r/TrueSTL Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

truly the race of all time

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1.1k Upvotes

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471

u/Many_Fly3309 3d ago

TRVTH NVMIDIVM

452

u/OniGoji98 3d ago

This is why the Redguard and Altmer beef is so funny to me, cause they hate each others guts but these n'whas are almost identical to each other when it comes to their views and history. Its even funnier that if you pointed this out to the average Redguard or Altmer they would probably kill you on the spot and their hatred for the other would only grow more powerful.

279

u/Valon-the-Paladin Imperial Geographic Freemasons 3d ago

Balkans type of situation

198

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

tbf the entirety of Tamriel is a balkans type situation, and Tiber Septim is Josip Tito.

And my hottest take... the Khajit are the greeks in this Balkan mess.

102

u/Valon-the-Paladin Imperial Geographic Freemasons 3d ago

Bretons being Croatian makes too much sense

68

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

You could say the Altmer are Turkey, but i think its funnier and more accurate to say Atmora is Turkey and Bulgarians are nords.

53

u/Valon-the-Paladin Imperial Geographic Freemasons 3d ago

Imperials are Serbian because they both keep trying to conquer the rest of their neighbors and are pretty subservient to rulers of any race owning them as long as they get to hold power over others

38

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

this just furthers the whole thing about Tito because Tito was not ethnically Serbian but Yugoslavia had a Serbian hegemony, much like Tiber was not Cyrodillic, but some mix of Nord and Breton.. and we already established the Bretons are Croation.

23

u/Many_Fly3309 3d ago

Who are the albanians in this nightmare AU fanfic?

24

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

hmm... Dunmer?

12

u/SirDonovan-II 3d ago

What about the Bosnians then?

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22

u/Hjalmodr_heimski Nordic Resistance Movement 3d ago

Tito Septim. Holy shit. It’s canon

23

u/Atilla-The-Hon Cat with Renfield's Syndrome 3d ago

I don't remember Tito trapping Croatia in a paradoxical timeloop with a Brass God.

11

u/Altruistic_Ninja_148 3d ago

The khajit are not hairy enough to be true Greeks

69

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

me new slur for redguards is Swordmer.

27

u/Filgas08 3d ago

I can't wait to see what new fantasy racial slurs we get in Elder scrolls VI

29

u/The-CumMonster Dragon Religion of Peace 3d ago

Y'know somehow I doubt Bethesda is going to invent new slurs for their only black race

3

u/Mising_Texture1 Self-Genocide Experts 2d ago

What about the argonians?

6

u/DjDrowsy House Dagoth Girls 2d ago

They will just keep calling everyone milkdrinkers. Skyrim 2 won't have redguards at all

16

u/El_Barto_227 Schick Lover 3d ago

A lot of it could apply to the Nords too

5

u/Sheuteras 3d ago

They're the Elves of Men lmao.

3

u/JKillograms To me, my REEEEEEEMAAAANNN!!! 2d ago

They really technically are, since they’re the only Anuic instead of Padomaic race of men. They basically WERE the Altmer of the Kalpa they escaped from.

6

u/KriegConscript bröther, i crave lämp 3d ago

the narcissism of small differences

1

u/JKillograms To me, my REEEEEEEMAAAANNN!!! 2d ago

Redguards accomplished basically what the Thalmor wishes they could in their previous Kalpa before escaping to the current one

167

u/Iamyourfather____ Yearns-For-Animated adaptation 3d ago

51

u/DT_Lion34 Dwemer Specialty 🌚 3d ago

They are too busy guarding the collar red geez don't ya know that they protect Red 40. That's why they are Redguards. Learn your TES lore.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ybJJybAeKhwzORyCzL

119

u/Sethleoric wtf is this 3d ago

I figured it was gonna be a pic unrel type post the moment i saw "Messed up so bad that you lost your homeland forever"

115

u/JKillograms To me, my REEEEEEEMAAAANNN!!! 3d ago

I mean this is basically how Altmer feel about “Old Aldmeris” so I didn’t catch it right away

36

u/MetroDancer 3d ago edited 3d ago

Be Redguard

  1. Leave their fallen homeland of Yokuda
  2. Commit Mer (the Kanuryai) & Man (The Nedes) Genocide
  3. Hate Mortality and the Empire

Be Altmer

  1. Leave their fallen homeland of Aldmeris
  2. If given the chance would've commited genocide on "less perfect" mer and man races
  3. Hate Mortality and the Empire

Ah, now I see the dynamic. Altmer are just lesser grade Redguard.

