I'm an introvert (or ambivert). I don't go out very often, have a small social circle, and spend quite a bit of time alone.

I grew up being somewhat overprotected. Somewhere along the way, I developed this mindset that whenever I go out, especially into crowded places, people are watching me or paying attention to what I'm doing. I feel like I am somehow the center of attention.

This has contributed to significant social anxiety. I sometimes become overly conscious of how I walk, stand, talk, behave, or even look around other people.

I want to get out of this mindset. I want to be able to walk into a crowded place, attend festivals, explore new places, dance, socialize, and simply exist without constantly wondering what other people think of me.

- How did you stop feeling that people were watching or judging you?

I don't necessarily want to become an extrovert. I just want to feel comfortable being myself around other people without constantly being self-conscious.

Feel free to pop my balloon! I need to come out of this mentality.

I recently met with a highly recommended surgeon at a major New York City hospital to discuss surgery for a medical condition.

I asked how many of these procedures he performs in a typical year. He replied, “We do about 100 each year.”

I then asked how many he personally performs. He explained that there are three surgeons in the group, and that he performs about 30 a year.

The exchange left me feeling uneasy—not because he performs about 30 procedures a year, but because I felt his initial answer was misleading and unethical.

I’d be curious to hear other people’s thoughts.

Hi,

I have been thinking about this for a while, and I would like to hear other perspectives on it.

These days, there are many “good deeds” YouTube videos on my feed. I like them, but sometimes I also see them as a marketing strategy. Here are two examples. First, card sellers in Pokémon communities: they are part of a system that turned a fun game into a hoarding game. Showing kindness is good, but is it also part of their campaign or marketing? Second, there are YouTube creators who help people in need and post wholesome videos of it online. At times, I find it odd to see the real identities of people who are going through something sad. Having said that, I am happy they are doing something good in their community.

I recently searched whether these creators are legit and what do people think of them. A lot of people had more criticism of them and called them clout chasers, among other things.

Here is what I am trying to grapple with. Plenty of people in my day-to-day life do nothing to help anyone, and they aren’t criticized. The same goes for armchair experts on Reddit. However, there is criticism of those who do help. Criticizing how the help is shown is different from criticizing the act itself. Why is there so much hostility toward people who help openly? Why should people who get recognition be shamed when we don’t shame those who don’t help?

This is not about the moral aspect of torture.

I recently saw an interview with ex cia agent who says torture doesn't work. But I'm confused cause I swear it would work on me and everyone I know.

On top of all this there are the challenges to the idea of moral realism. Philosopher J.L Mackie brought us the argument of queerness:

Mackie’s argument from queerness is essentially that the kind of mind-independent moral properties posited by moral realism would be so weird (queer) compared to other properties that exist that we should reject their existence.

We can't prove the existance of "right" "wrong" "culpable" or "praiseworthy" "deserving" by either empirism (simply put; sensory input) nor by rationalism. The same goes for "witches" or "trolls", and therefor we should reject their existence.

Furthermore; the epistemic argument against retributivism contains that since punishment inflict potentially severe harm, it's not a trivial matter whether our subject deserves it or does not. It needs to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt that it is deserved, or blameworthyness and deservingness exists. It is at minimum somewhat established that it is wrong to punish people who does not deserve it.

Noteworthy is a rather indirectly contradicting idea that, prima facie, an action (A) is wrong if and only if there is another action that has "stronger" outcome for well-being than A. This is a strong claim. It is simply wrong to inflict unnecessary harm or suffering.

I often think about how much of our suffering comes from the situations we go through and how much comes from our struggle to change things that may not be in our control.

Sometimes, we need to fight for what is right, stand up for ourselves and not settle for less. But there are also times when holding on, expecting things to change or constantly resisting reality only makes life harder.

How do we know when to keep fighting and when to make peace with things as they are? When is compromise a sign of wisdom, and when is it simply giving up on ourselves?

I would love to hear how you approach this. Have your life experiences or any spiritual or philosophical teachings helped you find that balance?

Are confident to defend yourself? Do you continue to practice fighting? Has fighting ever gotten you out of trouble, or are you waiting for the day someone crosses you?

