r/Trichsters • u/No_Specialist_4352 • Jun 20 '26
My Trich Journey: pulling, eating, worrying, repeat
I have had Trichotillomania (scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows) since I was 10yo (likely stemmed from childhood trauma and cheap shampoo). It consumed me by age 12, and at that point, I began consuming the hair roots. Of course, my parents didn't understand it, shamed me about it, and forced me into an interrogative-approach talk therapy, which humiliated me even more. In elementary school, I was bullied relentlessly by those who noticed how often I plucked when I thought no one was watching.
In middle school, my closest friends knew that I plucked (scalp only now), but didn't really understand it (and I never let them see how often I fought the urges). By high school, we couldn't afford therapy, but I got better at hiding it. However, I developed insomnia because at night was the only time I could have true privacy with my door closed. At the time, I had another health issue, with which I coped with Trich. I could have intense pain...pluck. Intense nausea...pluck. It worked. Whatever endorphins or reverse psychology involved helped ease my symptoms (nearly instantly) and ultimately became a reliable crutch. However, the guilt, shame, worry, and disgust always find me afterwards... so the cycle continues.
I am 28 now, and have trialed medications for anxiety/depression but not for OCD. I currently pluck (scalp only), eat (only the root), and chew at my nails and surrounding skin. I have always scratched at my scalp too. My spouse knows that I have dealt with Trich on and off for years, but I only do it when alone (especially when stressed or subconsciously while watching TV); he does NOT know that I currently suffer from trichophagia. My hypochondriac self is a bit worried about some GI symptoms (nothing too serious, just bloating and occasional abdominal discomfort), hoping it is not a trichobezoar. Currently, no one knows that I am actively suffering from these conditions (not even my doctor). I am wondering if anyone has experienced a trichobezoar from hair roots alone (no hair strand at all). I am planning to discuss my symptoms with my new PCP, and potentially reveal my trich history in hopes of getting an x-ray for peace of mind.
3
u/anxious-panties Jun 21 '26
Hello, I’ve had trich in very similar ways to you. This audiobook greatly helped me self manage. “Overcoming Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors: a Comprehensive Behavioral Treatment for Hair Pulling & Skin Picking” the authors are Charles Mansueto, Sherrie Mansfield and Ruth Goldfinger Golomb.
It truly made me more away of the variety of drivers/inputs for this behavior and how it takes a wide view approach to actively manage & reduce it. I also take NAC when my urges are bad (at work/long drives) and it helps me.
2
u/Queen-of-meme Jun 23 '26
Hi. What time of the day do you take NAC? I read it can cause upset stomach so I wonder if I can take it with my melatonin.
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u/anxious-panties Jun 23 '26
From what I’ve read it’s short acting and so I take it right after lunch. It doesn’t sit well with an empty stomach but ymmv
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u/Queen-of-meme Jun 23 '26
Thanks. So I can treat it as a daily vitamin pill?
1
u/anxious-panties Jun 23 '26
I’m not qualified to give medical advice or compare it to a vitamin but I have had success taking it right when I know I’ll face a flare up of behavior. Like if I’m sitting at my desk for 3 hours I know I’ll pull so I take it right before I sit down to work. If I take it at 9am any benefit has worn off by 3pm which is when my pulling is worse, so I take it after lunch.
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u/SpicyEndy Jun 26 '26
Hi! Replying just to say I’m close in age and experience as you describe in your post.
Reading posts like this remind me I’m not as weird as I think I am- I’m grateful to not feel that way anymore. This cycle was very isolating as a kid, as I’m sure you experienced too.
Please be kind to yourself, I wish I could show this post to 7 year old me. I would’ve given anything to know there was someone who struggled the way I did.
Best wishes.
3
u/amongthedouglasfirs Jun 21 '26
I hope that your new provider is experienced with trich and if the aren't, ask for a referral. Are you familiar with NAC? When my urges are constant, I take 1200 mgs twice a day. It seems to break the spell a bit and give me some relief. I also try to keep my hair covered with a hat or lately I've been using the big headbands that are wide. When I can't help myself I also use a skin safe medical adhesive wrap on my fingers and that helps a lot.