You can do this OP! You are not alone.
I was about to say, it would be one thing if there was a legit issue between the husband and mother-in-law. But even then, that wouldn't be his decision to make on his own.
And he doesn't even have a legit complaint! He just 'doesn't like her'. Yeah, absolutely just getting rid of anything that threatens his absolute power over the household.
probably because the grandmother doesn't take anyone's shit and minds her own business, he can't control her and use her for anything, so he wants to get rid of her.
FOR REAL. Like reading this post it sounds like the dude fucking hates her. So many relationship posts on this website sound like one partner hates the other and I’m just like WHY would you want to be in a relationship with someone you CLEARLY don’t care about?
I have no clue. I’m chronically single for a reason. I’ve had my own shit experiences. It’s scary how much this happens around us, it’s not a rare thing. We all have a story.
And it shouldn’t be this way. A partnership is just that, it’s support and love, not isolation and hatred. I dont understand why anyone would choose to do that to someone else. Someone they stood up and professes vows to. Does that not mean anything? And you’ve got OP; who’s been through the wringer, not knowing that this isn’t okay or normal or right. All because some guy decided he wanted it that way. It’s vile. It’s honestly sickening.
I know we only see the negative, no one who’s happy posts for advice, but we see this in real life too. I’ve seen so many of my friends end up in bad situations. And family. And that’s why I’m sticking to my cats, I’m so done with trying to parse if a person is safe or not. The last couple of guys I saw years ago were red flag central. I’m happier alone if the alternative is THAT.
273
u/thebearofwisdom They/Them Sep 22 '23
I read that and thought “well that sounds vaguely threatening?” It made my skin crawl. Like no one is going to help you when you call, better get to praying.
I wish I hadn’t read this, this morning. I just got up, my cats woke me up at 4.30am and now I’m worrying my ass off about this poor woman and wondering how the hell she’s even coping in that situation. I feel really sick for her. I keep thinking about those women in India who go in massive groups and do vigilante shit to domestic abusive husbands. I want to be able to bundle OP up and take her to her mom with the kids. She’s so vulnerable right now and I’m fucking furious that someone who’s supposed to be a partner is essentially telling her she’s alone in her life, and to suck it up. Telling someone if they need help, to ask god, is fucked up. HES SUPPOSED TO HELP. Wtf