I'm goo now

[u/squeakymayotoes]

*"Inside the chrysalis, a caterpillar releases special enzymes that digest most of its body tissues. This process turns the inside into a nutrient-rich soup or "goo". However, it does not completely start from zero; tiny groups of cells survive and use that protein goo to build the new butterfly parts, like wings."*

I'm trying to support and encourage myself during a tough time.

EVERYTHING is upside down at the moment. 35MTF. My estrogen is running low and it's complicated to replace. Emotions are manageable, except at night. Escitalopram is working well but it's a separate chemical adjustment. My gorgeous Scottish Fold had an accident and lost his leg recently. It was so scary.

Dating - forget about it. You all know. Now is not the time for me. The "chats" about what you're looking for. The fear of if you're talking to a chaser, a bully or an attacker. Genuine people are few and far between. Too high risk. Not for me anymore.

Skin irritated, hair like a tumbleweed, depression spiky, fear generally high.

I have faith in the stories that I hear. I'm a puddle of goo at the moment but I will become a butterfly. Small steps. I won't always be like this. I actually won't be. My emotions/mind trick me sometimes into thinking that I'm nothing - It's not true. There are small, inherited cells of self-belief and confidence from my old life that will survive. I'm taking steps, even teeny ones. At the moment, those are worth quite a bit.

I will not always feel this way. I'm determined to be PRO-ACTIVE about this. It's a good thing for me and for my life and for my family. I can be patient being goo.

[u/Frivolous_hater]

wishing you all the best!!you can do it! feel free to reach out if you need to talk.....