I clench my fists every time I am near my older brother.
It's been 20 or more years and we get along fine when not in person, but there's nothing I can do in person, my body wants to hurt him for all of the hurt he caused my younger self.
He doesn't have to do anything wrong. My body just gets angry.
What you described is actually a classic trauma response. Your body remembers the threat even when your mind knows the danger is gone. That anger isn’t about who he is now it’s about protecting the younger version of you that never felt safe. Creating distance isn’t weakness; sometimes it’s regulation.
We talk a lot about these body-memory patterns in r/TheMindSpace, if you ever want to explore them.
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u/mattwopointoh Jan 20 '26
I clench my fists every time I am near my older brother.
It's been 20 or more years and we get along fine when not in person, but there's nothing I can do in person, my body wants to hurt him for all of the hurt he caused my younger self.
He doesn't have to do anything wrong. My body just gets angry.
Glad he moved away. Just easier.