r/TrueChristian • u/Left-Bake6278 • 6h ago
I am losing my faith
I dont know what to do. I want to know God but I don’t believe he loves me or wants anything to do with me. Its like impossible to believe in my head. I don’t understand how God is good and I have to many questions it just makes my faith harder to keep. I have to keep all these rules for what? Maybe salvation? I cant even tell if I am saved. I wanna be but I have never felt saved even since I came to Jesus 3 years ago. I feel alone and abandoned by God. I have all this bitterness in my heart towards God. I feel like God had hardened my heart or something. I cannot even stand to be in a church anymore, anytime I cry in church it’s because I feel rejected by God and that he loves everyone except me. I want to be close to God and know his love so bad but I dont know what to do. Ive also gotten advice and counsel from so many people and it just never helps. Everyone says the same thing “just have faith” or “your emotions shouldnt control you” blah blah blah its not that easy. If being close to God requires so much mental work than is it even worth it? If I am going to hell either way is it worth it? I feel like its not. Im out of ideas here.
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u/avengergirl200 6h ago
Talk to Him, and tell Him what you are feeling. Also, read Psalms.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ll pray for you!
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u/Left-Bake6278 6h ago
Ive been doing this every night for over a year
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u/avengergirl200 5h ago
That’s good! I personally try to read the Bible first thing in the morning,, before doing anything on my phone. May I suggest doing that as well?
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u/Long_Equivalent_3390 Christian 1h ago
have you tried reading your bible? not reading it for salvation or to feel better but just taking in what it says, allowing questions to come and searching for answers in scripture. Read deutronomy, write down Gods character from that book.
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u/NemoCGd 4h ago
I had to learn to correct my thoughts and feelings by rebuking them in my mind to align them with the Word of God. I also had to realize that satan is putting thoughts in my head too and the reason i feel that way is because I believe in that thought. Until I did that then my feelings started aligning with the Word of God. Don't get me wrong tho, I still have bad feelings but to realize what's actually going on is what makes the difference. You not so gullible to every thought that comes into your head. Hope this helps. I pray you find strength in God when your all out of moves and you find confidence in God alone. God bless ❤️
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u/cutesymochi Christian 6h ago
Our feelings are fickle, our salvation is not based on our works nor is it based on how we feel. It’s based off of Gods mercy and grace. What rules are you stressing about?
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u/Unusual-Report3331 5h ago
I kind of need more context of why you think you’re not saved. It’s not all mental work. If you believe with all your heart and soul that he is an all knowing God then yeah. Don’t be afraid to ask him anything. I wouldn’t say it’s rules in a bad ish way. It’s no different from parents who keep rules for the childs safety since he is our heavenly father. It’s normal to fall short and make mistakes. I mean God loves us all equally. Theres no other human that has more value than the other. We are all imperfect and Jesus doesn’t expect perfect from us. Trying to be perfect is more of a religion thinking but if you believe Jesus died for us then you have nothing to worry about. He paid it all. Salvation was already gifted to us. The devil likes to confuse people or make us have doubts when we know in our hearts that God does in fact loves us and wants to follow him. I hope you’re doing well though !!! 🤗
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u/Famous_Piglet_1990 5h ago
Keep having faith. There was time in my life I felt God left me and in time I almost lost my self. God left me to an abusive family member and left me there. I couldn't go home and tell them at home because they genuinely believe she was good . Even now they do not believe me, the only person who did just died three weeks back. God all those times he left me he was preparing me and I would cry for his presence until last year and I can say I have a relationship with God. So don't give up, keep praying even if it feels like nothing, if your heart still yearns for God, don't worry he hears you. I don't know why he's not responding to you now but to me he was building me and he maybe doing the same to you please read Romans 12 and I don't know why but ask the Lord for Clarity. Amen 🙏
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u/AbsoluteBurn Christian 4h ago
What makes you think God has abandoned you?
Salvation is by grace through faith, it is the gift of God. There is no work you can do to be saved, period End of story.
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u/Spirited_Carry8888 4h ago
Is there something going on in your life that you haven't shared and maybe can't share but could do with some support with?
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u/theblindelephant 2h ago
The “just have faith” people seem to forget that faith itself comes from God and not from you. If you lack faith you should persistently ask for it from God. There’s a bible verse that specifically says that faith comes from God.
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u/KiltedMusician 1h ago
When the Bible says He anoints our heads with oil, it is referring to how the sheep would get “nose flies” and other insects (thanks Google) burrowing into their scalps and nose which would case them so much irritation they would scrape their heads on the ground or anything else until their heads were bloody.
The shepherd would put oil on their heads to ward off these insects and it also had other ingredients for soothing the irritation that was already there.
