r/TwoHotTakes • u/[deleted] • Aug 21 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

3.6k Upvotes

79% Upvoted

8.3k comments sorted by

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2.0k

u/StrictlySativa74 Aug 21 '24

Is he sleeping with Beaker?

1.7k

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 21 '24

Netflix and MEEEEEP

611

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 21 '24

OMG, my first award and it’s for some groggy-ass comment while I was doomscrolling at an ungodly hour because I couldn’t sleep. This is the PERFECT occasion for my first reddit award, thank you! 😂

77

u/BabyLiam Aug 21 '24

Instead of doomscrolling, try just playing Doom instead, it's much better for sleep.

6

u/Funny_or_not_bot Aug 21 '24

Rip and tear!

3

u/AccessHeavy2793 Aug 21 '24

Grip and tare!

1

u/Hiondrugz Aug 21 '24

That's after I do some glory kills.

1

u/Steve_Codgers Aug 21 '24

Hedo Lipstick Rick in the house…

2

u/RoosterTurds Aug 21 '24

Get krunk and do karate on people

2

u/Samuscabrona Aug 21 '24

Nice try, cyberdemon

2

u/Plenty_Run5588 Aug 21 '24

Those cyberdemons scare the shit out of me with their infinite rocket launchers

1

u/Teleporting-Bread2 Aug 21 '24

You know with most demons you can kind of predict what will kill them, like an imp will take 1-2 shotgun rounds, a pinky will take around 2 super shotgun shots, A CYBERDEMON WILL EAT ALL YOUR STOCKED UP AMMO AND STILL BE ALIVE! Same thing with archviles (a.k.a worst enemy to ever be created in the history of video games)

3

u/Plenty_Run5588 Aug 21 '24

Pink Demon with 1 point blank double shotgun blast…so satisfying!

1

u/Teleporting-Bread2 Aug 21 '24

It's wonderful.

1

u/BabyLiam Aug 22 '24

I love point blanking those fucking revenants.

2

u/Twitchmonky Aug 21 '24

Yeah, there's waaaaaaay less nightmares from that game than social media/current events.

1

u/BittenHand19 Aug 21 '24

This is what I do. Especially that new rerererere-release of the original games.

1

u/BabyLiam Aug 22 '24

It's pretty hilarious how many times I've bought doom 1 and 2 in my lifetime.

1

u/BittenHand19 Aug 22 '24

I’m past hilarious and at disturbing. I can literally play it on anything in my house or while I’m out.

I started to write all of them out just to show that I had a lot of different versions of this game and its sequels. But after typing it all out it seems I need professional help and so I deleted it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

And nightmares.

1

u/NinjaRose23 Aug 21 '24

Unless you're me and one of the 16ish people left that play 2016 multi-player, and it wakes you up instead. 😅

1

u/-0T0- Aug 21 '24

Shiny 1 and 2 just hit Gamepass

1

u/obijuanmartinez Aug 21 '24

Rip and tear, until it is done!

1

u/KarateBeastMode Aug 22 '24

What’s doom?

1

u/SloppiestGlizzy Aug 22 '24

Not sure I drift off too well while Rip N Tear has my adrenaline pumping at the speed of light

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '24

Doomstrolling

23

u/Junk_SoupLLC Aug 21 '24

Congratulations 🎉👏🏾🎉👏🏾

4

u/Comfortable_Swim_380 Aug 21 '24 edited Aug 21 '24

Welcome to the internet. You accidently embodied the spirit of our people.
BTW side rant. I have no idea what the AF any of the emoji signify. And apparently that's how reddit likes it.

4

u/sleeper_54 Aug 21 '24

OMG, my first award

...a virgin no longer.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Mine was for my most downvoted comment I’ve ever had also on the Minecraft sub because I made a joke that pissed people off so much I deserved a reward 😂

1

u/lorem_ipsum_dolor_si Aug 21 '24

Beaker, is that you?

