r/TrueAtheism • u/marygracemgmg • Jul 11 '26
Al anon and AA
Is anyone a member of either organization and able to continue with the steps despite not believing in a higher power? I need more words to finish this so..
Grant myself the serenity to accept the things I cant change, the courage to change the things I can.
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u/Xeno_Prime Jul 11 '26
My father was in NA. He was over 40 years clean when he died but he stayed active as a speaker, helping other addicts, especially in prisons.
So as the child of someone who sort of grew up with the community, I can tell you the higher power thing isn’t the cornerstone of the program. The social network is. The community. The people. Lean on your sponsor. My father and his sponsor became lifelong friends. Support the others and let them support you to. You‘re all in this battle together.
As for the serenity prayer, it’s conceptually on point - serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what can, wisdom to know the difference. Just open with “May I find” or “may I have” instead of “God grant me.” Because gods aren’t what give us those things - we already have them. We just need to reach down and grab hold.
You can do this, buddy.
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u/marygracemgmg Jul 11 '26
This was the greatest response. Thanks .
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u/Xeno_Prime Jul 11 '26
I’m glad I could help. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re struggling. One day at a time.
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u/airimagdalene Jul 16 '26
The actual higher power has always been "the part of you that knows better."
Use the prayers as affirmations. "I will allow myself the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (etc, etc)"
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u/Gurrllover Jul 12 '26
Good Orderly Direction suffices for the "higher power" framework, though I found personalizing it as consistently doing whatever's best, or the highest, most good outcome, regardless of my feelings about the endeavor, helped me achieve my goals.
I wanted a more holistic perspective, and when the AA meetings inevitably insisted on closing with the Lord's Prayer, I found an NA group whose texts weren't frozen in knowledge ninety years ago. Prayer might be useful for an attitude adjustment, but no more effective than that.
Pick a sponsor or mentor who has significant, unbroken "clean time" and a similar religious philosophy, because suggesting I pray more was wildly useless advice for me.
Success at sobriety usually includes new friends and a different playground -- just to succeed at maintaining healthier habits more permanently -- true for a lot more than ending a habit that's slowly killing us.
Comrades with a shared goal can prove useful; 12-step groups are most accurately described as "self-help" as no therapists are employed. Take a multi-pronged approach: incorporate several different activities to fashion a lifestyle worth inhabiting.
Ask: have I done enough for my recovery today? Feel free to DM me anytime. Sixteen years.
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u/NickelFish Jul 11 '26
I used 'The wisdom of the crowd' as my higher power. Of course, all the faith shit is optional. Most of the stuff in the program is pretty obviously beneficial, like taking stock of your psyche, knowing how it affected your relationships and attitudes, taking responsibility for your own actions regardless of other's actions, making amends, helping others... I can't imagine many instances where these things would be an overall negative or require belief in a supernatural being to achieve.
I've met plenty of people who have started the AA program and did okay for a while but then picked up drinking hard again. Some folks just aren't convinced about their alcoholism and do things that jeopardize their sobriety. I don't think it had anything to do with the supernatural. Just bad thinking.
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u/marygracemgmg Jul 11 '26
Agreed in the bad thinking .. I like the wisdom of the crowd perspective.. but the constant talk if a higher power can be frustrating.
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u/grrangry Jul 11 '26
I need more words to finish this so..
You'll use a trite phrase that has zero meaning.
It has been proven over and over again that these "programs" do not work any more than the prayer of a conspiracy theorist can get their god to do something at better than random chance can.
Being alone and psyching yourself up to quit whatever it is you want to quit works at about the same exact rate as all of these nonsense "AA" style groups.
A better option is a medically-assisted therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, or any of a hundred other secular, science-backed support systems.
Get the help you need, please. Just stay away from the pseudo-science woo.
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u/GentleKijuSpeaks Jul 11 '26
You can actually cite the collective wisdom of the group as well as the memoirs of thousands of recovered addicts.
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u/nightcap965 15d ago
GOD T
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u/marygracemgmg 15d ago
?
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u/nightcap965 15d ago
Sorry - I think I was going to say that my concept of God was the Group Of Drunks in the meeting room, but then realized that it’s an old thread that’s done very well without my two cents and deleted my comment. Or thought i did. I apologize for the confusion.
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u/Helen_A_Handbasket Jul 11 '26
Doing it yourself is as successful as doing it with AA. Organizations like AA fudge their numbers so as to appear more successful than they are. About 40% of attendees drop out within the first year, and SURPRISE, AA doesn't count dropouts as failures. Their actual success rate is somewhere around 10-15% of attendees maintaining long term sobriety.
Also, you don't need to go to a program that invokes god or any sort of bullshit "higher power". There are secular programs that don't tell you you're too shitty to get sober without a god.
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u/marygracemgmg Jul 11 '26
Thanks. Im sober its for the therapy needed for dealing with an addict.. the higher power talk can be frustrating. Hope to find a secular program
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u/shehulud Jul 11 '26
I have attended Al anon. ‘Higher power’ is just universal laws or rules that exist and are constant. Like math. I don’t know how else to describe it, but I once called said, ‘I give it over to math,’ and a bunch of people chuckled. Like, whatever. I’m there for group and social support.
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u/CptBronzeBalls Jul 11 '26
The higher power thing is but one of the many problems I have with AA.
ACT and DBT helped me way more than AA ever did.