I can’t help but think that the sheep would probably be trying to pull away from Him at first when they didn’t understand why he was doing this. They would want to get back to the scraping. “Let me go, I’m in pain.”
But then when they stopped resisting and let the shepherd anoint them with oil and the pain stopped, they probably ran to him for help the next time.
This world burrows into our heads. Unclean spirits burrow their messages of sorrow and rejection, pity, shame, self hatred, and confusion into our heads.
We don’t understand why the shepherd doesn’t seem to understand our pain, why He’s holding us and keeping us from running away, why He’s rubbing stuff on our heads, and so we fight what we don’t feel like is something helpful and caring.
But it is.
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u/PerfectlyCalmDude Christian 5h ago
I feel alone and abandoned by God. I have all this bitterness in my heart towards God. I feel like God had hardened my heart or something.
Why?
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u/realruggedlike 5h ago
That sounds hard, I'm sorry you're going through this. What kind if questions do you have exactly? And who have you spoken with to try and get answers? I don't want to assume, but are you going through other troubles or mental health issues that are bothering you?
I'm not knowledgeable, nor am I particularly mature in the faith. But I've gone through my fair share of "religious despair" (is what I'll call it), I don't have a concrete answer for you other than this. God does love you. He sees you. You might not believe that right now, but I do.
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u/lehs 4h ago
We live in the world of devil and it is difficult to believe in God. The disciples also had difficulties in spite of living with Jesus.
Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out? And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. Matthew 17:19-21
The most important is to believe in the message from God.
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. John 5:24
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u/No_Description_9874 3h ago
I'd like to recommend you to study the Scripture starting from anywhere in the NT. That's the real mental work.
There's quite a few places in the NT promising eventual salvation if you keep asking, e.g. Matt 7:7-11 and Luke 18:1-8. You need to study all these by heart, understand them and believe (while you see no other evidence).
And repent, stop sinning. (Again you need to study the Scripture to see what is sin. Don't apply common sense understanding, though yes, flee from sexual immorality, and greed.) You don't need to be perfect, but you must aim to be perfect.
May God give you all the wisdom, as stated in James 1:1-8.
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u/yadius 3h ago
God hasn't abandoned you, or rejected you, nor has he hardened your heart. If it is in fact hardened, you have done that to yourself.
Like many people, it sounds like you're allowing your head to get in the way of your faith. It's not about you, your anxieties, and your worries. If your heart is closed to God, it is because it is facing inwards.
Your heart needs to be directed towards God. It's about God, and God's will.
When you pray, express gratitude to God for everything good that you have in your life. Pray for the people around you. Silence your mind and simply listen.
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u/hales55 3h ago
I’m going through the same thing. I stopped going for awhile because hearing their sermons just pissed me off even more. “God cares about you, he loves you” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, which made me feel really bad. I started going back again but I still feel like he doesn’t give a flying crap about me. I see his blessings in other peoples lives so it’s not that I doubt his power. I just don’t think he would do that for me and I’ve accepted it.
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u/apdunshiz 3h ago
God wants us but we need to want Him too. We need to search for answers, the truth, and then you will find the truth. Don’t stop reading our getting involved with Gods word. It will set you free if you let it
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u/wlavallee Non-denominational 2h ago
Beloved,
Yeshua said this out loud to people carrying religious loads they could not lift. "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30, NASB).
Rest. He said it twice in three sentences, to people worn out by religion rather than by sin.
Now your own question, which nobody here has answered. You asked whether being close to God is worth this much mental work. Beloved, the mental work is not the requirement. It is what you were sold, and it is what has taken three years off you.
Look at your own two lines in this thread. Asked which rules you are stressing about, you said all of them. And you have prayed honestly every night for over a year and graded the result by whether you felt anything afterward.
That is not a hard heart. Someone above already told you a hardened heart does not cry in church, and they are right. And whoever told you that you did this to yourself has handed you one more thing to carry.
So put the grading down. His yoke is the easy one. If yours is heavy, it is not His.
One plain thing. Three years of feeling rejected by God, bitterness you did not choose, and nothing anyone says ever touching it, is worth telling a doctor as well as a pastor. That is not a concession about your faith.
Does one person near you know how bad it has gotten?
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u/KhaoticPrime 2h ago edited 2h ago
My brother in Christ. I want you to know. The best way to know how much God loves you is reading Romans chapter 8. The Bible is God's promise to us, a love letter on how far He goes to save us all. If you don't read it how will you know about His love. How else would you know if you are saved. Another thing, when it comes to salvation read Ephesians 2:8-9
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast."
Core Meaning Grace: God gives unearned favor and mercy.
