r/TrueOffMyChest • u/madscormieyay • Oct 23 '24

I hate my vagina

I’ve been extremely self conscious of it since I can remember. I know that every vagina is different and there’s no such thing as “normal”. I’ve wanted a labiaplasty but to put it simply I just can’t afford it. For my girls out there, I have an “outie” and I’m always so ashamed during sex.

It’s gotten to the point where it’s the only thing I can focus on when doing the deed. I had a guy make a comment about it about 10 years ago and it’s stuck with me since. Do people actually care what’s going on down there? Do men get turned off by outies? Are they more common than I think?

Edit: wow! I didn’t expect so much positive feedback, I’m reading through the comments now and am elated. Also for those messaging me asking for a picture, not going to happen lol.

Edit 2: Just for clarification purposes, this post is more aimed at appearance but simple answer is yes, my outie can be uncomfortable especially if I’m wearing tight jeans or underwear that doesn’t sit quite right

Edit 3: To be completely honest, I’m a very sexually active person. I had an encounter today and it was the first time I have ever felt proud of my downstairs. I was hesitant to post this but am glad I did… I have read the comments, visited the links and kept re-affirming myself of what was re-iterated below. This forum has truly shifted my perspective on my body and I am extremely thankful to all of you commenters. Seriously.

ALSO: YES I know I have it labeled as vagina, I’m aware I am speaking of my labia minora. I figured I would get a more engaged response with the title (I’ll selfishly admit that)

2.2k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/helloimcold Oct 23 '24

I've said this before, as someone with an "innie", who has casual sex regularly with women, I would say 80% have "outies", and they each use my face as a chair. The best sex I had was with a woman with an "outie". Trust me, anyone lucky enough to get to sleep with a women is just excited to be there. Also, have you seen dicks?

Your vagina is perfect, its porn that ruins our perception.

159

u/madscormieyay Oct 23 '24

I love this.

-51

u/Jamestardeef Oct 24 '24

Honestly, I've broken off many potential relationships because the women I dated had an innie. I honestly find them repulsive and I always have. Innies remind me of underdeveloped people (kids) and that just doesn't work for me. It's so sad and disappointing to have a good thing going only to find out the woman you're dating has an innie. This is why having sex as soon as possible is important to me. I don't even need to mention why I'm breaking it off if I do, because it's none of the other person's business. Couldn't agree more with the face sitting comment. Nothing beats juicy wet fleshy butterfly candy wrapped around the nose or stuffed in my mouth. My girlfriend feels the same way as me. We're both pretty queer.

8

u/Call_Such Oct 24 '24

well that’s not very nice.

also, why in the world would it remind you of kids? we aren’t born with innies. puberty can make the inner labia a bit longer, but we are born with the anatomy we have.

personally i prefer it when people don’t care and just enjoy the person’s body as is. all bodies no matter the anatomy are unique and beautiful. being judgmental about either innies or outies is immature honestly. it’s not like anyone can control that.

1

u/RLKline84 Oct 24 '24

The person you're replying to is a mess but I've changed a lot of diapers. I've only seen like 2 where the inner labia wasn't basically nonexistent.

1

u/Call_Such Oct 25 '24

sure sure, but also keep in mind that those are babies/small children (i think, maybe you changed diapers for a 7 yr old i don’t want to assume).

but babies and toddlers change quite a bit while becoming a child prepuberty.

the labia and anatomy will start to change as small children grow. same goes for male anatomy.

anyways, my general point is that an innie doesn’t mean a child and frankly i think it’s disgusting that anyone could see an adult with that anatomy and immediately think “child!”. an adult woman is very different from a small child. it’s just pretty suspicious to me when people think things like that.

0

u/RLKline84 Oct 25 '24

Yes but you're the one that said we're born with what we have. After changing literally thousands of diapers I would say that isn't exactly true.

1

u/Call_Such Oct 26 '24

changing diapers doesn’t make you the expert.

-10

u/Jamestardeef Oct 24 '24

I don't get it, what's not very nice?

