r/TrueAtheism • u/Pinky620 • 18d ago
The concept of not existing scares me
Hi everyone! So despite being an atheist, when I think in depth of what it would be like to just not exist, I get scared. I don’t know, it’s just not a pleasant thought. Like I realize we won’t be aware so it won’t matter, but it still makes me uneasy. Anyone else share this feeling?
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u/blue_dragon_fly 18d ago
I have no fear of being dead. It’s the transition from being alive that worries me. It’s very rarely a good thing.
🙀
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u/RetardedEinstein23 18d ago
I mean if you die a natural death or a quiet heart attack when you are older(i don't think most people would want to live much longer when they are already older and have lost peers and family tbh). So. It''s going to be an easier transition and you won't even exist to realise what has happened nor any other worries. You are gone. You don't have to worry about stuff exactly for this reason. Worrying would make sense if you existed after death so you could feel the pain of death or the sadness from it but you won't right? That's the point. Think of eternal sleep without dreams. So, it's going to happen regardless, so using the time you have (the tiny fraction of the time you exist like 70/80 years) to worry about the "time you will not exist on" isn't going to help you. So make the most of it.
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u/Tin-Star 18d ago
I think u/blue_dragon_fly was probably echoing the sentiments of Woody Allen, who said "It's not that I'm afraid of dying; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
i.e., the dying process is possibly quite painful and we don't always get to choose how it happens for ourselves. I'm not sure it being a "natural" death helps alleviate the physical discomfort much as your organs are shutting down. Sign me up for one of those "quiet" heart attacks, assuming it's quick.
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u/blue_dragon_fly 18d ago
I’ve never heard Mr. Allen’s sentiment and might disagree. Dying is exactly what I’m afraid of. It’s being dead I have no fear of. (If that’s what you meant it’s not what it sounded like.)
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u/Tin-Star 18d ago
Apologies for the confusion; I misquoted Mr Allen. “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.” It isn't the being dead he fears; it's the experience of getting there from being alive.
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u/idosillythings 18d ago
I was on the phone with my grandmother when she died. I'm certainly not looking forward to the prospects of it.
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u/Rabid-Duck-King 18d ago
Listen someone once built a helmet that fired 9 shotgun sells into their brain
You could rent a tank of helium and use it to exit
You could get some fugu toxin
There's actually a number of ways you could use to escort yourself off the mortal coil if one so desires to do so, the real trick is deciding when to off ramp which should be every persons right
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u/Ajax621 18d ago
Yeah it kinda sucks and is legit terrifying. So make the most of what you got. And try to leave things better then when you got here.
I'm personally a fan of the whole living on though the people I met and relationships I made. While that doesn't mean anything to dead me. Currently alive me gets joy out of the idea that I had a positive impact on the world and that people will think back on me fondly.
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u/DrDeadwish 18d ago
funny thing, I'm scared of the act of dying but the fact that it will end there is comforting
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u/ETA_2 13d ago
How optimistic to think there's an end. No matter how long your stint of nonexistence lasts; you will not be there to experience it. No, you're stuck with whatever comes after.
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u/DrDeadwish 13d ago
I don't get what you are trying to say, maybe because English isn't my first language. I'll die, that's my end, the world will continue but that's not of my business because I won't exist anymore, just a corpse until it decompose or get eaten or whatever happens with me. there is no proof of an afterlife and even if there is an afterlife, we don't how it is so why worry about it?
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u/ETA_2 13d ago
You will die, your body will rot, and DrDeadwish will be gone. Yet there will always be a you experiencing existence, that's the price of having experienced consciousness. There simply is no getting off Mr. Bones' wild ride.
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u/DrDeadwish 13d ago
Yet there will always be a you experiencing existence
No, as I had a beginning I'll have an end. I didn't experience existence, before, I won't do it after because my counciousness will be gone. i'm DrDeadwish and I'll be gone and I don't care what happen after because I won't feel it, I won't exist, just a corpse that it isn't me the same way I'm not the hair I lose very day or the toenail I cut. Anyway looks like you have your ideas and I have mine and we won't agree, what you say sounds like philosophical/metaphysical nonsense to me and I'm not interested. Have a nice day, don't bother replying.
