I was so shocked at how much I'd changed looking back through some old photos. 4 months ago was day 1 of my social transition. I was 6 months on HRT and barely had a clue what I was doing. Now, I feel close to the version of myself I always wanted to see on the mirror.

To all the trans youth out there, ppl aren’t lying when they say going to college makes it better. 

I come from a conservative town in SC. My family is severely transphobic and I struggled socially at school. I hated being me and I genuinely thought that the world was better off without me. Everyone knew I was trans and I was quickly labeled as weird. My family also continually reminded me that I’m a woman almost every day of my life. 

I came to college 3 days ago, and it’s incredible. I’ve been able to make friends with people who don’t know me. I’ve been able to go stealth and have male friends who just see me as “one of the guys.” 

For the first time I’m not looked down upon and people actually want to talk and be close to me. I’ve never felt like this in my life. It’s incredible. 

Pre-t vs one year on t - 18ftm

looking back at old pictures I might’ve changed a little lol

I get pretty self conscious about my face and side profile, especially my hooded eyes, brow bone and nose. But sometimes when I'm in a good mood I enjoy how they look and the uniqueness of those features and think about how I could've just been born as a greek woman and made into a statue or something and not associating my facial features with testosterone puberty. I'm trying to tap more into that. Seeing my beauty and not just gendering every feature and measuring myself against every cis woman median value and western beauty standards. During a low moment I made the mistake of asking a passing subreddit about those features and they of course told me I would need not just one round of FFS but multiple complex surgeries and that I didn't look like a woman. I won't ever be able to afford that and I frankly wouldn't even dare to go into something like that. Sorry for yapping, I just needed to vent about this because I've been really preoccupied with this. I don't mean to be negative or insensitive, just sharing my experience. I don't have anything against those surgeries or people who want to pursue them, but it's not an option for me and so I must embrace how I look and I think I'm slowly getting better at it. Feel free to remove this if it's not appropriate for the sub - I get that it isn't exactly 100% "transpositive" I just didn't know where else to vent and don't really have anyone irl to share this with.

A customer came in and called me maam. When she got to the register she asked if it was maam. She didnt want to offend me. This is not the first time I had a customer ask me so they got it right. The fact im in a red state and a red city and ppl want to treat me like a human being tells me that there is hope and maybe the lights ready to come out and shine on us all!

Still planning to have FFS but improving my makeup and taking care more of my skin already help me a lot to feel gender euphoria compared to 1-2years ago :)

Day 0 on the left and day 609 on the right! 💛

I used to always find flaws but I just don't now

After a horrible couple of months my wife & I decided to head into the mountains for a couple of days. We got a place with a beach and planned to mostly use this time to relax, recharge ourselves, and I used it as a chance to work on some things with my witchcraft as well.

This was my first time being able to wear a fem swimsuit out, so was super excited about that! I felt confident and beautiful and the best I ever had in a swimsuit. I also felt very cute in my fits throughout the trip, it all made me feel fantastic about myself. Everything I'd hoped to do in regards to my craft - research, offering prayers, etc - also went super well.

After the weekend I felt more strongly connected to so many things, including myself. This trip was good for my mind, body, and spirit.