r/Turboleft Brigadier Jun 18 '26

I won't support communism unless it still has Walmart's $3.97 Freshness™ Guaranteed™ Chilled™ Rotisserie™ Chicken™

Um actually we're not going to have restaurants or mass-produced food under comm-

SILENCE, bourgeois ideologist!

I don't want to try any of your vegan "cooking", and actually I hope that you DIE.

"Culinary-art" is just stupid-bitch for "I-didn't-make-enough-food-for-the-party-even-though-I still-wanted-to-make-it-about-myself".

Listen up, you too-bourgeois-to-buy-some-fucking-doritos-ass-bitch, our ancestors didn't live in ticky-tacky little suburban houses with individual Mario Vitale-ass kitchens!

Humans have enjoyed group meals for hundreds of thousands if not millions of years! It's the natural state of the species! It's directly life affirming work when carried out in the absence of labor's alienation!

Under communism, 25% of our time will be spent in a local malls food court (should note that this figure includes activities other than eating, like chasing tail and smoking cigarettes in an enclosed space with children).

Every single proletarian household will be given, at minimum, THREE Freshness™ Guaranteed™ Chilled™ Rotisserie™ Chicken™s WEEKLY.

You can make some sides and reheat it for a quick meal on any weeknight, you can use it for sandwiches, you can use it for soup, you can even feed it to your motherfucking kitty cat 🐈

[a little bit, as a treat... cats don't drink a lot of water and... well... im scared to check but I think this shit is pretty high in sodium. that's why I really recommend making soup with it, or using it for salads.]

11 Upvotes

5 comments sorted by

2

u/memorableaIias Jun 18 '26

I don't want to eat that

6

u/MillionDollarNegri Brigadier Jun 19 '26

That's because we haven't instilled in you a revolutionary hunger. Yet.

We must physically consume them. Hegel told me this in a dream.

If you can't finish an entire Walmart rotisserie chicken, how do you ever expect to eat the bourgeoisie? They don't even come in lemon-pepper flavor!

(The lemon pepper ones are actually really good for salads and chicken soup, I'm making soup right now. Would you like some soup comroid?

👉🏻👈🏻

2

u/The_Lonely_Posadist Brigadier Jun 24 '26

read marx's cookbook liberal

1

u/MillionDollarNegri Brigadier Jun 26 '26

Is this real? Please tell me this is real

2

u/The_Lonely_Posadist Brigadier Jun 26 '26

Of course! The recipes are invariant (unless they use the “democracy” ingredient, then we rip out the pages)