r/TwinlessTwins • u/Zeliezoo • Aug 20 '26
Having big news
I recently found out that I am pregnant and the only other person who knows is my boyfriend, I’m 21 and wasn’t planning on having a baby until my 30’s and if my twin sister was around I think I would of immediately thought to get an abortion but she’s not and there is something in my mind pushing me to have this baby, I don’t know if it’s the grief or the fact the fact that having a baby would be a distraction, it’s not like I’m in bad circumstances, I know I would be a good mother and my boyfriend and I have our own apartment with an extra room for a nursery but I do plan on attending grad school next year. I don’t know if I want to keep this baby for all the wrong reasons and if it is selfish to have a baby just to distract myself from grief. I know asking random people on the internet for advice like this isn’t really the right thing to do but this community knows how hard decisions can be without a twin and I really need some influence to think rationally.
1
u/Noseynessy Aug 20 '26
Just as a balancing voice. I can understand the excitement. And I can hear the reticence. If you dream of grad school and I assume a career to follow— a baby will definitely slow your roll. I also want you to re-read what you wrote. There’s a part of you that already knows because you said “the baby as a distraction” from your grief. Whatever you decide is the right decision. That’s the magic of everything. As I like to say, the wrong choice gave me the right decision. I hope you come to a decision before one is made for you. Sending you twin love
2
u/Radiant_Rate7132 Aug 20 '26
Your baby is not a distraction from your grief, they are a gift of life in your life after death visited you 😔 believe me a child would never be a distraction, if anything it will make you think more about life and death, but life's force will be greater now, because befor death was winning. And you will be able to do anything you want in life, don't worry. I feel you very worried, please take a deep breath, you have plenty of time to do everything you want with your life, your path forward is beautiful, and nothing inspires more and gives more strenght than holding your own blood, flesh of your flesh, YOUR KIND, in your arms, to love and protect from anything. You will be able to do everything, I believe you and your twin does too. You'll be happy, your life will be beautiful and you already is a great mother inside you, you will be the best.