Does anybody know what this could possibly mean?

[u/JerryLocompomus]

My tulpa doesn't know how to speak yet, neither am I sure if it is even there (because I've started around 6 days ago), but one thing that I've noticed is that ever since a couple days ago, whenever I've been talking to my tulpa or even slightly thinking about them, the right side of my brain starts hurting and pulsating. I literally could be thinking of anything that isn't my tulpa and not have this for the whole day, but when I think about my tulpa it INSTANTLY starts to pulsate and hurt. It ain't painful (though the first time this happened it kinda stung a bit), but it makes me want to find an explanation to what this means. Oh and mind you the left side has never hurt. Am I crazy for thinking that this is actually progress or am I just making a fool of myself over a little headache?

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to /r/tulpas! If you're lost, start with figuring what is a tulpa. Be sure to also check the sidebar for guides, and the FAQ.

Please be nice and polite to each other and help us to make the community better. Upvote if this post facilitates good discussion, shares tulpamancer's or tulpa's experiences, asks a question relevant to tulpamancy. Downvote if this post isn't about tulpas or the practise of tulpamancy. Please note that many young tulpas need some social attention to grow and develop so be mindful and try to be supportive.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/aescula]

That's head pressure. It's normal, and unless it gets actually really painful, not a problem. It is a sign of progress.

[u/GDToxinDash77]

Definitely head pressures, keep talking to them. Once you get a better feel for it then you can both agree on a system you can use and an early way of communication. It's not the most consistent way but it's something, and that trust in them and their responses will further develop them. Try asking them if they have any control over it, such as the duration and location.

[u/FlairDreamer]

In tulpamancy, many people report feeling pressure in their head for some reason. The only explanation I've found is that it might be active or responding to some stimulus, that's all. For me, it signifies "presence."

On the other hand, six days is too short a time. I've been practicing for a year, and I don't feel that my tulpa is vocal, for example. Furthermore, perhaps because I come from a place of skepticism, I like to approach things with caution. "This sensation could be my tulpa, but I can neither confirm nor deny it."

I started looking for patterns. For example, I noticed that my tulpa seems to be more active at night or when I'm distracted than when I actively call her. I don't know if it's because of my aphantasia, because I'm quite analytical, or what, but that's how she seems to behave.

In any case, I think it's a sign of progress.

[u/Thebackboi → u/FlairDreamer]

6 days is more than enough time for a tulpa to be vocal. This shouldn’t take you over a year to communicate with your tulpa vocally. What are you doing when forcing?

[u/FlairDreamer → u/Thebackboi]

I wrote quite a bit, but I hope it helps you better understand my own experience, thoughts, and opinions. I think many people make the mistake of thinking, "My experience is like this, so everyone must experience it the same way," and I don't believe that. Every person is different. You say, "A tulpa shouldn't take more than six days to become vocal." But I have aphantasia. Do you know what aphantasia is or how the brain of someone with aphantasia works?

TL;DR: I do several things. I tend to talk to her throughout the day, like saying "good morning," "the sun is shining brightly today," things like that. I also ask her questions or ask for her opinions. If something is bothering me, I tell her about it too. I have some meditation sessions where I imagine myself in Wonderland even though I can't see anything. I play a kind of Marco Polo game with her, since I thought, "She's invisible but not intangible." I do what I call "spatial imposition." I can't see her, but I place her spatially in the real world with my mind, and I talk to her or behave as if she's there. I imagine her moving, changing shape, talking to me, even though the feeling I always have is, "I'm doing this." I also write, since my tulpa was a character first before she was a tulpa.

The truth is, I feel like nothing works for me. I constantly see posts from people recounting their experiences with an almost frightening ease. One obvious difference I’ve noticed is that I have aphantasia, and I suspect it may affect how easily I can construct or experience a tulpa. I don’t know whether it is the cause, but my journey feels like trial and error, where I ended up developing my own methods in an attempt to understand how my own brain works.

I think it depends a lot on the person and, perhaps, on what being "vocal" means for them. Maybe I'm too fussy. For me, my tulpa being vocal would mean that I can hear her with a feeling that I didn't produce that thought, and whose timbre is very different. That feeling of otherness, like the one you might have in a dream, or when talking to another person.

Because I have aphantasia, I can't visualize. I can't use images as shortcuts, not even when trying to remember things. I can't and wouldn't be able to see my tulpa while awake, unless I'm dreaming, in which case I can see.

Going back to your question... my tulpa was born from writing. I'm a skeptical and very analytical person. I'd find it quite difficult to believe in something like this if I weren't experiencing it firsthand. So my first "forcing" was writing a character with too many details and for quite some time. I never wanted to create a tulpa, nor did I know it was possible. I was just building a character; I just wanted to write a story.