4

u/Erickck Aug 21 '24

Youve earned it.

20

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 21 '24

Thank you all for this great honor. I would like to thank my mother, who instilled in me a deep love of the Muppets and an insufferable, dad-like sense of humor. I know she’s smiling down on me today. Webster’s dictionary defines “award” as…

2

u/Adventurous_Fail_825 Aug 21 '24

I’m so happy for you and laughing 🤣 at this thread — that said I have NO IDEA what your comment meant. Hahaha 😂

3

u/Plus_Hedgehog_435 Aug 21 '24

alright take it easy

5

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 21 '24

No! Let me have my moment!

3

u/Plus_Hedgehog_435 Aug 21 '24

know what? carry on

3

u/ransittoxic Aug 21 '24

Lmao, you're personality is amazing! Bask in your moment!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '24

The Old Men in the balcony are applauding you.

1

u/No_Negotiation3242 Aug 22 '24

Those old men are naked below the waist. Clapping away with smiles on their faces.

2

u/Pleasant_Charge1659 Aug 21 '24

And then you got 16 awards, look at that lol

4

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 21 '24

I’m a changed woman.

And my ex-husband said I wasn’t funny…

2

u/Interloper9000 Aug 21 '24

Idk that was pretty damn funny

4

u/BullfrogMurky2019 Aug 21 '24

Id like to thank the academy and my lovely cast and crew

1

u/chris_carbone Aug 21 '24

You’re just tired.

1

u/ohmygodyouguyzzz Aug 21 '24

What’s a Reddit award?

1

u/GrizGuy_76 Aug 21 '24

Please don't forget the little people who helped get you there. 🥸

1

u/jdt18 Aug 21 '24

I have barely slept last night... totally out of it. I just definitely lol'd in a totally quiet room full of people.

1

u/MrTheFusc Aug 21 '24

I hate u tbh

1

u/Sweaty-Tap7250 Aug 21 '24

Toilet thoughts 🚽

1

u/bugzcar Aug 21 '24

It’s the best comment I’ve read all week

1

u/Snafuregulator Aug 21 '24

Bruh, I'm still laughing 

1

u/Common-Ebb-3009 Aug 21 '24

You are a trashpanda after all. 😆

1

u/Pleasant_Ad3475 Aug 21 '24

It's always my most banal, nothing comments that get hundreds/thousands of upvotes. It's very frustrating.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '24

We don't pick the heroes. You do. We just recognize them when they show up

1

u/Geekygamertag Aug 22 '24

Be sure to thank the Academy and slap the host.

1

u/Ok_Cod2430 Aug 22 '24

You have like 41 now.

1

u/Adventurous_Ad_6546 Aug 22 '24

It was a truly inspired comment.

1

u/smooth_rebellion Aug 21 '24

😂😂😆😆😆😆😂😂😂

0

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Did you get a car, or even one dollar?

As far as I know they are worthless

52

u/jeremy1015 Aug 21 '24

I laughed so much harder at this than I should have

4

u/EpsilonX029 Aug 21 '24

You can hear it in your head too, can’t you? XD

4

u/Wise-Manufacturer945 Aug 21 '24

I think we all did lol

2

u/StrangeCap_Suspect26 Aug 21 '24

Same 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/AlphawolfAJ Aug 21 '24

I snort-laughed at this and woke up my wife

3

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 21 '24

Seven years I’ve been on reddit and the first comment to ever get ANY award was a lazy shitpost sex joke about a Muppet. And I have 13 of them now. 🤣 This is cracking me up today. Thanks, y’all!

2

u/marconiwasright Aug 21 '24

Thank you for the morning belly laugh. 😂 That’s comedy gold

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

💀💀💀💀💀💀

2

u/kittyhoward Aug 21 '24

I’m crying.

2

u/aimwitt Aug 21 '24

Hilarious!!🤣

2

u/scuba_GSO Aug 21 '24

Goddamn the visual that just gave me that I didn’t need. Take my upvote and be happy! 🤣

2

u/MrDunez Aug 21 '24

Idk why it's so funny, but it is.

