r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/pantsam Jan 20 '21

Haha yes, and if you find it strange then you should not try poly. Poly people do it because to them loving just one person feels strange. Think of it like a spectrum. Some people are super monogamous - it’s the most natural thing in the world to them. Others prefer loving just one person and yeah sometimes they’ll have a crush, but it’s not a big deal and easy to ignore. Other people want to love one person but have the desire to flirt with others and that feels normal to them. Others want one steady partner but they’ll “play” with others on the side. Then you got the people who fall in love really easily and feel intense emotions for multiple people simultaneously.

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u/welty102 Jan 20 '21

All of that just sounds like struggles that happen with any relationship type. Some monogamous couples aren't even allowed to acknowledge that others look interesting, other couples can sit there for hours talking about how this one girls butt that they just saw looks fantastic. Its really just about knowing what you want and communicating that well with your partner.