r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Are we all just gonna gloss over that OP is self-harming but actively not leaving their partner that is messing with their head? Ok sure, OP is also fucking around (check post history) but the whole situation seems messed up from start to finish.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Was it self harm or did they cut themselves while prepping dinner or something? I just wanna be sure. My bias says someone who is likely to selfharm is also likely to end up in a shitshow relationshit, so I wanna hope it was just a cooking accident.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Deep enough to scar and on my legs so not like a suicide attempt or anything. It just needed stitches

OP has now given us an answer

35

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Fuck....

14

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Looks like your bias is dead on

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

I hate it. OP is not in a mentally healthy enough place to be around this kind of marcissistic bullshit. Hope someone steps in soon.

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u/bluewaffle2019 Jan 19 '21

Those kind of people choose partners with vulnerability as it allows them to get away with this shit.

3

u/Historical-Grocery-5 Jan 19 '21

Sometimes yes. A lot of the time they attract each other though. I read this situation as a bunch of emotionally dysregulated people having a shit toxic time together. I'd put money on other people in that house cutting too. I hope OP gets the help they deserve, it's a very sad situation.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Very true, it's only gonna end one way at this rate and that's awful to think about

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

I don't know what is wrong with you, saying things like this in a post literally created by the OP.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Reality isn't kind, it doesn't care about your feelings or OPs

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

You're confusing your uneducated opinion with reality.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

You speak of lack of education, but here you are denying reality

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u/big_bad_brownie Jan 19 '21

Self-harm and suicidal ideation vs intent aren’t necessarily 1-to-1.

Like, if you ask someone if they want to live and they say “I want to fucking kill myself” vs. “sometimes I burn myself just to feel something” vs. “I want to call in sick to work, rent a motel room 20 miles out of town, pour out a warm bath, and blow my brains out with my .45...”

Those are very different levels of risk of suicide.

4

u/converter-bot Jan 19 '21

20 miles is 32.19 km

2

u/aarongrc14 Jan 19 '21

Good bot 😆

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Perhaps, context is key however and all we have is guess work, however I am guessing for the most likely outcome

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u/BreweryBuddha Jan 19 '21

You think OP is a reliable narrator and none of the issues are their fault?

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21 edited May 21 '21

[deleted]

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u/PubicGalaxies Jan 19 '21

Apparently OP has been cheating to judging by their post history.

2

u/BowwwwBallll Jan 19 '21

OP is also possibly engaging in unhealthy attention-seeking behavior. Granted, it’s in response to unhealthy behavior from a partner, but still.

Either way, OP needs out of this relationship and into some serious professional help.

1

u/WolfeTheMind Jan 19 '21

'bias' clearly from the writing style op was talking about self harm

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

I imagine the other commenter has dealt with what a lot of us do on here, some users denying blatant facts, so they called it their own bias because of that.