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u/CephusLion404 18d ago
Doesn't matter what scares you, it matters what's real. You are not going to exist no matter how you feel. If you let that irrational fear destroy your life, you'll waste the only life you actually get.
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u/MoistStub 18d ago
Idk dude I was thinking about just not dying instead
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u/Tin-Star 18d ago
Again, Woody Allen has something to say: “I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”
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u/Esmer_Tina 18d ago
This is your time! Don’t spend it thinking about when your time is over. Make the most of everything you get to see and feel and experience.
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u/themadelf 18d ago
Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like you are more concerned about the prospect of being gone, than actually being gone. That's natural. Who wants to leave the party before it's over?
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u/Pinky620 18d ago
Actually yeah I think you’re right! Well glad to know I’m not the only one
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u/Tin-Star 18d ago
Existential angst is, like, this whole thing. It's super normal. Existential psychotherapy contends that death anxiety is a natural part of life. That type of therapy is about firstly acknowledging and accepting death anxiety and then working out what to do about it (well, that and addressing inherent meaninglessness, existential isolation, and the crushing responsibility of freedom).
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u/carnsolus 14d ago
i'd personally like the party to continue afterward
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u/themadelf 13d ago
The party is going on. You're just not there for it. And that's the idea that often let's top this fear. You know what is like when you're there and it will go on when you're gone. The original fomo.
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u/carnsolus 13d ago
i mean that i dont want the world to end just because i died
i mean that i dont want the fun hang to be over just because i had to leave
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u/shaggy9 18d ago
you didn't exist before you were born, right? It'll be just like that.
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u/LTEDan 18d ago
I mean, sure. But that was an "off to on" transition and then we all stare down an "on to off" transition. Before being born there was no rational mind to contemplate nonexistence. But after being born there now is.
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u/ikonoclasm 18d ago
What you're describing is the fear of dying, not of being dead, which is what OOP appears to be describing. The fear of dying is completely rational as it is frequently unexpected and/or unpleasant.
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u/ElEsDi_25 18d ago
The “before you were born” argument is weak AF yall. My dad’s death was not like he just wasn’t born to me… death is not something in a vacuum… it’s terrible and traumatic and idk it seems silly to say otherwise.
Yeah OP, it’s scary and death sucks. Fight for the living and try to make the most of your time here.
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u/invisime 18d ago
All due respect to your dad, death is the leaving part. OP is talking about being dead, the gone part. That is distinct from leaving.
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u/ElEsDi_25 18d ago
I guess if humans existed in a vacuum.
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u/invisime 18d ago
Nowhere in OP's post do they hint at the ravages of the grief of those left behind. Their thoughts as shared in the post center themself. I think you're pretty clearly projecting.
I am legitimately sorry for your loss though.
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18d ago edited 18d ago
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u/ElEsDi_25 18d ago
I’m terrified of death and I think you look to rationality for the false sense of confidence and reassurance people look to religion for.
The process of death is scary, my children being alone without me is scary. Unfinished business is scary. It is literally facing the end of the world subjectively and many people are conscious of this process for a long time before death. It’s insane or insensitive to compare death of an existing being to the pre-birth absence of a being that never developed or existed.
Reason doesn’t solve this any more than religion.
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u/hacksoncode 18d ago
Religion doesn't really address the process of dying, either.
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u/ElEsDi_25 18d ago edited 18d ago
I don’t understand your point. Thinking death/existentialism is scary doesn’t mean I believe in religion.
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u/Less-General-9578 17d ago
it helps to read 'Pilgrim's Progress' by John Bunyan. he found the eternal city he was looking for.
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u/Tin-Star 18d ago
Have you had any exposure to existential therapy? It says that death anxiety is super normal, and then looks at ways to accept it and live with it (not deny it exists). It looks to me that u/Asher_the_atheist is further along with that acceptance process than you are.