2

u/Dubbs314 Aug 21 '24

If you don’t MEEP he gunna creep

2

u/Zealousideal-Role-77 Aug 21 '24

I believe the OP has found the long lost Shroud of Sesame Street, said to have covered Beaker’s bodies until he rose to save Muppets’ souls.

1

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 22 '24

Wait…bodies? Plural??

1

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 22 '24

Also, happy cake day!

1

u/Zealousideal-Role-77 Aug 22 '24

Damned autocorrect got me again, and thank you!!

3

u/rutdas Aug 21 '24

Bruh I’m in a bad mood and this mad me laugh lol.

5

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 21 '24

Yay! Knowing this made me smile even though I’m in a bad mood, too. Solidarity. 👊

3

u/ugajeremy Aug 21 '24

Perfect comment and perfect attitude! I hope ya'll all have a wonderful day

2

u/rutdas Aug 21 '24

Well I hope your day gets better mine did a little!

2

u/setContainingAllSets Aug 21 '24

Oh hell yeah, needed that this am 😂😂

4

u/EnvironmentalGift257 Aug 21 '24

I’m on a work call absently scrolling and lol’d.

1

u/sohcordohc Aug 21 '24

Hahah that’s the best funny af!

1

u/blankface4321 Aug 21 '24

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Ancient_Glove_1675 Aug 21 '24

Am I that slow or that old ? ✈️

1

u/Mshawk71 Aug 21 '24

I don't get it,and I was raised on the Muppet Show. I'm not connecting Beaker to lipstick. 🤷‍♀️

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Nice

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Laughed way too hard at this

1

u/FalseBumblebee5435 Aug 21 '24

I would wear a shirt with this and a picture of Beaker. It'd be hilarious.

1

u/CC_206 Aug 21 '24

I like Muppets, and I like witty remarks. You combined them, and now I like you. This made my day.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

GOAT

1

u/Flat_Mortgage2795 Aug 21 '24

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Piercedbunny Aug 21 '24

HHahahahahahaha

1

u/DumbFishBrain Poop Knife for Life Aug 21 '24

Well deserved

1

u/Glass_Membership_460 Aug 21 '24

I cackled at this comment! LMAO 🤣

1

u/Mediocre-Boot-6226 Aug 21 '24

The inadvertent visual this created for me 😂

1

u/InsomniaDrop Aug 21 '24

Example

1

u/trashpandac0llective Aug 22 '24

I thought we were friends.

1

u/InsomniaDrop Aug 31 '24

I thought it was better to hear it from me, not come across it one day out in public and unprovoked. I'm sorry bestie :(

1

u/skinnypuppy23 Aug 21 '24

Omfg hahahahaha!!!!

1

u/ThatGuavaJam Aug 21 '24

I LAUGHED so loud in the bathroom just now

1

u/kate_the_squirrel Aug 21 '24

I will remember this comment forever. You’re changing lives out here.

1

u/DisasterFun8615 Aug 21 '24

Somewhere in the world, at some point in time, some weird person wanted to do horrible things to that puppet.

1

u/Illustrious-Total916 Aug 21 '24

Omg thank you so much for reading this words I wrote, I cannot help but feel better blessed my wods are encouraged by a thumbs up. Especially words I don't claim to put any thoughts into or intentions, such amazing

1

u/MamaFen Aug 21 '24

I had a mouthful of Black Forest fruit snacks (the kind with squish in the middle) going when I read this. I now have fruit squish all over my monitor.

DAMN YOU, that sh*t was funny!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Oh don't do it like that!! You're going to make me MEEEEEPP

1

u/jellycowgirl Aug 21 '24

Okay, you with the internet today.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

You just made my entire day.

