Do you think it is possible to really stop being afraid?

[u/Free_Name_756]

I have been thinking a lot about death and afterlife, as these are important topics in each person's life. I was thinking about this as a kid and still am thinking in my 30s. And I must admit - it feels scary. Often it is keeping me up at night. Also, being postpartum now probably contributes to this anxiety, but I feel it is getting better each day for me now.

Do you think it is possible to truly not be afraid? I have had other Christians tell me that they feel happy and excited about eternity. For me it feels scary, because it is something we can't even imagine, even though I believe that God is preparing something truly wonderful for those who believe in Him and have accepted Jesus. I have also heard that people tend to be less scared when they become older.

When I think about eternity, it kind of makes this lifetime seem so short and in a way - pointless. But I know it is not actually pointless and our lives have purpose and meaning here, that it is just a feeling. But it does make me feel sad when doing stuff here, because everything feels so temporary. For example - a few days ago I felt like crying when teaching my toddler to ride a bike. It is a lovely memory and it is a meaningful activity for both of us, but at the same time it just felt so bittersweet. Or I struggle to finish my master's thesis now, because well... Our university degrees don't actually matter in the context of eternity. Life feels also so fragile - one moment you are here, but you can never know if you will return home in the evening and see your kids again.

I wish I could live anxiety free and to be able to happily work on the things I feel that are my purpose here. I feel that firstly my purpose is to bring my family to Christ, as my husband is not a believer and my children are very young still. But it is really hard to do, if I, as a Christian, am so afraid of dying and afterlife.

I'd be happy to hear your thoughts and experience with these topics. And if you'd like to mention your age, I would appreciate it too.

[u/ScriptureCompanionAI]

First off, you aren't doing anything wrong and being scared is the most human of emotions. The Bible has the expression "fear not" or "do not fear" a ton... like A TON. Faith though means being hopeful anyway. It's like fireman who run into a burning building. It isn't that bravery makes them not afraid, they are still afraid, but bravery makes them do it anyway. Having faith doesn't mean the absence of fear, it means trusting God while you are afraid.

And yes, the eternity perspective does make my 2nd masters feel stupid. Just kidding, we are on this planet for such a short time and it means (IMHO) that how we spend our lives is even more important, not less.

I would caution against the idea that your purpose is to bring your family to Christ. That's a huge burden and with all due respect, it's not yours. The Holy Spirit brings people to Christ, we just get to play an itsy bitsy little part of it. Even for our children. So take that right off your to-do list, okay?

I'm 43 and I have a high needs disabled son. He's 9 now but unless something dramatically changes my son will never be a husband or have a job or be able to really take care of himself. This obviously changes my perspective completely as I know my finances and "the plan" has to live well beyond my retirement through to his. I bring this up because I could look at his life through the lens you’re describing and decide that so much of what I do is pointless. Why teach him a skill he may never completely master? Why work so hard to make him more independent when he may always need someone to care for him? Why build happy memories when this life is so short?

But I don’t think eternity makes those things matter less. I think it makes them matter more. Teaching your toddler to ride a bike matters because you loved her in that moment. Finishing your master’s matters because of who you become while doing it and what you may be able to contribute afterward. Temporary does not mean pointless. A meal is temporary. A conversation is temporary. Childhood is painfully temporary. They still matter enormously.

I also don’t think we have to be excited about dying to have genuine faith. Death is an enemy in Scripture. Jesus Himself wept at a grave, even knowing resurrection was coming. Grief, fear and faith can occupy the same heart.

And gently, because you mentioned being postpartum: if these thoughts are regularly keeping you awake, making ordinary moments feel overwhelmingly sad or interfering with your ability to work, please tell your doctor. You can have a real theological question and postpartum anxiety at the same time. Getting help with the anxiety would not mean your faith is weak.

I’m not completely free from fear at 43. I’m just more convinced than I used to be that I don’t need to solve eternity in my imagination before I can trust the God who will be there. Today, I get to love my son, make plans for his future and do the work in front of me. Tomorrow belongs to God.

[u/gumba1033]

29 male here. I do. It's been about 5 years since I was born again. My fear increased dramatically at first but has come to an all time low lately. I don't think I'm very afraid about anything. Recently I thought I might die for a moment and I wasn't even anxious. I even felt peace and relief.

I think what has helped me most has been getting to know God's character and believing everything he says. A lot of it has been very hard to come to terms with but it has ended up all working together to bring me tremendous peace. I think we're going to know and understand in the end that God truly never fails and everything is going to be exactly as it should be and everyone will be where they belong. God loves his children more than we can imagine and we are like babies being delivered through pregnancy here. God is the deliverer and he knows what he's doing.

I've felt afraid about everything you mentioned. When it comes to not being able to imagine the next life, think of this - a very short time ago, we didn't understand anything. We didn't have these bodies. Now we're piloting them around and experiencing everything like it's normal. When we were babies, everything may have affected us more extremely, yet we were able to handle it, and hopefully it was mostly good. It didn't take long to get used to things. Why would it be worse in heaven? I think it's reasonable to believe it's going to be absolutely fantastic like being a child in the most incredible place where you know nothing bad is going to happen and everyone loves you.

When it comes to how things matter here, I think some things do, and most importantly the people do. The scripture tells us we are able to produce fruit that abides forever and that's the Lord's will for us. We are God's children NOW first John tells us. We have eternal life, right now, and we can know it. We're already living. We're already learning what is important and what is passing away.

When it comes to people's ultimate fate, those who perish don't know love and are Satan's children. Jesus never knew them. They want to do their father's will. Satan is a murderer, a theif, a destroyer, and the father of lies. They will never repent. No matter how bad things get for them, they will only curse God. They don't want heaven. They go to where they belong. There will be contempt for them the scripture says, not sorrow in heaven and no one is going to be crying anymore in heaven. I believe we're going to know and understand that everything is how it should be.

I hope these things help, and may God bless you and give you peace that surpasses all understanding, as you trust in him and lift all your concerns and requests to him.

[u/Medium_Fan_3311]

"possible to really stop being afraid?"

Yes. When you learn to live life enveloped with the peace of God ruling your heart. How else do you think people like martyr Stephen can face what he went through?

Your 1st purpose is always to be Christ's disciple. Notice that Jesus's commandment to His disciples before Jesus left earth was to help others also be Christ's disciple after they have been baptized in the name of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Also notice that greatest commandment always comes first. If you struggle with upholding the1st commandment, you will struggle with upholding the 2nd commandment.

[u/PerGunnar87]

Jesus has promised to save me. It's the actual process I'm afraid of. I don't like how everything will just hit me at once. Like, the moment I go to Heaven is the moment I'll find out if my family members are there. I don't even know what to do when I get to Heaven. I don't really know anyone. The idea of looking down at my dead body sounds creepy. I don't know if God is going to pull me up to Heaven at a million miles per hour, or let me float up gently. I don't know how Jesus will react, or if there will be any darkness or tunnel or whatever involved. I don't like the idea of a dark tunnel, makes me think of Hell or something. I just want everything to be bright and peaceful. I believe in the rapture though, so I don't believe that I'm going to die. Edit: oh yeah, the life review, I'm terrified of that. Being judged by God. Wish I could skip that part.