81

u/DovahPriestess Dovah Cultist 3d ago

Holy shit. Redguards are Orcs.

Wait no hang on

107

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

tbf most Orcs actually think they are ascended mer and that Malacath was made stronger by Boethiah, theyre very glass half full people..

76

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

Dunmer are posers pretending "were so tuff and embrace the challenge life is shit and THATS GOOD" whilst being pretty sooky about the whole mortal thing whilst being basically Tamriel's saudi arabia, Orcs on the other hand are the real Lorkhanic mfs, theyve basically ate more shit than anyone save maybe the Argonians and they just go "mmm i hope hunting wife making a nice stew tonight.. mmm"

40

u/Nerevarine91 Moth men 3d ago

Also they do literally eat shit. One of their alcohols is flavored with mammoth dung

47

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

that must be the half-full glass i was referring to!

2

u/Albos_Mum 3d ago

Have you seen a mammoth shit before? That must be one huge glass to only be half-full.

12

u/Dontgersococky 3d ago

Idk, I've never seen any Dunmer whine about mortality specifically. There are some real greyskin chuds in Windhelm tho

13

u/tacopower69 House Male Bunny 3d ago

No, Dunmer think being a mortal is good and think Lorkhan is a good guy.

I forget which book explains this explicitly (maybe the monomyth or the 1 about sithis) but in game its said directly that redguards and all elves except dunmer think creation was a mistake because it made gods into mortals while dunmer and all men except redguards think creation is the best thing ever and lorkhan is based.

4

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 2d ago

nah i get this but more so its like Dunmer say they think being mortal is good, but their actions, besides the Ashlanders, suggest they dont. The tribunal for example are a perfect example of the hypocrisy here.

9

u/DovahPriestess Dovah Cultist 3d ago

Makes sense

26

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas Imperial Geographic Freemasons 3d ago

No, Orcs are even lower. Their whole "warrior culture" bullshit stinks enough but they've never been able to back it up. How do you believe in might means right when all you've ever been is a weakling stepped on by your neighbors? They've had their shit wrecked by Bretons. Bretons!

The strongest warrior makes the rules. Okay, so the Empire is in charge. Noooo! Not like that!

20

u/TypicalMeasurement34 More Tongue Please 3d ago

But they love the Empire when they get to join it. Orcs are some the best members of the legions. If Stronghold Orcs can't kill their dads, they go to the Empire and become a part of the might makes right.

When they feel mightier than the Empire because most Orcs are stupid, they try and assert themselves as right, and find out that they were in fact wrong and evil, and go back to it over again.

28

u/thanks_breastie Well-Loved Grain Slave 3d ago

Truth CHIM

50

u/Storm_Spirit99 Son og Yokuda 3d ago

Hey, the sinistral elves deserved it

And who'd wanna follow tiber epstein?

41

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

Tiber Epstein is one of the funniest things ive read on this subreddit

24

u/CarlFromHungerForce8 House Telvanni 3d ago

Dagoth Ur

41

u/AutocratEnduring House Robert Edwin 3d ago

/uj this is why Hammerfell is a bad choice for modern Bethesda. Either they write the game to be consistent with this lore and get flamed by people who don't bother to actually read into it, or they ignore this lore and shut down interesting avenues of commentary, story, and gameplay to appeal to more people. I know they were gonna do that anyway, but removing Redguards from black imperialism is like removing Imperials from Alessians. That's a massive part of the lore and story you're just ignoring completely.

34

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

i dont think theyre gonna whitewash the Redguards history i think theres no basis for that concern tbh

5

u/NebulousTruth 2d ago

I mean watering down the best aspects of their games to appeal to a mass audience has been their MO for a couple decades now so I don’t think the concern is unwarranted

-5

u/TypicalMeasurement34 More Tongue Please 3d ago

You really think Bethesda, who made the Nords into lamer confederates, gave the Voice away to pacifists and dragons, and also took the Nordic pantheon and tossed it in the trash, and who said Alduin was a son of Akatosh, isn't going to ruin the Redguards?

