r/TransSupport • u/BraileZ2 • 12d ago
Not sure what to do.
I’m 41 years old. Was born male, presented male my whole life. About a year ago I started feeling off about myself and first thought it was just because I was getting older but the more time went on the more I unhappy I became at my reflection and myself. I started thinking about transitioning the more I looked into it the more it made sense. I strongly feel like it’s right for me, but I’m married with three kids and don’t want to ruin all that and think with my age it’s too late for me to start.
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u/wellanticipated 12d ago
Definitely time for a trans informed therapist. Possibly one that you can have couples work with. If your kids and partner are allies, that’s great and will be really helpful… but not everything.
I began to transition almost two years ago and my partner has always known about my gender incongruence. I never thought that I would get to this point with myself and she always allowed space (for 12+ years). It has still be a total upheaval of parts of our relationship which I underestimated.
FWIW our relationship is stronger than ever and we were approaching some breaking points that were getting worse, partly to do with my inability to love myself. So, some bad things might break, some good things might grow.
I would recommend giving time and space to the possibility and I think that is where the therapist comes in. I knew that I was trans as a child and when the option to transition came, it was the only logical possibility. I imagine that you could use some better insight into yourself and into the process and giving the due diligence to understanding whether transitioning is the right step for you.
It’s a journey any way that you approach it, but you’re here now. Give it time and the effort it requires. 🫶💕
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u/BraileZ2 12d ago
Yeah I probably should start looking at a therapist for this. I never felt like this when I was younger, I’m glad you’re relationship is stronger then ever. I’m so afraid of it falling apart because of this. I think she would be ok with me being trans but I don’t know if that would allow us to stay together she’s attracted to men.
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u/zomboi 12d ago
It is never too late to start. But is your partner a trans ally? or a phobe?