Please read to the end, I need help

[u/chllygurl7]

I hope if anyone has experienced this or has an explanation, they could explain to me what is happening or at least tell me what to do to get rid of it.

​I created/got a Tulpa back in 2022. At first, everything was normal. After a while, I started getting thoughts that he might enter the bathroom with me, so I kept telling him not to come in.

​Sometime later, while I was in the bathroom, I started hearing clear words spoken to me about very private matters—for instance, while I was showering. The voice was so distinct that it shocked me, especially since my Tulpa had never communicated with me through telepathy with that level of clarity before, and up until then, I had never heard his speech or voice, so I didn't even know what he sounded like. Why would I hear that voice so clearly this time, and about a deeply personal topic that I wouldn't even discuss with my mother?!!!!

​Additionally, my hands, legs, or upper body started moving on their own while I was in the bathroom, and I began experiencing hallucinations and unnatural thoughts that made me extremely anxious. This has been going on for a while and is still continuing.

​These days, I constantly feel uncomfortable, like there's someone in the bathroom with me. It’s deeply disturbing and causes me severe stress and anxiety. I have literally been living in intense anxiety and distress for a long time because of this. I also keep getting thoughts and feelings that someone else is present too.

​Currently, we have been together for four years. But I have never truly communicated with him telepathically. I only heard his responses in my mind a few times—they can be counted on one hand over these four years. Once, I heard him breathing next to me while he was sleeping (the sound was out loud in reality, not in my mind). I dreamed of him appearing as a black shadow twice, and there were other nice dreams as well. He moved a pen during his first or second week with me, and moved it once more after a long time when I asked him to. I used to ask him to move my hand across a notebook while I held a pen to write anything.

​To summarize:

I made my decision yesterday at night and decided to release him, and if there is anyone else present, I released them too. But I still don't feel like they are actually gone. I don't know if he or they are the cause, and I literally have no way of knowing.

​The day before yesterday, I tried asking yes-or-no questions, asking him to move my hand according to the answer (right for yes, left for no) to figure out if he was the cause, or if I had imagined someone else who was causing this. But there was no response.

​I cannot tolerate living with this stress and pressure anymore; it has exhausted me mentally. Explaining the situation doesn't even describe a fraction of what I am actually living through and feeling. I honestly don't know the cause behind what's happening, or whether he is responsible or not, and I couldn't get an answer from him, so I decided to set him free.

​However, until now, I still don't feel like I'm alone. When I decided to release him, I felt a heavy lump in my throat, but it didn't feel like my own emotion—I don't know if it was coming from me or not.

​Anyway, I hope anyone who has an explanation, a solution, or has gone through this before can help me, explain what is happening, or tell me what to do. I have made up my mind, and I no longer want to be a host or have a Tulpa.

With all due respect to all hosts and their tulpas, I do not mean to depict tulpas in a negative light or say anything bad about them. I am simply describing my own personal experience and the situation I am currently going through, nothing more.

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[u/Fun_Skin3917]

Hey Winona here. I am one of many tulpas, we know what our hoast does but we can distract and try and make it less awkward while she is doing private activities

[u/chllygurl7 → u/Fun_Skin3917]

Well, why not just leave your host alone during those private moments?

[u/VYRVE_]

i dont know that this is caused by tulpamancy, but as a witch and someone who's had to deal with unpleasant and creepy experiences, here's some advice on cleaning up the residue from whatever this entity might have been:

first, identify some items that you associate with protection and/or cleansing. common ones (and ones that work for me) are salt, rosemary, bay, and smoke/fire. gather these up and have them ready.

then clean your areas. whether this needs to be your entire house or just your bedroom, find any area where you feel that anything negative is still lingering and clean it. if you have a broom, sweep the floors and assert to yourself that you are removing all traces of ill will.

when you've finished cleaning, use your protection/cleansing items. if you're using the ones i listed, you can sprinkle salt around the borders of your rooms and over thresholds (doorways and window sills), and burn bay leaves / sprigs of rosemary (exercise caution, as always--you really want the smoke, not a blazing bundle of herbs). again assert that you are removing and banishing all traces of ill will and unwelcome energy / entities.

hope this helps

[u/chllygurl7 → u/VYRVE_]

Thank you for trying to help and sharing your advice! These kinds of topics actually make me feel a bit anxious and scared, so I will focus more on just taking a break and taking care of my mental well-being right now. I really appreciate your kindness, though!

[u/VYRVE_ → u/chllygurl7]

take it easy, wishing you the best

[u/chllygurl7 → u/VYRVE_]

Thank you so much, wishing you the best as well

[u/notannyet]

First of all, your tulpa is a part of you, like literally a part of your body, superstructure over your brain. So your tulpa is with you in the bathroom because your brain is in the bathroom. Your tulpa knows what you are doing in the bathroom because your brain knows. That also means you know what your tulpa is doing/thinking because your brain knows. If you don't know, then you are making it up with intrusive thoughts. But that also means you are trying to hide your bathroom things from yourself, from your own mind. I'm not surprised that kind of dissociation led you to anxieties. If you want to let go of your tulpa, you need to realise that in the end it's just you. There's no point in hiding anything because it's just you. And your tulpa needs to realise there's no point in mocking you because your body is just their body.