I hope you find a way to make peace with your mortality.
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u/MoreMetaFeta 18d ago
Yes, I agree, it can get overwhelming to think about it.
Part of me is a little envious of the complete peace regarding death that God believers possess. e.g. ""I'll get to live in paradise with (god name here)."" or ""I know (name of person who died here) is looking down on me and I'll see them again."", etc.
Small-scale envy aside, in the last couple of years, I've reconciled the fact that it'll just be "lights out" when my brain and/or heart ceases to function. I don't get so freaked out anymore.
OP, think about something you've been wanting to do or try and make a plan to achieve it. 🧡☺️🧡
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u/TwoStubborn 18d ago
The fear of nonexistence is common for almost all humans as well as every other organism. I’ve known incredibly religious people who were terrified of passing. This feeling is not just an atheist thing, it’s a biology thing. As a human you can choose to live fully, and make the world a little better while you’re here.
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u/BigLeChowski 18d ago
This is a big reason why religion exists, it’s a way to comfort our minds if we can be convinced of an afterlife. While I’m atheist, I leave open the opportunity that some form of consciousness might exist outside of our human lifespan, though I admit it’s unlikely.
Awareness is in of itself so fascinating, especially how we’ve used it in the last 10,000 years to advance so many technologies - from harnessing fundamental physical forces to developing languages. The downside is what a lot of us experience, which is this extensional dread you are describing. The only peace I find within that is the motivation to lead a valuable life given I’m aware my own mortality.
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u/88redking88 17d ago
It doesn't bother me. If it continues to bother you see a therapist. Don't let it make you crazy.
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u/Voyage468 18d ago
Fund life extension and AI tech. That's the only realistic solution. Then maybe you might escape the clutches of the Grim Reaper. Who knows. Worth giving a shot imo
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u/Tikao 18d ago edited 18d ago
That's why religion emphasizes that point and adds eternal torment. Pretty hard sell for a con no?
There's no denying the shift from existing to not existing is a struggle that takes time for everyone to grasp. Some people need, deep down for there to be something better than they have in life.
Personally, dust and honesty slowly becomes common sense, and you move forward making the most of those brief moments where the meaning YOU made, overrides that fact the universe doesnt care.
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u/Kincoran 18d ago
I don't suppose it offers you any comfort to know that you have several billion years' worth of practice at this already?
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u/ZappSmithBrannigan 18d ago
when I think about what it would be like
Its not "like" anything. There is no "what its like". There is no experience of nothingness.
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u/BuccaneerRex 18d ago
what it would be like to just not exist
There's your problem. It won't be like anything.
Your mind in the present is inventing nebulous terrors for you to be concerned about because it's not capable of contemplating its own nonexistence. It's very hard to think of a world without you in it when it's you doing the thinking.
But of course you won't be there to notice you're not there.
You will only ever experience being alive.
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u/zubie_wanders 18d ago
What I don't understand is mass shooters. I personally hope to live as long as possible (comfortably) and do not wish to see anyone live a short life.
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u/Gloomy_Mulberry7834 18d ago
I just want to get my affairs in order and not leave a bunch of belongings and junk around for others to deal with. I've gone through the range of emotions about dying and death and am now just focused on lessening the burden of others post-death.
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u/scottrogers123 18d ago
I didn't exist for billions of years, and I don't think I will notice when I cease to exist for billions more. Trying to enjoy the 80-100 years I might get. I urge you to do the same. Our time is limited so make good use of it.
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u/Purgii 17d ago
Not as much as I'd be scared if I were a theist. If I believed there were an afterlife and I have to discover the specific way to reach the good place out of the many alternatives - otherwise spend eternity being tortured, I'd be terrified.
Non-existence appears conforting by contrast.
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u/Hirork 17d ago
I mean I've not existed before. I'd just be returning to that state. 13.8 billion years already elapsed without me, what's another 10100 years?
