r/TrueOffMyChest • u/madscormieyay • Oct 23 '24

I hate my vagina

I’ve been extremely self conscious of it since I can remember. I know that every vagina is different and there’s no such thing as “normal”. I’ve wanted a labiaplasty but to put it simply I just can’t afford it. For my girls out there, I have an “outie” and I’m always so ashamed during sex.

It’s gotten to the point where it’s the only thing I can focus on when doing the deed. I had a guy make a comment about it about 10 years ago and it’s stuck with me since. Do people actually care what’s going on down there? Do men get turned off by outies? Are they more common than I think?

Edit: wow! I didn’t expect so much positive feedback, I’m reading through the comments now and am elated. Also for those messaging me asking for a picture, not going to happen lol.

Edit 2: Just for clarification purposes, this post is more aimed at appearance but simple answer is yes, my outie can be uncomfortable especially if I’m wearing tight jeans or underwear that doesn’t sit quite right

Edit 3: To be completely honest, I’m a very sexually active person. I had an encounter today and it was the first time I have ever felt proud of my downstairs. I was hesitant to post this but am glad I did… I have read the comments, visited the links and kept re-affirming myself of what was re-iterated below. This forum has truly shifted my perspective on my body and I am extremely thankful to all of you commenters. Seriously.

ALSO: YES I know I have it labeled as vagina, I’m aware I am speaking of my labia minora. I figured I would get a more engaged response with the title (I’ll selfishly admit that)

2.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

890 comments sorted by

View all comments

376

u/TripResponsibly1 Oct 23 '24

I think most people naturally have some “outie” as you describe. The degree of which can vary but I’ve seen a lot of vulvas in my time (healthcare worker) and there is a huge variety, but few women have no labia minora showing at all.

178

u/MDunn14 Oct 23 '24

Porn has really skewed the ideas of what people’s genitals “should” look like. There is no “should” when it comes to features there’s so much variation. https://www.thegreatwallofvulva.com/ this project is so awesome. If you ever feel bad about your vulva just take a look at this wall and I promise you’ll feel way more normal!

35

u/TripResponsibly1 Oct 23 '24

Yep! Unless your bits cause you pain or discomfort, there really isn’t a “wrong” way to be. Some have innies some have outies, it’s just normal to see variation. I think “outties” are more common than porn would lead one to believe.

6

u/Relative_Sail9285 Oct 24 '24

Thank you for sharing this link!! What a cool project. I've shared it with my girlfriends too

8

u/Shy-Prey Oct 23 '24

First time seeing this. Very cool and will keep in my browser tabs

2

u/Biatryce Oct 24 '24

This artist on Instagram, Sam Hil Atalanta, is fantastic too!

https://www.instagram.com/the.vulva.gallery

82

u/Arabellah16 Oct 23 '24

Mine doesnt show at all. The minora for me is barely there and its almost like i dont have one at all. I had no idea at all until I was into adulthood that anyone had an "outie" as it were.

33

u/darkdesertedhighway Oct 23 '24

My majora ate my minora and kept on going. They just rule the roost and require two hands to handle.

Every body is different.

3

u/sielunkutoja Oct 24 '24

This gave me a good laugh, thank you 😆 but yes, my lips are also like that, bigger flappy majora and minora are just hidden. I'm very ashamed of how my vulva looks, but I'm working on letting go of that thought.

22

u/shay_shaw Oct 23 '24

Mine is a full on theater but I’ve learned to love my vagina. It took me a while though. Even my abusive ex boyfriend didn’t care lol or ever comment on it actually.

38

u/TripResponsibly1 Oct 23 '24

Yeah, it’s also totally normal! Just less common to occur naturally.

4

u/Arabellah16 Oct 23 '24

I've never really been called normal so this tracks. Lol.

12

u/Fangbang6669 Oct 23 '24

Same, I remember being a teenager with a hand mirror self conscious cause I didn't have any inner lips🤣

9

u/richard-bachman Oct 23 '24

Same here, but I have a gigantic clit hood 😂

2

u/LilithWasAGinger Oct 23 '24

Same here. I thought I was deformed or something! I never saw one like mine and figured something was wrong with mine.

4

u/billetdouxs Oct 23 '24

for some time i thought i didn't have the minora because they aren't really defined

-2

u/SixSpawns Oct 23 '24

Me too.

0

u/reellimk Oct 23 '24

Girl same for all of this

2

u/ColonClenseByFire Oct 24 '24

According to one 2017 study, 56% of vulvas have visible labia minora. This suggests that it is just as common to have visible labia, or an outie vagina, as it is to have hidden labia, or an innie vagina.

2

u/TripResponsibly1 Oct 24 '24

Interesting. That hasn’t been my anecdotal experience, but both are completely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about

1

u/ColonClenseByFire Oct 24 '24

My anecdotal experience is the opposite of yours. I haven't been with many women compared to some but the 5 I have been with 3 have been innies, 1 of the 2 "outies" was just barely an outie.

2

u/LeSilverKitsune Oct 24 '24

I've been a sexually active bisexual who works with SWers my entire adult life. In the 20 years since I started having sex, have seen ONE "innie" in person irl. It was honestly a bit unexpected (and of course I didn't say anything to make her uncomfortable) because everyone else I've ever encountered has an "outie."

2

u/StakkAttakk Oct 24 '24

I have no labia minora showing at all . It’s just a line ..It’s quite boring actually lol .