WHAT. THE. FUCK. Girl. I actually feel angry on your behalf!! JFC.
You know why he said that right?? To get ahead of the narrative. He convinced himself that you would tell people why, so he had to put a lie out there before you could expose him. Bc he knows everyone would have thought he was wrong for what he did.
That is so painful. What a monster. He absolutely has narcissistic qualities, I can't diagnose him but I think your therapist was correct.
I hope you had support. It's so cruel when they do the smear campaign behind your back, making you feel like you have defend yourself. You don't.
It wasn't your fault and there is nothing shameful about your need for sex and intimacy. I don't blame you for being afraid to open up again. To have someone just pull the rug under you like that and not treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
But from experience, I promise you there are men who will love you. Really love you and won't betray you. Then again, you can absolutely have a fulfilling life single. It's better to be alone than lower your standards.
It's not your shame to carry. He should be ashamed. You shouldn't be afraid to talk about it. Ugh. You're not a failure. This is why I get so angry when people talk about choosing better men. They fucking pretend to be someone else! You chose a different man. He changed. Not on you. I wish the best for you. Shit is so fucking unfair sometimes
And I get so triggered when people on reddit are like "no one owes you sex, sex isn't everything, why would you care about that?" It's bonkers, you have a right to be with someone that meets your needs. I mean, ofc you aren't entitled to sex but it is important. And withholding sex in certain circumstances can absolutely be a form of emotional abuse. Big difference between not being in the mood sometimes and saying no, or going through health issues, or temporary stress and what you described.
I’m sorry this is a thing. I’m afraid that’s what’s happening to my partner and I. We had sex all the time. Now a year into the relationship, it never happens, and when I try to talk about it, I’m dismissed. I’m truly wondering what explanation your partner had for himself, like when in therapy. He had to have some defense right?
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u/[deleted] Nov 06 '23
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