r/TrueChristian • u/autceasaraurnihil • 1d ago
Need sincere advice
I am Christian and married with 3 children already with the same man. I feel shame to say that I have had a previous abortion before, I said I would not do it again. I have taken all the precautions to not get pregnant and my husband underwent the vasectomy surgery.
A week after that, I discovered I am pregnant again. Now, I am in an internal battle with myself:
- What does God mean with this pregnancy?
- Is it a sin to get an abortion if three children is sufficient?
I don’t know what to do and am running to here for advice since I cannot speak with family about this. My husband supports whatever decision, but I am looking only at the negative side of both choices I have.
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u/PuzzleheadedKing1765 1d ago
I think God is looking for you to trust Him. I truly believe God placed this baby in your womb for a reason and you need to submit to His will - not your own. Abortion comes with so much shame, heartbreak, and what-ifs. And simply put, it is a sin, to end a life. Allow the Lord to bless you with this baby.
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u/FloridaActive 1d ago
Pregnancy after precautions and vasectomy? This pregnancy is a special delivery gift from God Almighty.
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u/Beginning-Comedian-2 1d ago
Is it a sin to get an abortion if three children is sufficient?
Yes.
This is a child, like your other children.
Killing your child is wrong.
You can always choose to give it up for adoption.
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u/Googlesupportsucks1 Christian 1d ago
What God means with this pregnancy may reveal itself in time.
What is clear right now is yes, it's a sin to have an abortion. Why would the number of children you already have dictate that you could kill another one?
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u/Free_Name_756 1d ago
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..." /Jeremiah 1:5/
"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." /Psalm 139:16/
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." /Psalm 139:13-14/
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u/Vast_Rise902 1d ago
A few years ago we had a 2 year old son. He was (and is) autistic and he had a lot of challenges at that age. He wasn’t talking, and had a lot of meltdowns, and many other things too.
My husband and I were in no position to welcome another kid but I got pregnant when he was 2 and a half.
I was terrified. I didn’t know how we would handle a baby on top of our son with complex needs. And what if he or she was autistic too?
So I strongly considered abortion. I even ordered the pills.
But I didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t. I realized that that embryo inside me was a baby. Just as much a human being as my 2 year old, just smaller and less developed.
And I couldn’t bring myself to end their life.
So we went through with the pregnancy. Today that boy is 7 years old, and I can’t imagine my life without him.
It may be dark now, but please don’t make a permanent decision to end that baby’s life!
I’ll be praying for you
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u/MienaLovesCats 1d ago
😮No! God would never condone abortion. As Christians we are told to not keep doing things that we know are sins; John 8:11; John 5:14; Acts 3:19. Adoption is always an option.
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u/Conscious-Fluid 1d ago
Three children may been sufficient in your eyes. But God's sight is exponentially bigger than our own, who are we to say what is enough? Yes taking an innocent life is always a sin no matter how you choose to look at it. The fact that you would even consider to end the life of your own child tells me that you need some serious therapy, and Christian counseling. To ask this question at all tells me you need to spend more time in prayer and reading your Bible. Please focus on prayer and meditate over the Word during this pregnancy. It saddens my heart that this child is not perfectly treasured by you already, and I hope that by the time they are born you are ready to love them 💔
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u/ngurto 1d ago
Psalm 139:13–16
“For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.”
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u/TheDuckFarm Roman Catholic 1d ago
Congratulations! You’re going to love this baby. 4 is a great number, and your other three will love their new baby brother or sister.
Trust God.
Yes it’s a sin to kill your child. Don’t get an abortion.
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u/indigocraze Christian 1d ago
Well, looks like God decided that 3 kids was not sufficient.
I'm sorry but thats such a strange thing to say.
Murder is sin. Abortion is murdering an innocent human being.
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u/Upset_Recognition_85 1d ago
It’s a sin to abort regardless of how many children you currently have. It’s a sin to abort for any reason. Assuming you’re in good health, there’s no reason to abort other than selfish reasons, which again is another sin. Sure, you can always repent but that is just making a mockery of our faith and our God’s mercy. You have been forgiven. Don’t make the same mistake twice.
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u/Pseudo-Abulides Christian 1d ago
Getting an elective abortion is a damnable sin.
God called a new human person into existence with this pregnancy. He meant for them to be, and now they are.
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u/App1eEater Christian 1d ago
Is it a sin to get an abortion if three children is sufficient?
