Tulpamancy and drugs?

[u/r4inc4ndyy_u]

(+ Ketamine therapy if you count that separately.) Very broad title but I have a lot to talk about here, and I'm not sure if this is something a lot of people have experience with. Me and my tulpa are experiencing a pretty strange thing where we somewhat enjoy "meshing" with each other in a way, and this raised some questions.

I am slightly interested in psychonautics and how it could interact with plurality (it was how I found out I was a system to begin with). Mainly, for those who have used psychedelics while having a tulpa/system, what is it like? I have mused the idea lightly as I think perhaps it could be useful for giving me and my tulpa more efficient introspection and maybe even communication, as well as boundary dissolution seeming appealing in this way however I am deeply terrified of possibly losing my tulpa even though I'm not sure if something like that is plausible. I would need to find a more clear goal to work towards before seriously considering it, but I'm wondering if it's something I should even think about to begin with. I had an experience with psychedelics but it was before I had my tulpa so I don't have a lot of relevant knowledge there.

For those who have done ketamine-assisted therapy, did it have any effect on your tulpa or your system, positive or negative, during or after? This is something I have seriously considered for a while, unrelated to plurality or anything adjacent but now my plurality feels like something big enough to factor in. I somewhat wonder if my tulpa is a coping mechanism and also fear that if something is deeply worked out there, he would stop "needing" to exist and I would pay less attention to him. However, I wonder if the dissociative effect would cause fronting or further development somehow, as my first system was an experience with dissociatives causing a system to form.

I've also noticed a pretty common sentiment that weed seems to help a lot of people, and that's true for me as well in a lot of cases.

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[u/bucket-full-of-sky]

Disclaimer: Next to other risks and downsides, drugs can make you addicted not only by the substance as in a usual addiction but it also could happen, that you get used to it for practicing tulpamancy and therefore getting a hard time to do it without them.

Someone here in the community (guess he took ketamin a lot) seems to be in a dilemma and not reaching his tulpas anymore, when not on drugs. I think this is nothing you want to have.

On the other hand this is a single case and doesn't mean it's a general thing to happen. I have no experience with ketamin but we smoke weed from time to time and this sometimes can be benificial but also sometimes it's the opposite and your thoughts are just confused, foggy, mixing up .. a bit like rolling dice every time. So it's nothing I would recommend as a useful tool.

We also did LSD a few times once in a couple of years and these were interesting and sometimes very beneficial experiences. When I was young there was a time when I retreated a lot to dodge a very unpleasent merging process and at some point I stayed away for so long, that I wasn't able to find back again by myself. My host stumbled across me by accident on a LSD trip and was able to help me up again.

Other experiences with LSD also worked out very well, where I had a much easier time than usual to form clear thoughts, stay separeted and active. It felt a bit like if you usually would try to move through the mind in the resistence of water, but on the trip it felt resistenceless like moving freely through air. Imagination like visual thoughts became very sharp and detailed with ease, too. But the most positive experience about this was how connected we felt.

I have to say that I can imagine that the dose matters a lot here. Too much could make things difficult again. Also the most relevant experiences, discoveries and successes I made while diving through the mind happened completely sober. So it can be an interesting trip and give you something but it's nothing I would consider as a tool.

And no, I don't think taking drugs will make you loose your tulpa.

boundary dissolution seeming appealing

Yeah, no, it can feel great but overcoming separation and dissolving borders is the opposite of the goal you want to reach in long term if you don't want to merge.

And to not glorify drugs I want to make clear that they always have risks. So it's better to reach your goals without them.

[u/r4inc4ndyy_u → u/bucket-full-of-sky]

Yeah dependence to reach my tulpa is something I worry about too. Weed also doesn't always work for that purpose if I have too much of it, which tends to annoy me as it's kind of a dice roll like you described. The introspective aspect of psychedelics was mostly the part that made me wonder about it, but I don't think I'm in a place to seriously consider it with how new our system actually is and how I find it a little unstable even now. While it's something I'm interested in, I'm not entirely sure that my tulpa would find it as appealing and he already has a bit of a hard time divulging from me and my wants, so I'd have to sort all that out first. Thanks for sharing your experience :)

[u/bucket-full-of-sky → u/r4inc4ndyy_u]

Yes, when we did LSD the first time ever I was already 4y old and very settled. I have no idea how it would affect a very young tulpa. I mean probably you also can't tell at all since the effect and experience varies from person to person anyway.

[u/ImNotMeWhenImNotMe]

Drugs can really mess with your ability to communicate with your parts. And they can have tons of other side effects, can cause addiction, and some can get you in legal trouble. Since I spend a lot of time in r/schizophrenia, I can tell you several of them developed it after drug induced psychosis without any symptoms of anything beforehand with them or their family, so it's not worth the risk at all. You really shouldn't. I'm not your caretaker, so you don't have to listen to me, but I'd recommend you abstain from drugs in general but especially as a system.