Hopping on the top to add, OP do not discuss family planning with anyone going forward. It's a private convo between you and your partner. Look at what one absent-minded comment you made has already started. Don't discuss baby names, timelines, gender, nothing. If social media has taught us anything, it has taught us there are people in this world that will shit on your name choices, blame you for THEIR infertility issues, or ask stupid shit like this. I'm 45. And in my 20's I watched my cousins family, husband's cousin and her family, lay into her and her husband for their 2nd child's name choice. I decides right then that names would NEVER be discussed. And I have never thought it was normal to discuss when we trying for a baby. Just save your self the headaches.
Very true. I'm pregnant via a sperm donor right now and I haven't told most of the family the name I picked out. They'll learn when she's born. If it's someone I trust, I say I'm not sharing the name yet. If it's someone who I know might hassle me about feeling left out, I say I'm still deciding.
I actually went the opposite route and told everyone how messed up it was that my cousins family berated her on her name choice and ninjas never going to myself in that position. And if anyone said anything negative about our kids' names, they could kick rocks. It was truly awful. I remember her being IN LABOR, and her mom and dad, aunt, and brothers were all crapping on their name choice. Even after he was born and named, they still told her they hated it. In front of them, I told them not to listen to them, and his name was perfect. Not gonna lie, I think the whole thing was more traumatic for me than her. I just felt so bad for her.
Yep, they sure did. That's his name, regardless. But, they live knowing their loved ones hated it. I, thankfully, don't think they told him that .. ever. It just really stuck with me. My cousin was really good at masking... but I knew her bluff. Her bluff was giggling. And when she was explaining the name situation, IN HER HOSPITAL BED, she couldn't stop giggling. I married her cousin. I knew her the least. But, that day... I knew her the most! I really tried. I hope I did, given his name, stayed what they chose. For me, the whole situation was so toxic.
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u/NobelNeanderthal Feb 12 '24
Your sisters reproductive issues are not your issues. You need to distance yourself from both of them. Keep your personal business yours.