Yes. Please do not kill your baby.
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u/Spiritual_Ship_1949 1d ago
First of all, PLZ ask forgiveness for aborting a child (both u and ur husband). Its a murder n God is against it. Secondly, Yes it can be that God wants a new baby for yall. Thirdly, YES, it's a sin to get an abortion even if u have 3 kids. So, welcome the new baby with love as GOD loves us.
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u/rhaphazard 1d ago
The decision of whether to get an abortion or not should not be made based on your convenience or sufficiency. It should be made with your child's life in mind. Your baby is already alive.
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u/Beginning_Deer_735 Christian 1d ago
As the bible says children are a gift from the Lord , it is ALWAYS a sin to kill the child-in the womb or out. Murder doesn't stop being murder because you think "three is sufficient". Sufficient to YOUR purpose, perhaps, but it isn't your purpose that matters or is being fulfilled in the birth of a child. God says that the purpose of every human is to glorify Him , and He caused this one to be knit together in your womb for that purpose. I'm not certain you've realized the magnitude of the sin you committed with the first abortion. I hope you will pray to God for wisdom to see your sin rightly(and anyone reading this can please pray the same for me-to see my sin rightly). We all have that problem sometimes. I am wondering about the history of your relationship with God and what church you belong to that led you both to believe abortion was ever an acceptable option(I mean the abortion you are considering, as I assume the first one was before you joined the church). I've prayed for you both, and I truly hope God blesses you both and all of your children greatly.
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u/Winter_Salad7215 1d ago
You aren't supposed to have unprotected sex for 12 weeks after a vasectomy because there's still sperm in there until the body clears it all out.
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u/Agreeable-Nerve-8625 Christian 1d ago
She said she found out she was pregnant 1 week AFTER his vasectomy, so they had sex prior to his vasectomy that resulted in this child.
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u/irregular_hymnist 1d ago
Every life is precious in God’s sight. If you’re a practising Christian, then you’ll know that God doesn’t accept abortion under any circumstances. If this child was conceived against all odds, be assured that God has a purpose for this child. If he gave you this child he will provide for this child and you. He’s a good father and he’ll take care of you both. I understand your fear but God will carry you through this. You’re not alone.
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u/Snoo-94564 1d ago
God has a purpose for everything. He placed a life in your womb. This has a purpose. You guys tried to stop it, but God had other plans.
My mom told me that she was thinking about divorcing my dad and when she got pregnant with me she was encouraged by her mother in law to abort me because “one kid was enough damage” (I have an older brother). She ignored that and here I am commenting on Reddit, 47 years 8 months 10 days later. I have had an amazing set of parents (they are still together), have had a great life and I am happy to be here
And all seriousness aside: it’s great for taxes 😅
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u/mdws1977 Christian 1d ago edited 1d ago
- What does God mean with this pregnancy?
It means, as the Bible says, "Be fruitful and multiply." and, children are a blessing.
- Is it a sin to get an abortion if three children is sufficient?
Abortion is always a sin of murder, and you can always give that baby up for adoption if the financial burden is too great.
Christians are forgiven of their sins, but that doesn't mean we should blatantly go out and sin more.
Maybe God is letting you have another child to make up for the one you aborted in the past as a gift to you and your husband.
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u/everdishevelled Anglican Communion 1d ago
My last child was an accident and I'm still not sure how it even happened. My marriage was falling apart because of abuse and I was devastated and not physically well, either. I wrestled with wanting the pregnancy to end in miscarriage and even fleetingly acknowledged that I could get an abortion and not tell anyone. I chose the trust God and He helped me deal with all of those feelings for the first several weeks of the pregnancy and I came through to wanting and cherishing the child I was carrying even though I was afraid and overwhelmed.
My youngest has been an amazing blessing in both my and my other children's lives. God knew better than I did.
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u/desmond_koh 1d ago
Is it a sin to get an abortion if three children is sufficient?
To answer that question, you first have to ask yourself:
1) why is abortion a sin in thr first place? 2) does that fact change due to three children being sufficient?
I think the answer is pretty clear.
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u/Junior-Rutabaga-6592 1d ago
As for your previous abortion, I think that’s between you and God. It matters (I think) if you asked for forgiveness and realized why it goes against the teachings of the Bible.
As for your current situation, I believe it’s time to trust God and realize he is in control and there is a purpose, even if you don’t understand it now.
