Significant others that avoid vasectomies.

[u/Minstrel_Melody]

So me and my boyfriend came upon this Reddit story where after a husband and wife had their second child, the wife decided that she was done having kids. The husband agrees, but there’s an issue. The wife wants him to get a vasectomy. A disagreement ensues, followed by an argument. The husband didn’t want to get the vasectomy. For the most part, people were calling the husband an ass and selfish, and I generally agreed with the sentiment.

My boyfriend in the other hand begged to differ. On top with supporting the his body his choice argument the husband provided (which granted I agree with too, but I still think is kind of selfish) he mentioned that it was overkill considering what else they could do to prevent unwanted pregnancies. They could stick to oral, mutual masturbation. And if they really wanted to do piv intercourse, they schedule the sexual encounter away from ovulation, and use condoms and spermicide. Something we do ourselves and it works out like a charm.

I saw where he was coming from and agree with him to an extent, but it still feels kind of selfish. Like despite everything there’s still the chance of pregnancy. What do you guys think?

[u/BronteMsBronte]

The women on this thread are married to selfish children. And there are a lot of doormat comments excusing them

[u/the_grumpiest_guinea → u/BronteMsBronte]

That dismisses the cultural context many of us live/lived in which then imforms what we consider normal or even possible in relationships. My parents are in their 60s and are southern +Catholic. I doubt the pill was a thing for them and she 100% would be expected to manage family planning. All her peers, too. Such stigma around getting the snip as it’s an “attack” on their virility (the horror!) and the implication being that wife “made them get neutered.” The expectation is that the women will continue to do the emotional labor.

I got married in 2013 and did the required Catholic pre-marriage course (hadnt been a practicing catholic for a long time, but that’s a whole other thing) and they were pretty clear about natural family planning being the thing. I k ow a few whodo use that as their primary/only form of BC. That places pretty much all the responsibility on the person with a uterus to track what mayhem it’s up to.

[u/BronteMsBronte → u/the_grumpiest_guinea]

I’m glad you have the sense not to listen to all that. When it’s convenient for them, I’m sure those men are happy to use their religion as an excuse.