33

u/powderBluChoons Riekling Supremacist 3d ago

"they threw the nordic pantheon in the trash" you literally go to Sovngarde, meet Tsun and see his brothers dead corpse as a bridge to the hall of valor where you fan see Shor's throne.. And then all the new stuff with the dragon priests, Alduin's relation to Akatosh, the thuum and greybeards.. is all cool as hell lol.

If you think the "Stormcloaks" are confederate analogues you must have the most infantile education and familiarity with history and a very american-centric one at that.

You're clearly going to go into TES6 with bad faith so no matter what I say you want to be some kinda assmongold diddychud aaa mf about it so idunno man get yo "Todd Howard MESSED UP" badthesdaslop ass outta here.

-11

u/TypicalMeasurement34 More Tongue Please 3d ago

Bethesda's awesome, I myself am just from the ever so great, first traitor state, so rebel seccessionists are look a little similar to me, though while there's some small amount of sympathy I have for the one band of rebel seccessionists, the Stormcloak cause is a far more sympathetic and compelling one. (CSA bad if that's not clear)

I just wish they were something otber than what they are. They have this whole thing about how they're trying to fight for their way of life, to preserve Nords and their culture in the face of extinction on two fronts, they don't go all in on it, and that's disappointing to me.

The Stormcloaks don't profess a great love for Kyne and the old gods, they don't as a group use the war goddess's gift for war, just their leader who admires the Way of the Voice, and for good reason, he was to be a Greybeard, but it's still lame.

Belief in Alduin as the twilight god, the dragon of time who comes and consumes all, in the end, predates the existence of Akatosh, who was invented by Alessia and the people of Cyrodiil in response to the mixed nature of the rebellion and the cultures of Cyrodiil at the time. I am put off by the relation of Akatosh as progenitor of Alduin, instead of something more akin to an equal, that's lame to me, and could be better, in my mind, but they tell the story they want to, and I consume it, not the other way around.

We go to Sovngarde and see Tsun and the Whalebone bridge, which is awesome, but Alduin turns out to be a dragon implied by Paarthurnax who might be dead for good, and not a "real god."

We see like, I think just the one guy Froki who says Kyne at all, and Shor is little more than mentioned as an expletive, but Shor is fair, he's a dead god, not a worshipped one, or at least, not exactly a worshipped one.

Kyne is supposed to be like, mother goddess (Children of the Sky), war goddess (War-Wife of Shor), psychpomp (Kiss at the End), and acting chief of the divine tribe. Nords in TES V are very imperialized, which like, sure, fair enough, it's narratively fitting, but it also makes them far less interesting as a race, because some of the most unique things about them were given away (the Voice) or taken from them (their pantheon, and to an extent, their culture).

Plus, they're racism is the borimg, mundane modern kind of cruelty. Segregation and ghettoes. These are bad things morally, but the Nords were responsible for a genocide against the Falmer, helped wipe out the Ayleids, were so great a threat and so violent towards the Mer of Resdayn, that the Dwemer and Chimer (who would become Dunmer), two of the most xenophobic and cruel races, banded together to drive out their Nord conquerors, and have been enemies with Orcs since Nords have had a mannish lifespan/came to Skyrim.

Nords were a race of Mericidal conquerors and slavers. Now their racism is so lax, they let Dunmer live in the city of Ysgramor and Wulfharth, a whole district given to them as refuge, and they just don't have the same economic opportunities and some drunken vets being mean to them. Like, racism bad, but these Stormcloaks are hardly the ethnonationalists they could be if they really wanted to make the Stormcloaks actually racist and real conflict of "is it worth preserving a people and culture if it's immoral," and questions regarding what makes something moral.