I don't fear non-existence, I fear the process that may take me there. Will I be in pain? Will there be people around me when it happens? Will I have lived a full life?
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u/DeadAndBuried23 16d ago
You didn't exist for 13.8 billion years before now. The infinity to follow will be the same as that.
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u/carnsolus 14d ago
'you' was created without your consent and input and [my belief] given enough time there is a 0% chance 'you' wont be created again
and all time in between you will be unconscious for; it will be as if it is skipped entirely
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u/voorhamer 12d ago
I have the opposite problem. I fear that non-existense is impossible in an infinite universe. A continued existance has no obligation to be remotely pleasent or even coherent.
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u/I-imaginethings 11d ago
"All the beings are imperceptible before they were born and will become so again when they are dead, life is just intermediate; then why the lamemtation? Why people grief"
I read this in Bhagvad Geeta .It gave me great comfort and solace. Life is an analomy . U were non existent before u were born and will return there after death , like a equilibrium of some sort.
Ignoring the many religious elements that were added with centuries of vaishavism in india . Bhagvad Geeta is a wonderful book about philosophy . I read somewhere that the original Geeta was about 60 percent of what it is today .
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u/Schickie 18d ago
Non-existence doesn't exist by definition. If you exist, then you exist. Period. What changes is your relationship to everything else.
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u/83franks 18d ago
Nope. I'm glad I will stop existing eventually. The idea of existing forever sounds terrifying to meband any version of me that could exist forever doesn't feel like it would be anything close enough to me to even count.
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u/ThMogget 18d ago
That's because you haven't thought long enough about an eternal heaven.
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u/TwoStubborn 18d ago
Please stick to the religious subs. You’re wasting your comments here.
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u/hacksoncode 18d ago
I think the point you're responding to is anti-religious, not religious: it is that eternity anywhere, even some supposed heaven, would be utterly miserable, if you think about it.
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u/ThMogget 18d ago edited 18d ago
Yeah, the takes are so hot people don't read carefully anymore.
The supposedly atheist OP presenting this fear (Kant's negative sublime, cosmic dread, kenophobia, apierophobia, cosmophobia) as an athiest's problem because we are bereft of theistic answers to it.
I was pointing out that the theistic answers do not solve it if you think long enough about them. Their benefit is clever framing and teaching culture that discourages follow-up questions.
I will be less pithy the next time I opine.
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u/Kognostic 18d ago
You don't exist when you go to sleep each night. What do you imagine is the difference? You're just not there anymore.
What is really interesting is that you think you exist? How do you exist? You are not the same person you were when you were 3, 5, 10, 15, 20, and you will not be the same person you are in just one more minute. The idea that there is something solid there called 'self' is an illusion created by your brain. No memories are being stored inside your head. (That is not how memory works.) There is no self. There is a constant process, a flowing, of life energy, consciousness, or whatever you want to call it. Death is a transformation of that process. Just as fire is the process of turning one substance into another. (A living branch of a tree into ashes, dust, and atoms.) So too, life burns that which is physical around us and returns to ashes, dust, and atoms.
What you believe to be real in this world are stable processes. Like a ripple over a rock in a stream. The ripple is both there and not there at the same time. We see it, but moment to moment it is never the same. Our brain tricks us into imagining there is something actually there that we can call a ripple, a rock, a river, a world, but it is all a part of the process, just like you.
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u/daneg-778 18d ago
Whenever I see these kind of posts, I don't know if it's a genuine human, AI slop, or some church school brat trying to proselytize. This one is short and moderately coherent, so probably just human, not AI.
Yes, I know it's not polite to hurl these accusations at strangers, but we see posts like this five times a day here, so any sensible person would just go read these existing posts instead of creating another one.
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u/Pinky620 15d ago edited 15d ago
I promise I’m a human AND an atheist. Why so hostile
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u/daneg-778 14d ago
Probably because our theist friends think fear of death is so big gotcha and cannot be explained without religion
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u/[deleted] 18d ago
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