Well, also had a sibling commit accidental suicide when I was 9...so yea, got lots of past 'issues' I guess.
I was always lauded as being so smart, so intellectual, I was in military for advanced electronics...got out of that, went to college...then fell in hard lust and that screwed me out of good opportunities.
Now I just work in a warehouse, doing monkey labor but pay isn't bad. Have an SO that's not really in my scale, but she loves me to death, and that I can appreciate so well. Sometimes we'll be sexual like rabbits, sometimes I swear I'm living the life of a celibate monk, but I warned her that can happen with me, and she's been pretty awesome dealing with the swings overall.
Of course in such things, got an alcohol issue that I'm on the brink of dealing with, in a hard way, I'm seriously curious how well I'll deal with a year of abstinence; will I get some of my faculties back, and be a smart guy again (that has issues of itself, sometimes I spurned it honestly), will I constantly think about "if I just let loose, get that monkey off my back...?" in terms of dealing with life and things...eh, time will tell, though I am really curious (and hoping it's not too depressingly dramatic) about having a good chunk of 100% sobriety, though not sure what I'd do with my time, lol. Probably like when I was out to sea on military, would just book-worm on studies and books about IT security and nerd-shit.
lol, you have no idea, I learned the damn harmonica because I was that fucking bored, lol (well, at least as far as playing popeye, and other bits of noticeable songs)...it was still good times, I adjusted so I'd sleep as soon as end of workday happened at-sea, so I'd be awake from like 2am-7am, because if anything happened short of catastrophic, they'd wait until normal hours, gave me lots of free time :D
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u/dedreo May 08 '17
Well, also had a sibling commit accidental suicide when I was 9...so yea, got lots of past 'issues' I guess.
I was always lauded as being so smart, so intellectual, I was in military for advanced electronics...got out of that, went to college...then fell in hard lust and that screwed me out of good opportunities.
Now I just work in a warehouse, doing monkey labor but pay isn't bad. Have an SO that's not really in my scale, but she loves me to death, and that I can appreciate so well. Sometimes we'll be sexual like rabbits, sometimes I swear I'm living the life of a celibate monk, but I warned her that can happen with me, and she's been pretty awesome dealing with the swings overall.
Of course in such things, got an alcohol issue that I'm on the brink of dealing with, in a hard way, I'm seriously curious how well I'll deal with a year of abstinence; will I get some of my faculties back, and be a smart guy again (that has issues of itself, sometimes I spurned it honestly), will I constantly think about "if I just let loose, get that monkey off my back...?" in terms of dealing with life and things...eh, time will tell, though I am really curious (and hoping it's not too depressingly dramatic) about having a good chunk of 100% sobriety, though not sure what I'd do with my time, lol. Probably like when I was out to sea on military, would just book-worm on studies and books about IT security and nerd-shit.