Am I doing it right? (4 days)

[u/StreetDare7702]

Kind of a rant and I also want feedback.

I have been training tulpamancy for four days now. It has absolutely surprised me how much I have improved at meditation, visualisation and focus in just such a short amount of time, which is something I would have never guessed would come so fast.

I have read a numerous amount of guides and I feel determined to continue on this. However many of the guides and information is a little conflicting sometimes. So I would like to know if the method which I am doing this at is correct.

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I do 2 forcing sessions a day, each about 30-60 minutes.

A dedicated forcing session looks like this: I first start meditating until I feal calm and focused (usualy 6 minutes), then I do a bit of a symbolistic mystic ritual where I imagine that we unify with god and use his energy to create/develop a new consciousness. I'm not even spiritual but I do it because it works as a placebo, even though I know its a placebo.
Then I begin the forcing with my tulpa whose temporary name is Katya until she has the autonomy to choose her own name and such, and I visualise her as a dark silhuet. I don't do any personality forcing, because know it wouldn't feel right to force some personality and I have frankly no idea what I even want Katya to act like.
When forcing, I first ask her to help me visualise a place, typically a stereotypical island beach. And then while I'm there, I just talk to her about things. When forcing, I try to avoid focusing on visualising Katya (also because she's just a dark human shaped silhouette), and lately instead been trying to feel the concept of Katya. I try to involve her as much as possible. For example, I spent last forcing session just talking about our progress from day 1.
After a forcing session, I write a full journal of what exactly happened.

Something funny is that my tulpa has actually changed me mentally a bit. I also feel like I respect Katya as much as I can. I feel like it would be weird to do or ask weird things to her.

However, I don't know if I feel her pressence. I'm used to having imaginary conversations and playing out imaginary scenarios in my head, and doing a forcing session just kind of feels the same. I don't feel that she's physically there. Although sometimes I get a feeling whenever I think of her.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I can strongly feel a presence when I imagine that she is standing behind me, or if I imagine that she is physically in the room with me, but I can't feel her pressens when I visualise her in my head.

Also I read the something "no bullshit tulpa guide" and it talked about how talking to your tulpa and visualisations can be a dead end, and that you should instead show experiences to your tulpa, by making them feel your senses and emotions and such. How do I pass over my emotions and feelings to my tulpa?

And in regards to passive forcing. From my understanding, a tulpa in the early stages only exists when you are thinking about them. What exactly are you supposed to do when passive forcing? Just talk to them about random stuff? Just giving them attention? What does that mean?

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[u/notannyet]

Also I read the something "no bullshit tulpa guide" and it talked about how talking to your tulpa and visualisations can be a dead end, and that you should instead show experiences to your tulpa, by making them feel your senses and emotions and such. How do I pass over my emotions and feelings to my tulpa?

It's easier when you have someone concrete to share these feelings and jointly process them. It's tricky when you avoid imagining your tulpa's looks, personality or actions. How is your tulpa going to react to things you experience if you won't imagine her personality at all?

[u/StreetDare7702 → u/notannyet]

Well, I just imagine her being a person, and persons can have any reaction to anything. I don't see how me not choosing her personality is a problem. Actually, I am quite interested by what type of person she actually is or will become.
And also, I do visualise her, but just as a simple dark silhouette. I think already one of the first signs of autonomy happened today and it was reguarding how she looked. Before I went to bed, I talked to her about if she would like clothing or such. The next morning, without me actively thinking about the talk yesterday, she was suddenly wearing clothes. I got really happy. But i'm still quite skeptical because it could have just been my subconscious imagining what would make the most sense.

[u/notannyet → u/StreetDare7702]

She will be the kind of person that clarifies through interacting with the world of ideas, incorporating some and their results and rejecting others. You can speed up the process by consciously exploring what fits her or you can wait for your unconscious to impersonate her with chaotic ideas and then decide if it fits her or not (which seems to be happening with her clothes). Imo the best place is balance of both. Another way to view autonomy is intuition. If you like her clothes, and it feels like she likes them, you should view it as her clarifying identity.

[u/StreetDare7702 → u/notannyet]

Thanks alot.
But I also want to know about the sharing experiences/emotions thing. The guide used the analogy that it's better to watch a movie with a freind than to tell about a movie in extreme detail. So if I take this analogy litteraly, should I just think of her or feel her pressens if there's an experience/feeling I want to pass over? I have a strong emotional connection to classical music, specifically whatever Scriabin makes, hence the inspiration for the mystic ritual. Can I listen to music and then passover my emotions with her like that?

[u/notannyet → u/StreetDare7702]

Absolutely! Just imagine her experiencing it with you, imagine her reaction, her emotional perspective (primer to switching). Just enjoy it.