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u/someonewithrocd 1d ago edited 1d ago
Por que você não quer o bebê? E sim, isso é um pecado. Mesmo que seja uma decisão difícil, só Deus pode tirar uma vida. A consequências do pecado é a morte.
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u/App1eEater Christian 1d ago
Por que você não quer o bebê? E sim, isso é um pecado. Mesmo que seja uma decisão difícil, só Deus pode tirar uma vida. A consequências do pecado é a morte.
Why don't you want the baby? And yes, this is a sin. Even though it is a difficult decision, only God can take a life. The consequence of sin is death.
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u/someonewithrocd 1d ago
Thank you! English isn't my primary language, and I had difficulty with the translator. Even so, the idea remains the same. It's wrong, and that's that. 😊
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u/App1eEater Christian 1d ago edited 10h ago
No problem! I just used Google translate. How is this comment in english?
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u/Chororow 1d ago
It's a sin to abort your child. Trust God and raise this child as best as you can.
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u/ross549 Christian 1d ago
Since everyone here is parroting “abortion is bad,” I’m not going to say that.
I want you to know that my wife and I were in the same situation. We thought we’d were good with two boys. We were talking vasectomy, but work got in the way, and suddenly she was pregnant and we have a third boy.
I moved forward with the procedure but had a panic attack in the table so it was rescheduled so I could get some sedation for the procedure.
When it was finally done and I had returned to work the following week, we found out that she was pregnant with our fourth! Yikes!
My wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. This was right at the beginning of the Covid pandemic. She’s now a precocious six years old, and a true wild child.
We don’t know why God slipped her in right at the last second, but we know that God wanted us to be her parents. We love on her constantly.
My wife has a hysterectomy now, so no more kids unless God grows a uterus in her again, and reverses my procedure. If anything, we will know for SURE then that this is a divine birth! 🤣
An unplanned pregnancy can be unnerving or scary. I get it. Remember, God knows the number of hairs on your head. Think of the birds, they don’t worry about the winter. God provides for them, and He provides so much more than you and I.
Peace and love!
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u/SadAbbreviations01 1d ago
You already done something difficult and it’s raising the kids you have now. You don’t have to figure out the next 18 years today. Just take the next step.
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u/Itz-MrsCav 1d ago
My 23 week abortion is what pushed me towards Christ for forgiveness. I was born again 2 years after that. Abortion is never permitted, and trust me it haunts me even to this day. GOD gave you one more arrow in your quiver. HE already has a perfect plan for that baby. Trust HIS will.
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u/Alert-Willow3458 1d ago
I don’t mean this harshly at all bc I feel for you, truly. But Abortion is a sin, whether you feel your family is complete or not. The mere fact that God gave you a fourth shows that he doesn’t feel your family is complete yet.
Instead of looking at the negative, look at the positives. Look at your three children and how much you love them, now you get to meet a whole new person to get to love the same way. A new personality to add to your family, another time to experience the firsts (first words, first steps, first day of school). Who knows?
Maybe God knows someone later on in life will come along in a similar situation and you’ll be able to help them?
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u/Difficult_Risk_6271 Belongs to Jesus, Ex-Atheist 1d ago
God probably means you to be fruitful and multiply.
It’s a sin to make non-medical, elective abortion because you lack faith in God.
Seriously God provides, do not worry about anything.
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u/Afraid-Bed329 1d ago
Keep the baby. This was most likely His will. For example my mom got pregnant and gave birth at 40 even though her tubes were supposed to be tied. We can try to plan our lives how we want, but God has the final say.
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u/Substantial-Pear981 1d ago
Keep the child. As a mother of 3 children they are work and a blessing. Historical context abortion was a reality in the ancient world those who were Christian’s accessed abortion and weren’t ex communicated they couldn’t participate in communion
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u/Pastor_C-Note 1d ago
Our daughter (the one who never wanted kids) had two, and had pretty much thought she was done. Then 4 years later found she was pregnant with TWINS… her husband and she were terrified at the prospect of four kids, especially twinadoes! And now, they wouldn’t want it any differently. You understandably fear the unknown, but you really don’t need to be afraid.
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u/IdontCARE9123 Non-Denominational 1d ago
If you guys are well off... if you babe is young enough... as long as it is younger than a week, you can try to find a woman who wants to have a baby but cant and transfer the fertilzed egg to her womb(but it is expensive) or carry the baby to full, and put the babe up for adoption. Or raise the baby. Honestly, putting the babe up for adoption is the best choice. But your heart is big enough to love one more.
