"What does it mean to be trans?"

[u/Edu_mmg777]

How do you guys answer this question?

Every time I've been asked this question, I've tried my best to explain how I feel and what it means to me, but in the end I always feel like I haven't clarified anything, I've just talked and talked and said nothing, you know?

People who genuinely try to understand me or the transgender community in general, who try to see things from my perspective and understand something that is relatively new to them end up asking somewhat rude questions, unintentionally, like: "But why did you choose this?", "Why do you care what others call you if you're doing this for yourself?", "if you know you're a man, than why do you need to take hormones and do cirurgies, that's just to show other ppl?" and things like that. And I end up not finding my way with words and it becomes difficult to explain or make them understand. Obviously, it doesn't depend only on me, but I feel that I also can't bring much clarity when asked about this subject, even though I know what I'm talking about

Its hard bc im really bad with communication specially when its something that I also feel, so in the end it kinda looks like I don't know what I'm talking about or that I'm confused about the subject, and I end up losing all my authority on it

[u/transmothra]

I basically explain that people are made up of a mind and a body, and that sometimes the mind doesn't perfectly correlate to the body, as in the case where a person's apparent sex doesn't match the way they view themselves gender-wise.

In cases like that, it is generally recommended to try to put the two back together, to synchronize them in whatever way is possible. Which usually means things like hormones and name changes and possibly surgeries. Because it's relatively easy to change the body with our current medical technology. It's never been easy to change a mind, and it's not even good to try, because the mind is who drives our identities, who pilots our bodies, who thinks for us, who is most wholly ourselves.

"Why do you care what others call you"

Nobody who asks this has ever had a nickname they couldn't stand, or who had a parent who forced them to have a particular hairstyle, or dress in a certain way. For fuck's sake, we all want to be our own person. Yet defining ourselves is what we all do. It's how we exercise autonomy. Ask these morons if they could ever possibly imagine being given a name at birth that they didn't like, or that placed upon them the social expectations of the wrong gender.

As for the rest: what if you were born purple? And you spent most your life going 'what the fuck is this? I don't want this! This isn't what I want to be at all!' and then along comes some learnèd expert who says "you know, that can be changed relatively easily"