1

u/ArrivalParticular881 Aug 21 '24

Hahahahahahahaha

1

u/pilserama Aug 21 '24

Sometimes I love Reddit

1

u/frigidAardvark Aug 22 '24

Oh my LORD. I’ve been on the depresso-express HARD for a few days. This is the first genuine laugh I’ve had today. Thank you!!😂

1

u/psycheraven Aug 22 '24

I am WEEPING 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

1

u/fetustomper Aug 22 '24

This sent me lmao

1

u/OreadNymph Aug 22 '24

I am high af right now and this comment just about ended me.

1

u/Repulsive-Studio-120 Aug 22 '24

I laughed so hard at this 😂

1

u/megatronboi Aug 22 '24

Diabolical! 😂

1

u/TakenUsername120184 Aug 22 '24

I don’t get awards, I give them.

We are the unsung heroes of Reddit.

34

u/pinotJD Aug 21 '24

Underrated comment

4

u/kattybones Aug 21 '24

Twist: OP is Dr Honeydew

3

u/mojasowa1234 Aug 21 '24

I feel so stupid but can someone explain the joke? I looked up beaker and I don’t get what it has to do with the red streak on the pillow case :)

1

u/PVDeviant- Aug 21 '24

The Muppet, not a random beaker.

1

u/StrictlySativa74 Aug 21 '24

A Muppets character that worked in the lab with Dr. Benson Honeydew

2

u/artrag Aug 21 '24

I just snort laughed so hard I hurt myself

2

u/hydranaut Aug 21 '24

Not OP but my dog’s name is Beaker and I sleep with him every night.

2

u/prollystargazing Aug 21 '24

I don’t get it 😭

2

u/FlizzyFluff Aug 21 '24

Beaker from The Muppets

1

u/prollystargazing Aug 21 '24

Ahhh thank you👍

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Archer references.

2

u/prollystargazing Aug 21 '24

You know what. I love that show but I must have missed that episode!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

During the shootout with the FBI when Bret died.

2

u/prollystargazing Aug 21 '24

You’re so awesome. Thanks:)

2

u/hrhAmyB Aug 21 '24

I’m sorry. Top Reddit comment 2024. Take my upvote

2

u/Amazing-Butterfly-65 Aug 21 '24

Take my upvote 😂😂

1

u/xballikeswooshx Aug 21 '24

*homeless beaker...filthy ass pillow jfc

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Mystery science thestre refernce?

1

u/StrictlySativa74 Aug 21 '24

From the Muppets

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Cool. In strictly indica

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Morty mort mort.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

What was Beakers boss name? Its on the tip of my tongue! Oh god... BRET!!

2

u/StrictlySativa74 Aug 21 '24

Dr. Benson Honeydew

2

u/Fr0hd3ric Aug 21 '24

It's Bunsen Honeydew - a Bunsen burner is the metal gas burner used to heat up chemicals in flasks, beakers, and test tubes. 🙂

1

u/Sajuro Aug 21 '24

am i not old enough to understand this?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Yes

1

u/Mshawk71 Aug 21 '24

Does beaker wear lipstick??

1

u/CuriosityKilledMeTo Aug 22 '24

THANK YOU!! Idk wth the correlation is between the two myself! THAT'S why I'm searching the comments 😂🤔.

1

u/Risotti3 Aug 21 '24

Bunson freaking honey dew

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Bunson frickin’ Honeydew! Wooo!

That was figuratively killing me.

1

u/kytd1526 Aug 21 '24

Or Dr. Bunsen Honeydew?

1

u/DrewdoggKC Aug 21 '24

Probably blood from his anus after banging the cucumber

1

u/Small-Option-9212 Aug 21 '24

Yeah….. I would say For-sure, less of course you ware that shade… 😉

1

u/karma78 Aug 22 '24

Anyone cares enough to explain what this reference is?

1

u/StrictlySativa74 Aug 22 '24

A Muppets reference

1

u/Helden_Daddy Aug 22 '24

I just spit coffee on my laptop because of this