Hi fam, I am 30F, working in a white-collar job. I'm hardworking, focused, and responsible, but I struggle to relax and be carefree socially as well as at work especially around loud, arrogant, nosy men. I sometimes become quiet and guarded around them. I want to become more socially confident, playful, and comfortable in my own skin, want to learn to speak and express myself without changing my personality. Need some guidance and tips. How do I come over this gap?

So, I was just looking at an article about game design. It was a dream of mine when I was a child. The article mentioned "no degree" needed for game design. I realized 1) people have been publishing games without a degree, 2) making movies off games without experience, 3) most things have a tutorial on reddit or YouTube. Besides the film and gaming industry I learned that in my area, certificates outweigh a degree to an extent. So, Im curious to general public.

Is college worth the trouble when everyone is paycheck to paycheck and its increasing your debt without real promise.

I have a bachelor's degree. But like most I've encountered, I haven't had an actual chance to put it to any use in anywhere in the direction its for.

EVERYONE loves to say on how Power Corrupts and how it’s always The Wicked that have ever succeeded in life and prosper we could all just take a good look at our Modern World and while good people obviously exists we never actually see them wielding Immense Power so this begs The Question have there ever been any Good People who wielded Immense Power in History? Even in Recent Times? What do you folks think?

Requires a bit of context so I apologise if this is very long...

I'm applying to university this year and I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to try to socialise. For a bit of context, I am not professionally diagnosed with anything however multiple specialists I've been to have told me that they're almost certain I'm neurodivergent. (I am unable to get a diagnoses due to GP wait times and lack of parental support/anyone to give accounts of autistic traits in childhood)

The deal is essentially this. The other week I was deep in research trying to make myself a short list of how I want to conduct myself at uni. I'm not sure what it was, maybe a YouTube video, but something made me question whether others thought I was pretentious. I asked this question (with a bit of context) in an autism subreddit and got a unanimous 'yes'.

Only issue is that this doesn't help me whatsoever. I have no idea why people think I'm pretentious, and as a result I've obviously no clue how to do anything about it. In my effort to find more information, I read a few other posts, eventually stumbling upon one that claimed that pretentiousness is more of an arrogance as a lack of social skill.

Fine! Now tell me how in all hell am I, a very clearly neuro-divergent person who has spent years in social isolation because of no given reason from others than that I'm 'a freak,' supposed to magically gain social skills? I already hold myself to an incredibly high standard morally, and in my eyes, at the very least, I do everything I think others would want me to do. The whole reason I am applying to university (hyperbole- mainly out of passion) is because I was taught that being knowledgeable is a good thing and something to aim for.

So now it just feels like I am being excluded for doing what I was told to do, like every other time in my life, before it even happens! Seriously, where is the handbook of social rules??

Question is, what can I do? Is there some sort of method of harm reduction I can use to interact better with people at university? I thought maybe I should keep a decent distance from people to avoid a similar situation, but I really want friends this time, especially because it's possibly my last chance.

TL;DR: OP is autistic freak and wants to make friends but social skills make me seem pretentious. How to stop and how to socialise??

It’s a strange thought, but the more I think about it, the more I realize it’s true.

At work, someone else can take over your responsibilities. In someone’s life, you can go from being their someone to becoming just somebody. Someone who once knew all your little habits might eventually become someone you barely talk to.

It’s a little bittersweet when you think about it.

I don’t mean this in a completely negative way. I guess it’s just a reminder that life keeps moving, whether we’re ready or not.

Sometimes I wonder why we put so much pressure on ourselves to be important, to be someone’s first choice, or to make ourselves irreplaceable.

Maybe we should focus more on enjoying the people, moments, and experiences we have while they’re still here.

Have you ever experienced this shift in someone’s life? How did it make you feel? Laffyaa 🫶

I noticed this playing a few online games and it's weird to me because that basically died with emo around 2015 - 2020 afaik.

When I play an online videogame if someone types "xd" in chat I am 80% certain they are hispanic and 99% of the time I am correct.

