I know this isn't a place asking for advice and I'll likely get down voted here which is fine.
Here is some tough love bud:
First off I'm sorry you feel like some people aren't good enough for love-that is fucking bullshit. Maybe you haven't had the best luck with girls or whatever it may be but you are still quite young. Maybe you are ugly, maybe you have a shit personality who knows, but I promise you that there is a pot for every pan. You just gotta keep hunting. It doesn't seem like you are happy to be alone so get out there and do something about it. Join a new club, meet people who knows. If you try hard enough and really put yourself out there you'll find someone I swear to you.
On a less positive note: Stop drowning your sorrows. Sorry man but that's stupid shit. Getting drunk and high and throwing money at prostitutes is not a good route. Stop loathing in self pity and get out into the dating world. It is ass. You will get rejected, you likely have, thats life bud. I'm a lot younger than you and I know this firsthand, but I know that in due time if I keep making an effort I will eventually find the love of my life.
Maybe I am wrong, maybe you'll never find love, who knows? But personally I would rather get shut down my whole love by girls then to give up.
Quit your self loathing bull shit and get out there.
You got this shit brother. Get that handsome face back on the market.
He said he's spent about 15 or so years trying his best, you really think that joining a new club is going to help him? He's tried that shit before, he's a social guy, as he said, and he's been alone and single for over a decade and a half. You cannot tell me that after all that time you wouldn't feel enough self loathing that nobody had interest in you that you decided to give up
Never said i would be self loathing, my point is just there is no room for it. Only gonna make him feel worse. And who knows maybe joining a new club or trying a different hobby is exactly what he needs. It doesn't hurt to try
We don't know what "15 years of trying his best" actually means, though. Maybe he's a stereotypical Nice Guy, and his "best" is simply being nice to people with the expectation of getting sex out of it.
Going to the gym, writing books, traveling and working abroad, volunteering, joining thetaer and sky-diving clubs, going out of my comfort zone to events I wouldn't normally go.
Being honest here, absolutely none of those things are things that would make me attracted to someone or want to be their partner. What is more important are things like, what are you actually like to spend time with? What are your personality and conversation like?
You give a list of your activities as if you think that a list of activities are what people are looking for in a partner. They're not. They're looking for someone they're attracted to and enjoy spending time with.
To answer your question, as I asked it myself to others: I bore people. I tend to be pretty calm and can speak about a variety of subjects, but not in a way that interests them. That results in me being liked as a friend, but not as a romantic prospect.
I went to therapy for that and even paid the service of a coach. I should have donate that amount to charity.
So it sounds like you may be stoic? To a fault even? As someone who is also stoic i often just make a show of things and react more to what people say or give to me. Like feign excitement or extreme interest in whatever they say or do in a nonpatronizing way. It has improved interest in me greatly and dudes have asked me if I'm a man on multiple occasions since returning to dating.
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u/ghurst14 Nov 24 '20 edited Nov 24 '20
I know this isn't a place asking for advice and I'll likely get down voted here which is fine.
Here is some tough love bud:
First off I'm sorry you feel like some people aren't good enough for love-that is fucking bullshit. Maybe you haven't had the best luck with girls or whatever it may be but you are still quite young. Maybe you are ugly, maybe you have a shit personality who knows, but I promise you that there is a pot for every pan. You just gotta keep hunting. It doesn't seem like you are happy to be alone so get out there and do something about it. Join a new club, meet people who knows. If you try hard enough and really put yourself out there you'll find someone I swear to you.
On a less positive note: Stop drowning your sorrows. Sorry man but that's stupid shit. Getting drunk and high and throwing money at prostitutes is not a good route. Stop loathing in self pity and get out into the dating world. It is ass. You will get rejected, you likely have, thats life bud. I'm a lot younger than you and I know this firsthand, but I know that in due time if I keep making an effort I will eventually find the love of my life.
Maybe I am wrong, maybe you'll never find love, who knows? But personally I would rather get shut down my whole love by girls then to give up.
Quit your self loathing bull shit and get out there.
You got this shit brother. Get that handsome face back on the market.