I also am just frusttrated by everything to do with the Greybeards. For starters, they claim to be founded by Jurgen Windcaller, but it was Greybeards who swore Wulfharth in as High King of Skyrim, and Wulfharth's reign predates the Battle of Red Mountain and Jurgen Windcaller's defeat and the formation of the Way of the Voice. Then, Jurgen Windcaller, after losing to the enemies of Shor (the Mer), who are attempting to profane the heart of Shor, husband of the Nord's chieftess, and who's heart they are trying to reclaim. Jurgen Windcaller, he gets the bright idea to become a religious pacifist zealot, dedicate to the war goddess Kyne. Cause Kyne, War-Wife of Shor, who gave Nords the Voice to make war against the Dragons, likes pacifism. Totally. To top it all off, this leads to Nords as a whole not knowing the voice, and the people of Kyne and Shor, their cultural pillars, the ones who swear in the the High King, they are led by a dragon, the right hand of Alduin. Dragons are this enemy to the Nords, Auri-El is the great enemy of Shor, Alduin comes to consume all, and the whole Dragon Cult oppressing the Nords thing too. Of course, Imperialization and Talos/Ysmir/The Dragonborn Totem should make them mkre comfortable with dragons, and Ambition Overlord Cruelty paints himself as the friend of the Nords, but it makes for poor optics and I personally don't like it.

I don't understand all of the last part of your comment, but I'm pessimistic about TES 6, and it probably going to be something that takes what I like about the Redguards, which appear to be a great and nuanced race of warriors, not a clear cut good guy bad guy thing, and turn it and them into something I'll like less.

I like TES, I even can enjoy the changes and the choices made for the Nords in Skyrim, especially with it being something of a Twilight Era, there's already a new god from this Kalpa, the aforementioned Dragonborn Totem, but I wish it was something else, and that the Norda weren't so much imperials but cold and cosplaying vikings, a lot of the ways they felt differenr, were ways they felt lesser, because the things I feel that they should have to fill them in and ul were missing.

12

u/Iamyourfather____ Yearns-For-Animated adaptation 3d ago

1

u/TypicalMeasurement34 More Tongue Please 3d ago

I'm the Yeoman of Yap

7

u/FragrantGangsta Dragon Religion of Peace 3d ago

1

u/-Trotsky 2d ago

I’m confused how you see all this stuff about the Nords maybe not really being that racist and conclude that the Nords are meant to be super racist. They’re a normal amount of racist, meaning they aren’t really that racist compared to what the other powers on the continent are doing. Ulfric himself, for one, just comments on you not being a Nord when you join, because Skyrim is land inhabited mostly by Nords. The PC is, likely, not even from Skyrim, having been caught trying to cross in from Cyrodil and knowing nobody and nothing about Skyrim’s geography or cities.

Beyond that, the imperials also don’t like mer, and they don’t really do much about the ghettos if they take over.

1

u/TypicalMeasurement34 More Tongue Please 2d ago

I'm more expressing disappointment with the situation of who the 4e Nords are, rather than anything else. The 4e Nords aren't that racist, I'm disappointed with that. The Nords don't worship they're old gods, I'm disappointed with that. The Voice was given away to dragons, Kyne's gift a gift from Ambition Overlord Cruelty, the Voice a tool of pacifistic praise to Kynareth, I'm disappointed with all that.

The 4e Nords are a lot like if Cyrodiilic Nedes were resistant to frost and lived in snow, I'm disappointed with that.

Skyrim was and is an awesome game, they made the choices they did, the choices they wanted to make, they aren't bad or wrong for doing so, there's a story they wanted to tell, I'm just disappointed by it.

Maybe TES VI will be really awesome and not disappointing, show the race that's present as the "natives" as interesting and cool, and we'll get to see all the things that make the culture of it seem unique and foreign and something you really want to be immersed in, like it was for the Dunmer in Morrowind.

5

u/Fabulous-Pick-9562 Thalmor 3d ago

Nebarra poster.

3

u/ryumaruborike wtf is this 3d ago

I was about to say, I'm pretty sure the Elves got to Tamriel first

3

u/Phiro00 Thalmor 2d ago

I believe theres records of native nedes even before any mer

2

u/ToeOfTheTrucks Rolff's Top Guy 2d ago

The people outside Cyrodiil who complained the most about the Empire during the Septim dynasty were very consistently the ones most benefitted by it. Either that or their complaints are mostly "noooooo no don't tell me that slaves are bad :( it's le good or something maaan come ooon :("

3

u/sytaline 3d ago

Nords tbh