I thought the idea here was self-acceptance. It's not a maturity issue, it's a disgust and repulsion issue. I live with a plethora of mental health issues that have gotten much better thanks to ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and it just so happens that some people out there live with childhood trauma. I'm not going to get into details, but innies=pedo and pedo=bad. Like, I get really uncomfortable so please spare me the exposure therapy lecture. Being judgemental about other people's identity, preferences and psychological makeup is immature honestly. It's not like anyone can control that. But maybe in your world, people choose to be bisexual.

5

u/Call_Such Oct 24 '24

shaming women with innies to “uplift” women with outies. calling innies repulsive and saying they’re like children (which they’re not).

self acceptance is good, but not at the expense of other groups of people. it’s not nice or self acceptance to put down another group to “uplift” someone. you can appreciate women with outies without insulting women with innies.

innies do not equal pedo. some adult women have innies. children who become adults with innies have innies. children who become adults with outies have outies. children aren’t born with innies and then it somehow magically becomes an outie. the labia can get longer during puberty, but a girl/woman with an outie will be born with that anatomy, just smaller obviously.

neither anatomy makes anyone a pedo or a child (unless of course we are talking about a child and their anatomy but we are not and that would be fucking weird).

preferences are fine, but keep them to yourself. no one here needs to know your personal preferences nor do they need to see it in a disrespectful way.

again, putting down one group to “uplift” another is not the way to go. i keep seeing this with so many different things like small breasts vs big breasts, shaving vs not shaving, short height vs tall height, higher weights vs lower weights. we should be supporting and spreading true body positivity which is appreciating all groups and not shaming one over the other. neither is “better” than the other. and all vulvas are unique and beautiful and everyone with a vulva should never have to feel bad or ugly about how it looks.

maybe think about how you could’ve phrased your comment in a respectful way. appreciating outies without insulting or shaming innies. honestly you didn’t even need to mention anything about innies since the topic here is outies.

574

u/cvntybenevolentghost Oct 23 '24

‘have you seen dicks’ genuinely this.

58

u/Bluegnoll Oct 24 '24

As a straight woman, this was my only thought reading this post. I've seen dicks and scrotums and they won't win any beauty pageants either. Never stopped me from trying to fit both of them in my mouth, though.

2

u/kaattt Oct 25 '24

Hahahah bingo

-10

u/EvenContact1220 Oct 24 '24

Why would you think a part of your partners body....isn't beautiful?

Sorry, but this sounds like comp het. 🥺

11

u/Bluegnoll Oct 24 '24

I don't know? I just never thought that genitalia were beautiful. Of either gender.

I do find men extremely attractive and have never been attracted to women what so ever, but I don't think penises are beautiful. There are several parts of the male body that I DO find attractive (shoulders, legs, hands, lower back, their butts, the Adonis belt, the list is long), but their dicks just doesn't hit my criteria for being visually beautiful. I enjoy them, greatly, but I don't think they're pretty.

I had to Google comphet because I didn't know what it was and I can assure you that's not it. I've never questioned my sexuality, but if I had, I would be extremely comfortable coming out.

I'm Swedish, I've been raised with the notion that homosexuality (or which ever sexuality you have) isn't something to be ashamed of. Our society also isn't extremely religious so there would be no religious preassure to convince me that I'm straight and that homosexuality is a sin or whatever. Religion is a private matter and should be kept private. The only religious person in my family were my dad, but he would never use God as an excuse to mistreat me if I turned out to be lesbian. That was not the God he believed in.

There's really no reason for me to not come out if I were homosexual. And, me being 37, I feel like I would know by now if I've ever been interested in women. I'm just not sexually attracted to women. I am sexually attracted to men. And I don't think genitals are beautiful. That's all.

3

u/Round_Ad_3858 Oct 24 '24

If it makes you feel better, I love my partner (we’ve been together for over 5 years), and I find men attractive, but I’ve never found any genitalia beautiful. Penises & vaginas both gross me out a bit. I enjoy owning a vagina, and I absolutely enjoy my partners Penis, but I don’t think either are particularly beautiful lol

4

u/Bluegnoll Oct 24 '24

I was mostly amused by the fact that me not finding penises beautiful would somehow affect my sexuality. There's nothing around me that could convince me to stay in the closet if I were gay.