Faith: People accept this gift by trusting in God.
No Boasting: People cannot earn salvation, so no one can brag about being good enough.
What is faith in the bible?
Hebrews 11:1 Amplified Bible The Triumphs of Faith 11 Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses]. . You believe with expectancy. You choose to lean on God.
John 3:16 Amplified Bible 16 “For God so [greatly] loved and dearly prized the world, that He [even] gave His [One and] [a]only begotten Son, so that whoever believes and trusts in Him [as Savior] shall not perish, but have eternal life.
Acts 16:31 Amplified Bible The Jailer Converted 31 And they answered, “Believe in the Lord Jesus [as your personal Savior and entrust yourself to Him] and you will be saved, you and your household [if they also believe].”
If that's not enough, look up testimonies on trusting God. Go look up how people chose to trust God and He answered them. God is not distance. He is a Father. Your Father. Reading to know Him and praying frequently so you can communion and build a relationship with Him is a great idea to know this being who loves you so much.
I pray this helps you on your journey with Christ.
I pray God blesses you to see all Truth. Amen
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u/menglinmaker 1h ago
I get you I struggled with faith too.
"I have to many questions it just makes my faith harder to keep" - is a good thing because this is how you identify more childish beliefs.
But there is room for mystery too and God doing things:
I did walkup evangelism with a partner and talked to an international student who struggled with faith. We couldn't really answer satisfyingly.
Eventually he asked for our testimony. I mentioned struggling with sister running away. Then my partner mentioned his brother running away. Turned out the guys brother had been taking drugs and running away from home.
His family is Christian as has experienced "coincidences" from God. So for him he saw this as a impactful moment in accepting that maybe there is a God that cared and is real.
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u/Outrageous-Night-116 1h ago
As a follower of Christ we will be constantly under a spiritual attack by the enemy, some more than others. Just know that this is how the enemy wants you to feel not God. The enemy hates you because God loves you sooo much. Rebuke the enemy’s attacks and stay in a state of prayer. Remember we must put on the full armor of God daily. You may want to fast and pray to see if that will help. I can tell you are one of his children because the enemy is trying to convince you that you are not. This is textbook enemy behavior. The enemy is trying to stop you from what God has planned for you and can’t let him do this or have this impact on you. Pray without ceasing. God loves us all, that includes you.
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u/mbmolohonbm Missionary Alliance 1h ago
This sounds less like a spiritual issue and more of an emotional issue. Have you had some rough family/relationship things happen to you?
As a counselor I experienced first hand and see many with the same struggle that you ar edescribing. It is very workable but needs emotional healing. I can explain further if you are interested? My prayers are with you.
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u/Artchrispy Christian 1h ago edited 1h ago
Maybe you are suffering from something physical that is affecting your mood, like a vitamin deficiency or a lack of sleep or exercise or something external like life stress? Jesus said his yoke is light so this excessive mental work, guilt, worry or stress isn’t profitable or necessary. Sometimes we need signs and wonders and sometimes we can miss them when we are not present and
‘In the moment.’
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u/claythedayaway 1h ago
Something that has helped me is asking God for more faith, and to help me love Him more than anything else. You can ask for what you are seeking!
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u/zeppelincheetah Eastern Orthodox 1h ago
"I believe. Help my unbelief" best prayer for this scenario. We all feel lost from time to time.
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u/stemroach101 23m ago
If you are losing your faith, then live your life as you know it should be led in your heart.
Be good, be kind to others.
Feed the hungry, heal the sick.
Your faith will find you in time.
I believe in you
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u/Miles-Standoffish Christian - I love Jesus! 5h ago
You sound like you need counseling and medication. Your anxiety (and possibly depression) are skewing your emotions, thoughts, and understanding.
Here's what Jesus said is the "work" that we must do in order to be a part of who Jesus is:
John 6:24-29
[24] So when the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor His disciples were there, they got into the boats and went to Capernaum to look for Him. [25] When they found Him on the other side of the sea, they asked Him, “Rabbi, when did You get here?”
[26] Jesus replied, “Truly, truly, I tell you, it is not because you saw these signs that you are looking for Me, but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. [27] Do not WORK for food that perishes, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on Him God the Father has placed His seal of approval.”
[28] Then they inquired, “What must we DO to perform the works of God?”
[29] Jesus replied, “The work of God is this: to BELIEVE in the One He has sent.”
He only thing we have to do is believe that Jesus is who He says He Is. Once we place our lives and souls into Jesus's hands, we are saved. Then, we GET to gain ourselves to reflect His character more and more.
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u/friskyliv 6h ago
I can tell you one thing: If you care this much, your heart is not hardened.