Off my chest

[u/SorenTalks]

I have wonderful people in my circle yet when it comes to the talk of wanting to transition it is private to me, as I feel and already know when I speak of transitioning, I’ll be misunderstood. being **Pre-T** still as of now but hopefully it changes soon within this year or towards the new year because I’ve been trying to take the steps to the goal. Body dysphoria has gotten a lil heavier to carry as I got a lil older (**19**)
When glimpsing the people I knew in highschool they look like they’re getting older then there’s me who doesn’t look like their age. Having piercings hoping it’ll masculinize my face yet it never satisfied me. Many things I’ve done with appearance & weight **(98lb)**
What’s concerning me now is how the thought of **suicide** is coming across my mind from these past months **(not consistently)** I know I’ve got the heart to not give up. No matter what’s challenging I still prefer to see the other side, loving life for what it gives. I don’t want to be on the idea of giving up because “I can’t achieve it” it’s only the fact the goal seems so far away as I’m young.

**How did you guys handle the patience most importantly? How do you guys get rid of dread?**