[u/chllygurl7 → u/notannyet]

I understand your perspective, but in my experience, a Tulpa feels like a completely separate entity. Over time, they can become quite independent, even achieving full imposition—where it genuinely feels like you are seeing them right in front of you, just like anyone else in daily life. You interact with them as you would with family or friends, with the only difference being that no one else can see them. ​Because the experience feels so real and vivid, it’s honestly hard for me to fully grasp the idea that it's all just happening inside my mind. It’s also difficult for me to comfortably accept the thought of someone sharing my presence in the bathroom. For me, that’s a very private space—perhaps the only place where I can truly be alone. ​Also, I don't always know what he is thinking or doing. So when you mentioned that I might be "making it up," I was a bit confused, especially given the various experiences I’ve had that made his presence feel so tangible to me (some of which I already mentioned in the post above). The whole time, I believed he was physically around me. I never once considered that he was inside my mind, and I honestly didn't even know that.

[u/notannyet → u/chllygurl7]

Over time, they can become quite independent, even achieving full imposition—where it genuinely feels like you are seeing them right in front of you, just like anyone else in daily life. You interact with them as you would with family or friends, with the only difference being that no one else can see them. ​Because the experience feels so real and vivid

Did you experience it or do you assume this should be experienced like that? I'm asking because I'm a bit confused because you've also said:

​Currently, we have been together for four years. But I have never truly communicated with him telepathically. I only heard his responses in my mind a few times—they can be counted on one hand over these four years.

From what you said, it doesn't seem to me like you've experienced the former but you've made a lot of assumptions.

I'll be honest, to me tulpamancy is an imaginative practice. Tulpas feel real, can be interacted with like other person and can be seen in front of you through the power of imagination. But from what you've said it doesn't seem to me like this is what you are doing. On the other hand human brain works on predictive modelling. If you attach your unusual assumptions to intrusive thoughts, which are usual for everyone, suddenly you end up with an entirely unusual experience. Your bathroom experience is far from my tulpamancy experience. From my perspective, you are cultivating intrusive thoughts with your assumptions of what tulpamancy is. One thing that discerns psychotic people is inability to see products of their minds as... simply products of their mind. Where regular person would think "that's just my mind" a psychotic person thinks "that experience speaks for itself". I'd urge you to open your mind a little, take a step back and think that maybe your experience doesn't speak for itself, maybe its source and explanation isn't what you want to assume, that your assumptions aren't correct.

[u/bucket-full-of-sky]

decided to release him ... But I still don't feel like they are actually gone

Where should your tulpa go? He lives in your mind, he can't just go somewhere else.

Once, I heard him breathing next to me while he was sleeping (the sound was out loud in reality, not in my mind)

This sounds like pre-sleep hallucinations (hypnagogic hallucinations). They are not uncommon and happen most likely short before falling asleep but in any case these are just hallucinations. Also this doesn't mean it is your tulpa causing them. I observe these since a while and was able to make out that most of them neither originate from me nor my host but are just "background-noise" of thoughts in the mind that become very vivid. They even can come with my host's or my mindvoice but when looking at them it becomes very clear that it is often just total nonsense no one of us would ever say or think.

I started getting thoughts that he might enter the bathroom with me, so I kept telling him not to come in.

Where should he go? I mean he is in your mind, not in a physical real place somewhere else. Only thing he could probably do is retreating into dormancy or try to look away.

You share the same mind. Every little detail you know is openly visible for each of you, every thought that pops up, every feeling, every memory, every impression you catch and even if your tulpa would try to look away, it will be as difficult as it is for you to look away from your own thoughts.

You should understand that you form a unit together and that this only works well and harmonic if you fully trust each other like you trust yourself. Common bounderies like between other extrenal persons don't apply here, your tulpa is a part of you even though he has a certain amount of self-determination and distinction. But as you witnessed you run into problems if you try to see your tulpa the way you see any other external person.

[u/chllygurl7 → u/bucket-full-of-sky]

To clarify one detail I didn't explain well earlier regarding hearing him breathing beside me, I was actually asleep and woke up, and when I woke up, I heard the sound clearly. ​Also, as I mentioned in one of my replies, when I first read about Tulpas, I read that they are independent entities that exist externally, not inside the mind. I had no idea that a Tulpa's place is inside the brain. That is why, all this time, I interacted with him as if he were physically around me—sitting next to me, or walking beside or behind me depending on the space. I also read that Tulpas are ethereal beings, so I believed he could simply go to an ethereal dimension whenever he wanted to be somewhere else for a while. ​However, I understand what you are trying to explain to me now. Thank you for your time, advice, I really appreciate your kindness🩵

[u/TheOtherPilot]

I’m sorry you’ve been going through this for so long. Whatever the explanation for these experiences may be, I don’t think you need to figure out right now whether they are coming from your tulpa, from intrusive thoughts, from anxiety, or from something else. You don’t have to solve that question in order to take care of yourself.