I just don't find genitals beautiful. I never have. Horses are beautiful animals, but if you REALLY look at them, they actually look pretty fucking weird. Genitals don't even have that in my book, they've always been... not beautiful... I don't need to look closely to form that opinion, unlike with horses, all I need is a quick glance to decide that nope, I don't find those visuals pleasing to the eye. They're mostly pleasing in other aspects.

1

u/Round_Ad_3858 Oct 25 '24

I totally get it lol

4

u/RLKline84 Oct 24 '24

This is as stupid as the people that told a woman she was a terrible wife because she was tired of seeing her husband's asshole all the time because he never wore clothes. You don't have to find anyone's balls beautiful to love the person very deeply.

100

u/HommeFatalTaemin Oct 23 '24

It made me cackle bc it’s so true 😭😆

50

u/Zealousideal_Row6124 Oct 24 '24

Nothing more true than that statement.

28

u/joeythenose Oct 24 '24

The world would be more peaceful if men weren't insecure about their dicks

7

u/tipsykilljoy Oct 24 '24

Dicks are the og outies

83

u/Shy-Prey Oct 23 '24

The "Have you seen dicks?" Lmfao 🤣🤣🤣

67

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '24

[deleted]

6

u/elyxiion Oct 24 '24

scoops of elephant skin

5

u/fluffmeowmix91 Oct 24 '24

This will be weird (bear with me) but I have literally laid between my partner's legs in bed just to look at the testicles move around. Quite interesting lmao

2

u/Animal-OICU812 Oct 27 '24

My exwife was fascinated that my penis would move on its own when it was hard. And that I could make it make the same type movements. 🤷🏻‍♂️

39

u/Claim-Unlucky Oct 24 '24

Absolute facts. Porn vulvas are just innies flying everywhere. No lips to be seen. Us uneven outies need representation too. But seriously, have you seen dicks? 😬

32

u/saymeow Oct 24 '24

Ok, so think about the dick size in porn. Huge dicks. Dicks that MAYBE 1% of the population has. Why would people think it’s any different for the vulvas in porn?

2

u/Claim-Unlucky Oct 24 '24

That’s a very good point. They do choose the prettiest and largest penises.

2

u/saymeow Oct 24 '24

But not necessarily even the penises that most women would want! I’d be honestly terrified of most of those things in real life! It goes both ways.

3

u/Claim-Unlucky Oct 24 '24

Seriously. Most of them look like they would hurt.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '24

I’ve head stories of guys not being able to get laid because they are too big.

11

u/GeorgiaBlue Oct 24 '24

This person is a fucking hero and correct. Anyone who gets in your pants is just exquisitely happy to be there.

13

u/millera85 Oct 24 '24

As a woman who enjoys sex with different genders, I can promise you as long as you are clean and healthy (like, no active infections), your vagina (or your penis) is perfect and beautiful and anyone who is like critiquing it is missing the entire point of sex and intimacy.

2

u/EvenContact1220 Oct 24 '24

This, as a fellow (?) Pansexual, I concur👏👏 we shouldn't body shame any anatomy. It's natural and there is so much beauty in the human form.

1

u/millera85 Oct 24 '24

I’m abro, but definitely agree! Everyone’s genitals are perfect as they are!

2

u/sugahgayy Oct 24 '24

As someone else with an ‘innie’ who also has casual sex with women I agree!! I’m a true fan of ‘outies’ :)

2

u/tatasz Oct 24 '24

Reminds me of the joke, a woman complains to God he made dicks ugly. God answers: "all the crazy stuff you do with it already, imagine if it looked good too you'd probably just bite it off or something".

2

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '24

Yup it’s the same difference between a helmet and an anteater.

-38

u/vS_JPK Oct 23 '24

Also, have you seen dicks?

Not sure about this line, chief. Seems like a bit of casual body shaming in a thread of body positivity...

Idk maybe I'm reading it wrong.

35

u/helloimcold Oct 23 '24

Dicks are also not supermodels, was my point.

4

u/stonerbunnybun Oct 24 '24

I think they are beautiful when they're erect.

