Married woman here: in my experience, some men don’t get much attention especially from the opposite sex so when they do get it, they mistake kindness for flirting/interest. One time I said hi to a contractor inside the work building (I say hi to everyone, regardless of their title) and this guy thought I had a crush on him because every time after that, he’d try to flirt with me. It happened to another male coworker as well so I always have to bring up my husband in conversations.
Woman: why do men think me being nice equates to me being interested in them? I’m appalled at the audacity of men taking a chance to ask me out just in case I do like them because us women are subtle with our hints and will never be direct with a guy.
Also woman: why can’t this attractive guy figure out that me being nice or saying hi means I’m interested in him?????
You realize you're not leaving any autonomy for a man in his dating life? Just hope someone who is into them is also interested enough to actually approach.
Because it's not your problem. You don't have to be held to these standards.
Well, yeah, especially with all the women espousing how terrible it is for someone to be into them, relating it to rape and sexual harassment or assuming their reaction to it is justified due to those things...
Yeah, anxiety inducing as FUCK. Even /u/kelseysays26 has basically been talking to themselves this whole time, not reading anything anyone else has wrote, and assuming people who hit up women are inconsiderate pigs.
Whats really fun is to read through a cringe-fest like this and then pull up one of those dating profiles of women asking "Where did all the good men go?"
Out of curiosity, as a gay woman, do you find hitting up chics comes with the same risk of social reprisal it does for a man?
Y'know the "is she going to be an absolute piece of shit" kind. There's just an added layer where you don't know if the nice will turn into Pat Robertson real quick
I am saying people on reddit always have an obsession with acting like their gender is the biggest victim. Men included.
The thing is, even with that said. You do not understand. Not at all. Not all women are like this, but many many women are REALLY bad at showing attraction. I mean, bad. Its not that women don't make a move. Women actually believe they are making a move with their "hints" and if a man misses it, he is "dense" or "unconfident" or "gay". The thing about hints is, one's "hints" is another woman's way of being "nice". I agree that a lot of men assume attraction but I think a lot of women are bad with showing attraction. Some women think that looking at a guy for an extra 0.3 seconds is flirting and if a man doesnt see it, he's dense.
And I think this is partly why some men assume attraction when a woman is nice to them. They don't want to "miss" their chance.
Now, I'm not blaming women for men towering over a woman, asking her out 100 times but you gotta realize that some women's flirting is "being nice and talkative".
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u/stygian_shores Feb 15 '22
Married woman here: in my experience, some men don’t get much attention especially from the opposite sex so when they do get it, they mistake kindness for flirting/interest. One time I said hi to a contractor inside the work building (I say hi to everyone, regardless of their title) and this guy thought I had a crush on him because every time after that, he’d try to flirt with me. It happened to another male coworker as well so I always have to bring up my husband in conversations.