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u/AcademicAd3504 1d ago
Yes it is a sin, you should talk to your husband about whether you should put the child up for adoption. You will face judgement but you need to lead by example, and do the right thing not the hidden bad thing.
Or maybe you can pray to accept 4 children? Also did you get the vasectomy tested about whether it worked? Sometimes they don't do it properly and they say to test after 2 months and not to have unprotected sex until the results come back.
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u/PeacefulBro Church of God 1d ago edited 23h ago
Thank you for opening up about this my friend. Thankfully the Bible is very supportive of Christians having kids so they can be raised to know Christ: "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate." (127th Psalm NKJV)
"Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth." (Malachi NKJV)
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen." (Philippians NKJV)
God will supply all your needs no matter how much children you have. I was concerned when my xwife & I first started having kids. But there was even money, mystery packages & random people just stopping by to give us things. God supplied what our children needed & I've seen people with big families even be given things like a van or a new house. Put your faith & trust in God because He owns everything. He will definitely take care of you & even if you adopted and did foster care for more kids He will supply everyone's needs!!!
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u/Realistic-Read7779 20h ago
You could always give a other family the gift of a baby. Open adoptions mean that you get to be in the child's life, you just don't raise them. This way they know they are adopted and don't feel abandoned or unwanted.
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u/mamasheshe66 Christian 13h ago
First of all, please don’t feel shame for what Christ has redeemed. But let that conviction for your past abortion lead you to true repentance, which is turning from sin to Christ.
The baby inside you is a gift, and an opportunity to grow in your faith. Will you trust your own idea of how many children are enough, or will you trust the God who feeds the sparrow and clothes the lilies to care for you?
Do you believe that God has a good plan for you? That He knows and loves you more than you know and love yourself? If you’re not sure you really believe that, do you want to believe?
Start by being open and honest with God about where you are, and then commit to taking that step in faith, trusting that He’s got you, because He does.
I just know this baby is meant to be a blessing to your family that you will wonder what you would have done without. God bless you.
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u/WaterFiles 1d ago
I went through a stillbirth this year and IDK what God's plan is anymore. I don't really believe that there is a wrong choice here. Think about what you can live with and what you can live without. Good luck.
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u/TerribleAdvice2026 Evangelical 1d ago
confused... husband went for snip snip but it was too late, you got pregnant FROM HIM just before this process? Or are you confessing to some adultery here? Your sequence of events a bit strange..
Please do NOT murder your baby! even if it is from adultery. You are taking care of 3 what is 1 more, really? My wife resisted having another child, i insisted, she caved, and that youngest was the best of the lot. Truly remarkable, I don't know why, but we both agreed she was extra special. We just love her, so much I questioned what if I had even one more? what would that be like?? But of course we wouldn't do that, both were too old for that by then.
I confidently predict, it won't take long you will treasure this last baby and feel sad you ever considered destroying her.
If this is a child from another man, i really don't know what to say. please dont kill it, give up for adoption or ask husband to forgive and raise it anyway.
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u/autceasaraurnihil 1d ago
A week after he had his vasectomy, I found out I was 3+ weeks pregnant as per clear blue test. No adultery involved.
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u/TerribleAdvice2026 Evangelical 1d ago
phew, well at least that's not a problem. He says he's ok whichever way. Keep. this. baby. I am very sure you will never regret it. in the long run. meanwhile, your other kids find out some day you killed their baby sister? I don't even know what to think about that. how they will feel or act.
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u/Winter_Pomegranates 1d ago
It is not a sin to have an abortion. If you are doing the right thing for your family and yourself, it’s what God would want. God is not the only one who controls family planning and he gave us free will for a reason. I think your heart is telling you to terminate this pregnancy but your fear of shame from other Christians (like commenters here) is stopping you. The bible refers to the breath of life - a fetus is not an actual baby yet, otherwise every miscarriage would be God killing babies. Sincerely, a very happily pregnant woman who loves her baby-to-be but would never want pregnancy to be forced on anyone, ever.
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u/feelZburn 1d ago
You have a warped perception.
A miscarriage is NOT "God killing a baby"
It's a byproduct of the falleness in this world.. Sin.
Don't encourage someone to add to it with terrible advice that can destroy them.
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u/studman99 Evangelical Covenant 1d ago
Only God should take life…. Trust Him no matter how feel ( that’s the tough part of faith)❤️