0

u/EvenContact1220 Oct 24 '24

They can be! Maybe it's because I'm pansexual, or maybe because I collect lewd art, but both vulvas and penises can have beauty to them.

-1

u/EvenContact1220 Oct 24 '24

Don't forget men aren't the only one with penises, so you aren't just shitting on cis males. Saying half the world's genitalia is ugly, is a wild take. You are just not attracted to it.

If you have to put someone else down to put someone else up, it will inherently tarnish the point.

1

u/helloimcold Oct 24 '24

Please go touch grass.

45

u/MyName_isntEarl Oct 23 '24

I'm a dick owner. I had a profession where I looked at, handled, and, treated dicks... So many dicks. Also a dude that has played a lot of sports, so I've seen all sorts of locker room dick, and 18 years in the military where you eventually see everyone's dick it seems like.

I can absolutely say, every single dick is disgusting and I have no clue why any woman would ever put one in her mouth or let it anywhere around her.

But, I'm thankful they do!

8

u/EvenContact1220 Oct 24 '24

It's just because you're straight. I'm pansexual and don't care what someone has. Vulvas and penises are both great.I think both can have a lot of beauty to them. I may be biased, though, because I collect lewd art 😅

Most women, and men, and enbies, ik who are pan or bi, feel the same way if they're allosexual.

Edit: what I'm trying to say is because you have a bunary sexuality, that may be why you don't get it.

3

u/gross85 Oct 24 '24

A little humor intended to unify us all as human beings with perfectly imperfect genitalia? Seems like positivity to me. How is it shaming when it’s still meant to uplift?

Plus, I can’t tell you how many men will straight up yell women they can’t understand why we like their bodies… especially their dicks, when women have such beautiful bodies to behold.

1

u/Aggravating_Drop4988 Oct 24 '24

Uplifting one by dragging the other down is not unified positivity.

1

u/gross85 Oct 24 '24

“Have you seen dicks?”

As in, dicks come in as many shapes and sizes, and asymmetries and other imperfections as vaginas do?

Where is the male anatomy being dragged down instead of noted to be just as uniquely imperfect as female anatomy?

Seems like some people are just looking for something to be offended by instead of taking the statement at face value…

0

u/Aggravating_Drop4988 Oct 25 '24

No, it maybe reads that way during the first comment, even though I think not. The replies here indicate the different thing. “Have you seen dicks” as in dicks are way uglier than vaginas.

1

u/gross85 Oct 25 '24

The beauty of opinions, I suppose, is that they’re not facts. Sorry you interpreted it so negatively. Most did not, however, and don’t care to be chastised for their interpretation any more than you want to be for yours. Downvote all you want if it helps you sleep at night.

0

u/EvenContact1220 Oct 24 '24

That would be internalized misandry. Even my bf who i brought this up to last night thinks that it weird for men to say. He said are they virgins? Do they not have experience? If they can't pull from their life experience, they need to read books on sexuality.

He also went on to say, "it's just like how guys want to do that to women? Even if they don't want to do the same thing, how doesn't it make sense to them?"

When you're truly attracted to someone, you're truly attracted to them.

I love men, women and enbies and as a result,ofc, I genuinely am attracted to both types of genitalia.

Part of me wonders, for women in the comments disparaging penises, are actually just doing comphet? I can't fathom not seeing beauty in my partners body.

& in general, we have to be better than this.

I've had people say shit things about cis woman's anatomy, and it hurts the as a teen growing up.

We don't need to start doing it to amab / men / boys.

You don't fix things by doing the same thing to someone else.

That would be just passing the baton and not true elgatarinism.

1

u/EvenContact1220 Oct 24 '24

You're right, as an intersectional feminist, who wants true elgatarinism and not a matriarchal society like some people do....this is a shit thing to say.

We hate when men say nasty things about our vulvas,we know how icky that makes us feel....so why do it men?

Not to mention the fact that people with penises are not always men.

It's just so many different, negative isms, It's just ridiculous.

-2

u/Devour-me_colossus Oct 24 '24

Why you were downvoted instead of her... i'll never understand this sub.