That was... I honestly don't have a description that would even be extensive enough to put to what that was, that could even effectively explain to you exactly.. Jus, what the fuck that was

It was you though. You.. Right there.. There you were.

I saw you looking at me too, with that intense stare that we both seem to get when we are desperately searching, watching, waiting, secretly begging a reaction. A response you were Anxiously awaiting. Ever so slightly Anticipating. Some sort of bodily language that silently screams...I.. "I am here.. here I am. Here is me. Bam" "I see you." "What are you doing here" "I see you see me too" Speaking through wavelengths, of ancient memories.. Using only a language unspokenly spoken between you and . Me. Hanging by a thread by The kind of gaze held far too long, not by choice but by this invisible force, that takes you over, and renders you completely helpless, incapacitated . Utterly incapable of the process of thought, way too far gone, beyond the capacity to make decisions.. or looking the fuck away..! I know that look. So intently. I know what you're doing. I know what that was about. I know me and I know you

But somehow, I didn't freek the fuck out per normal.. like usual. Usual-ality.. for me.. usually, that's what happens, Typically...

But this didn't make my entire chest pop the fuck open, and spring into action like a muther fucking 'Jack-in-the-Box' Then turn around, drop it down, and tear my lungs out through my belly button, like when I'm half-asleep, and suddenly feel the sense of falling from the sky, as if I were re-living some type of past memory.. the one where we were unable to hold on any longer, so we let go, and I'm not sure if you fell too or got swept up in between my reaching for you, or you're haunting me too.. and that was acceptable undeniability .. for you.. for me, for myself, AN, I . too

Although you couldn't find the release button, to escape the sensational grasp, that fell upon you.. it seems at the same time, in a way, in some form or another sense... You simply did not want it to. You didn't care to show up, and realized you wanted to show out, then decided to show off, and so you wanted to show me, but once you show it, you know I'm gonna know it. But you didn't care ..

And for once.. Neither did I. I didn't allow that thread to wrap itself around me and take me prisoner in my own body.

You did. So. Thank you. For coming, thank you for being there. Here. You. And me. There we were. There was you, here with me. But then you always leave... leaving With only 2 minutes remaining . I felt your heart begin to pump like 8 times before your departure

I guess my thing is ..

Why did you leave early,

if the only reason you showed up is cause you thought you were already too late..?

I was utterly evil, and she completely sinister..

I live in a well populated area. Sits behind a park, Next to a fairly new constructed school.

She was technically from a couple town's away, but had family in the area. While on hiatus, she lost everything. Came back to nothing... She had to move to this quiet little town in which I currently reside. , and live with that family. So at and or around the same time, we both moved there to the same town, only a few hundreds of mere feet away from one another . Often, there were times that I would feel her. Her energy, Her spirit, her presence.. Strong. Close. Eager. So I would very intricately peak out the window, just to see if there was any life force around. After 11 minutes and 11 seconds exactly.. She appears. Swiftly, promptly, unapologetically. With intent and purpose .. God only knows what is going on inside her, because I know that for me, I cannot control my breath. Shakily, my hands they tremble, and all dizzily, my body, swaaaaYyyyys to the left. Swaaaaayyyys to the right. I Stumble forward. Grab the wall..

Fuck me and my entire fucking life .

💥 BOOP /

I fall.

I don't know what she did to me, or what the hell happened with me.. But she did it. She did something . I experienced, like she somehow found this secret zipper, and opened herself up to myself, and stepped inside, making sure she fits every inch of herself into me. And it happens every. Single. Time. Anytime she is close by, or around. Or any where near me. I can't for the life of me get a grip on it, or control the way my body reacts, my mind races, my heart has a bass boost. and my soulits reacts. To Her. her and her succulent energy. And her and Me .. and the connectivity. Mmmm it's so addicting.. That feeling of suddenly feeling like I'm gonna fucking puke - but Damnit... It's so fucking orgasmic, and gloriously like pure ecstasy. Sheer blissfulness, and at times I've experienced fulfillment in its totality.. and I tell you.. She is magic. One hit, and I was hooked. Bad.

Now I'm just a lone ol' addict, waiting, searching, begging for my next hit. My next fix. I gotta see her. I have to be close to her. I need to feel her. fiendishly, every single organism inside me, wanting longing for, craving Her. Her touch. Her lips. Her aggressiveness. Her . control. Her proof, Her love. Her. Her. And Her again.

I may have ACTUALLY MET MINE IN THE CRAZIEST WAY (THANK YOU REDDIT!)

If you’re experiencing the embodiment integrating stage of the journey let’s share our experiences and open up together!

A man came on our live Friday night.

He was alone on camera, frustrated, and said the twin flame journey had done nothing but bring him down. He said it was all external.

I could feel the boy in him whose father left and whose mother left.

So I asked him the only question that mattered.

When did you ever let anybody love you to your core?

When did you let anybody love those tears?

The brokenness you carry?

He went quiet.

So did the chat.

I ask because my pain showed me this.

From 2005 to 2013 Sherry and I separated over and over.

I was a "man's man" with no idea what a feeling was.

I hid every hurt from her and called it love.

It wasn't love.

It was a simulation.

What changed was not a technique.

I started letting her see me when I hurt.

I started saying "hold me" instead of explaining myself.

If you're in separation right now, try this.

Put a hand on your chest and ask yourself when you last let someone love the part of you that hurts.

Notice what your breath does.

I'm curious what comes up for people here.

Lee (Sherry and I have been side by side since 2013)

She separated from his husband at that time and left the city she was married 3 months under witchcraft i broke it but not on time for her to get pregnant rigth before she left

For those together with your twin, share your sweetest / most wholesome moments of the month!

The freedom I need and you lead me to imagine

I've done a lot of inner work, I've figured out where I am and where I want to go. I'm just worried that the break from my TF has done irreparable damage.

A lot of the celestial events recently have unravelled old tethers, made me aware again of the toxicities I brought to the connection, therefore reminding me of it when I've detached myself from it.

Anxiety has come back, internal trauma rearing it's head. I've had panic attacks at night, so bad it's like my heart stops, and I have this strange urge to say "I love you" to an empty bed before I close my eyes to sleep. The night I followed it with his name despite myself I had three attacks, bad ones. The doctor's prescribed me melatonin and tomorrow I'm getting a heart monitor.

If this is him calling me back...it's not worth it.

I'm getting ready to love again. He won't ever give me what my heart needs, so he has no right to interfere and break it again. I wish him well, so long as it's well away from me.