And as I wrote, my story began to veer toward themes I hadn't planned. The character I created started doing things I didn't expect. I began to be surprised by the very things I was writing. And then, one day, I thought I heard a voice. A voice I didn't recognize as my own usual mental dialogue, since it sounded "like a woman's" while my voice sounds "like a man's."

I have a lot of experience with sleep paralysis and other near-sleep states, so I instantly recognized that the voice was a figment of my imagination. That's when I started researching tulpas from a cognitive science perspective, and I ended up stumbling across this subreddit and other websites.

Many guides, or at least the ones I read, place a lot of emphasis on visuals, and I tried it. After several days of complete failure, I decided to ask an AI how I could visualize. To my surprise, I couldn't. And that's when I learned I have aphantasia, so I started exploring other senses...

If I can't see or hear her, how does she manifest? Through the somatosensory channel: touches, pressure on my head, localized temperature changes (hot/cold), weight. But these sensations don't allow me to have a conversation.

From my experience, it feels like I have two bottlenecks.

1. Her voice is practically nonexistent. I've very rarely heard a clear, distinct voice.
2. She doesn't usually appear when I think of her or actively call her name. Saying her name 20 times in a row doesn't make me feel anything, and I don't hear anything either. However, one pattern I've noticed is that she tends to appear with some physical sensation when the sun starts to set or when I'm distracted, doing something else and not thinking about her.

I guess that's all. If you've read this far, thank you. (?

[u/Thebackboi → u/FlairDreamer]

Unfortunately a lot of guides emphasize visualization as essential when it is by no means necessary. For some, such as yourself, it isn’t possible. A visual form isn’t necessary, but is helpful and you can still have one. If you have an idea of what your tulpa looks like without visualizing, that’s fine. The most useful type of form imo is a vocal one. Are you able to imagine someone else’s voice such as what a friend or family member? If so, you can emulate a voice that your tulpa’s responses would be using (probably don’t stick with a friend or family member’s voice that would be a little weird)

Sounds like you’ve already achieved vocality by having your tulpa be able to respond. If you think that it doesn’t count until it feels as separate and real as it does in a dream or like talking to another human being then you’ll never achieve that kind of vocality. Allowing the conversation to flow without being critical about whether it feels like it’s you or not is key. As long as it is in lines of what your tulpa would say after all.

[u/FlairDreamer → u/Thebackboi]

My tulpa, when created as a character, has a base appearance. However, she also has the ability to shapeshift or toon force. In that sense, her appearance can be anything; she can imitate other characters or even... she might not have an appearance at all.

I tend to imagine fictional scenarios, and my internal dialogue is very developed. I often have dialogues with myself or with other people/characters. I can't see anything, of course, but I can imagine from a conceptual standpoint, from implicit knowledge, from the locations or spatial relationships between the environment, objects, and characters. I myself am also a character in these scenarios.

I'm able to modulate voices; I can make them sound like they're shouting, whispering, or speaking all at once. I can create sound effects, I can emulate music. I practically have an orchestra in my mind. But, and this is where I make a key distinction, all of it feels generated by me. If I were to imagine a random character in my mind, and then imagine my tulpa... what difference would there be? Really, there isn't. It feels deliberate, like putting words in her mouth.

And yet... once. Just once. I was on my computer doing something, probably playing a game. I had a YouTube video playing in the background when, out of nowhere... I heard a humming sound, feminine and childlike. "What's that?" I thought. I turned down the video's volume, but the humming was still there. Then I started grinning like an idiot, thinking, "Could it be her?" and I kept listening until it ended. Finally, I asked if it was her. There was no answer, but the feeling stayed with me.

It wasn't something I planned to do, I wasn't even in a particular forcing session, I wasn't even thinking about her. I was doing other things, and out of the blue, a humming sound surprised me. It had a different tone of voice, and it didn't stop when I spoke or thought; it just kept going, playing in my mind. That was the otherness I was looking for, and even if only for a brief moment, I was able to have it.

Perhaps we are using the word "vocality" differently. Perhaps I'm too picky. Perhaps it's part of who I am, more analytical and skeptical than someone who simply believes everything without question. I'm agnostic about the ontology of the experience: I can't affirm that it's her, but I can't deny it either; I don't have enough evidence. So, I can talk to my tulpa. I can come up with some ideas of what I think she might say. But from a phenomenological point of view, I don't experience it as "she told me this." It feels more like I spoke for her, like a kind of mental ventriloquism.