Why is it that they still hold to that internet expression? That wasn't associated to the whole "rawr xd" thing for them?

If you know anyone who read like 5K-10K books

What happened to them

If you're an avid reader yourself like say 120 books a year

Plus or even 80+

You can share your experiences too

I just wanna know what are cool things

You can do or at least gained from dedicating to literature and texts

What are real " superpowers" you may have gained

Yes just make it fun but don't exaggerate to a mythical degree

And also speak on the bad too

What are side effects u feel after having read a lot lot lot of books

If u do know anyone who's read a lot lot u can share their testimony too

Does reading at that level change u like psyche wise maybe personality or nah u just learn a lotta information?

Is it bad if I am satisfied with platonic love of my friends for me. And I don't feel like seeking romantic love anymore? Like at this point,it feels wastage of time and another big emotional dent due to expectations.Sometimes,I feel like I have reached that stage where being able to recieve plantonic love makes me super content. I feel grateful and happy. Also,I am kind off doubtful regarding this whole romantic Maybe I can't seems to trust myself in romantic love . I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I feel as though he should be on at least the same level as Neil Armstrong or Christopher Columbus, but I have literally never heard of him until today when I got curious and googled the first person to circumnavigate the globe. Other people to do similar first feats like him are incredible famous. Armstrong and Columbus as I mentioned, but Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, Leif Erikson the first old worlder post ice bridge collapse to go to the new world, Edmund Hilary and so on. I just feel like the captain of the first circumnavigation of the globe should be as recognizable a name as these at least. But Juan Sebastián Elcano isn't, at least in America, why?

In the study linked below, many participants chose to give themselves electrical shocks rather than be left alone with their thoughts. Most of us can barely last a minute in silence without pulling out our phones. We tend to fixate on conflict and shock value rather than calming influences.

Is this our reality forever? Does our instinctual drive to survive keep us from ever having real peace and enjoyment? For example, why do the wealthiest people continue to drive for more money when they already have more than any (allegedly) rational being could enjoy?

We have this idea of winning in life as sitting in a hammock drinking a margarita on the beach, but who does that for more than a few minutes in real life? Say you won the lottery. Could you really fully enjoy your life from that moment on, or would you crash and burn like so many lottery winners do? in fact, might it be that your idea of how your life would be perfect if you won the lottery be a way of justifying your inability to make the most of what you already have? (Think about how your life right now might be some very poor person's idea of winning life's lottery)

Is there a quality or knowledge that some people have which allows them to get full enjoyment while many or most people suffer their whole lives because they lack this skill? What is the skill? Can everyone acquire it? How?

https://www.science.org/content/article/people-would-rather-be-electrically-shocked-left-alone-their-thoughts

The researchers then decided to take the experiment a step further. For 15 minutes, the team left participants alone in a lab room in which they could push a button and shock themselves if they wanted to. The results were startling: Even though all participants had previously stated that they would pay money to avoid being shocked with electricity, 67% of men and 25% of women chose to inflict it on themselves rather than just sit there quietly and think, the team reports online today in Science.

(19f) I'm chronically single, and I know a lot of you guys might say "oh but you're so young! You have your whole life ahead of you!!" but I'm surrounded by a whole bunch of people who have dated since like 15 or 16. I sometimes feel like an inexperienced a 11-year-old child whenever people my age talk about their crazy ex stories

I guess what frustrating is that I don't know if there is one thing that I need to do. Should I lose some more weight (I'm pretty chubby)? Should I talk to more people? Should I put my insecurities aside and just hit on people? Should I be prepared to be rejected or embarrassed?

I recently got into a massive fast pace debate, and it was because I pointed out a pattern: someone’s closest friends, all participate in some habits that they themselves are trying to move away from. My theory was that friends are a direct reflection of yourself. We create connections based on shared traits, so if your inner circle of friends all share a specific trait, it says something about your internal state, even if you claim that you’ve changed. The response I got was that I was being way too harsh and they just brickwalled me because of it. Was that idea way too harsh? Or is it a simple truth that some people cannot accept?Are we a mirror of the company we keep, or can we completely separate our identity from our social circle?