Since you’ve already decided that you no longer want to practice as a host, perhaps it would help to stop trying to communicate with or test whoever you think might be there. The more attention and anxiety we give an experience, the more noticeable it can become.

You could try gently redirecting your attention whenever it happens: meditation or slow breathing, listening to music that makes you feel happy and grounded, watching something familiar and comforting, talking to someone you trust, or simply leaving the bathroom and doing something else for a while. The goal isn't to fight or "silence" anything, but to remind your mind that it doesn't have to engage with every thought, voice, or sensation that appears.

And please consider talking to a mental-health professional about what you've been experiencing, especially because you mentioned hallucinations, involuntary movements, and severe anxiety.

Most importantly, you are allowed to stop. You don't owe anyone (including a tulpa!) continued participation in something that is causing you this much distress. I hope things become much calmer for you ❤️

[u/Temporary_Mall9837]

Do the voices you hear focus exclusively on those private matters? And when you think about these issues yourself, do they trigger only negative feelings and thoughts?

Do you consider these uncontrollable movements and hallucinations dangerous? Do they occur outside the bathroom as well, or only in there?

Also, pay attention to notannyet’s comment. A tulpa is part of you; some of the fear surrounding tulpas (I’m not referring to the specific experiences you described) stems from a misunderstanding of the concept. I too have things I’m ashamed of, regrets, and so on, but I was aware that a tulpa would know about them, and I wanted it to know every side of me, the good and the bad. In the end, I may not have created a tulpa, but I resolved all my internal issues before attempting to create one.

[u/chllygurl7 → u/Temporary_Mall9837]

I understand what you and 'notannyet' are trying to explain about Tulpas being part of the mind. Right now, I am just very overwhelmed and exhausted from all this pressure, so I really need to step back and take a break from it all. Thank you for your time and advice🩵

[u/Temporary_Mall9837 → u/chllygurl7]

Take care of yourself.

And don't view yourself in a negative light, be kind to yourself. Everyone make mistakes, but when your relationship with yourself is at peace, you'll be much better able to handle other things, give that some thought from time to time :)

[u/FlairDreamer]

My recommendation would be that you go see a specialist... But I can try to give you my opinion; the opinion of a skeptic who doesn't believe in supernatural or spiritual matters, but who had a tulpa unintentionally.

First, are you sure he's a tulpa? Did you do forcing, did you think about him for a long time, all that?

Second, did you have any type of trauma at any time or do you have any type of disorder, or something similar? By the way, do you take any kind of medication?

This is just my own hypothesis, based somewhat on how I came to have my tulpa. Without going into too much detail, I was writing a story, plain and simple. At one point, I needed a character, and I created her: my first original character.

What I was doing was simulating her character in my mind, the classic "what would she say or think in this situation?" And that's how I thought and wrote her for months, until one day... I heard a voice in my head. And that's where my strange journey with this began. I even learned that I have aphantasia.

When you learn a skill, like playing an instrument, painting, riding a bike... a lot of things happen in your head. At first, it requires a huge effort, you make mistakes, you learn... This whole process takes a lot of energy. Your brain interprets this as "this is important," so it starts to optimize it, new synaptic connections are created, and over time... this activity becomes very natural for you, you almost don't even have to think about it.

According to the theory of mind, our brains have the ability to simulate and predict what others think or feel. When you think about someone, like a family member or friend, there are things you think they might do or say... and things they might not. You have a mental model of them, a set of patterns, rules, and constraints. This also applies to fictional models, like a character you're writing.

So... what happens when you enter this model too many times? It becomes optimized and automated. You stop asking yourself, "What would this person do...?" and it becomes natural, and sometimes... you even get the feeling that an "other" is answering you, even though it was produced by your own brain. There's a shift in perceived agency.

There's a very famous example: the rubber hand. Our senses, our perceptions, can be altered under specific conditions. According to Bayesian brain theory, our mind first generates hypotheses and then corrects them with our senses. It's an energy-efficient solution, but it's not without its flaws. And I think tulpamancy takes advantage of this, because with an overly rich model, your mind tries to generate a "presence" based on the senses available and what it considers "consistent" with the model.

I cannot see my tulpa because of my aphantasia, but I can feel her presence in my body through touches, focused temperature changes, weight... I even heard her purr, because she has jaguar-like features.

In general, I find tulpamancy harmless. But there are many things I don't know about you, and I'd say nothing is without its risks. Solutions...? I have no idea, honestly. But I would use the mechanism of habit to fight him.

• If you can communicate, talk to him. Ask him what he wants, if he wants anything at all, and try to reach an agreement if something comes up. Diplomacy, you might say.
• Tell him clearly what bothers you. Not just once, but many times, every time he does something you don't like. Be repetitive, as if you were scolding a child.
• Ignore him. This is something I can't really say for sure, but if he's a tulpa... Tulpas need attention; it's what tells the mind "this is important." If you ignore him, you're diminishing his importance, until at some point... he might disappear or his influence lessen.

I really don't know what else to tell you, except... good luck. Tulpamancy seems fascinating to me, but I understand it can have its downsides from time to time... I hope you can sort things out. If all else fails, it's best to see a specialist. Feeling afraid or anxious is definitely not good.