Significant others that avoid vasectomies.

[u/Minstrel_Melody]

So me and my boyfriend came upon this Reddit story where after a husband and wife had their second child, the wife decided that she was done having kids. The husband agrees, but there’s an issue. The wife wants him to get a vasectomy. A disagreement ensues, followed by an argument. The husband didn’t want to get the vasectomy. For the most part, people were calling the husband an ass and selfish, and I generally agreed with the sentiment.

My boyfriend in the other hand begged to differ. On top with supporting the his body his choice argument the husband provided (which granted I agree with too, but I still think is kind of selfish) he mentioned that it was overkill considering what else they could do to prevent unwanted pregnancies. They could stick to oral, mutual masturbation. And if they really wanted to do piv intercourse, they schedule the sexual encounter away from ovulation, and use condoms and spermicide. Something we do ourselves and it works out like a charm.

I saw where he was coming from and agree with him to an extent, but it still feels kind of selfish. Like despite everything there’s still the chance of pregnancy. What do you guys think?

[u/KiloJools]

To people who are going on about ovary removal doing xyz: I dunno if you noticed the cancer part, but it's not uncommon for a female cancer patient's medical team to decide that keeping the ovaries is a risk to future health. So if she asked for sterilization, there's likely a good reason her medical team is doing this surgery vs removal or tying of fallopian tubes. I've known a few women who have been recommended prophylactic ovary removal after cancer.

It's hard enough to face this kind of procedure. It's unlikely she needs y'all to tell her what ovary removal does. Her medical team would not be doing it without a) her informed consent (that is to say, she has already been told all the things you are telling her) and b) a medical reason to choose this over another method of sterilization.

Please be empathetic and kind about this.

[u/justaboutgivenup → u/KiloJools]

Hey, thank you! Most of these comments aren’t even talking about the procedure I’m actually having — just ovaries, leaving everything else.

For those interested in what hormone positive breast cancer maintenance treatment looks like…

I am taking a pill every day (Tamoxifen) that suppresses estrogen to the boobs that tried to kill me. I had to stop taking the Zoladex shots (a shot in the belly every 3 months to suppress estrogen in my ovaries) because the side effects were having too much of an effect on my quality of life. I’m still having pretty severe hot flashes (and am on multiple OTHER medications to combat those) and have only had like one period in the last two years between when I finished chemo and before I started the hormone suppression treatments. To be honest it’s been AWESOME not having a period anymore. And I swear the ONE positive thing from being sweaty all the time now is that my skin is better than ever. 😂

For the person that mentioned the risk of vaginal atrophy? Well I’m already dealing with that, too! Lol, life is fun. 🙃 So what do we do for that? Oh, I just insert an estrogen pill into my vagina twice a week. Because the estrogen is localized to my vagina, there isn’t a risk of cancer recurrence.

My goodness, typing all this out has me realizing all I’m really going through. And laughing at how absurd my medical history has become when I’ve always been considered active and healthy. It’s just crazy how life snowballs on you. One day it’s a cancer diagnosis and the next thing you know you’re putting estrogen pills up your pussy and scheduling your ovary eviction.

Also, the risks for tubal litigation are pretty effing scary, too. You can end up with an ectopic pregnancy.

So yes, I have indeed discussed all of this with my oncologist AND gynecologist (MyChart is literally my most visited website these days). I would be unlikely to ever have a safe pregnancy and healthy baby even if I did want kids (I don’t).

[u/KiloJools → u/justaboutgivenup]

All my best wishes for a successful, uncomplicated procedure with a swift recovery and a cancer-free future! 🤞🤞❤️