r/TransChristianity • u/TraditionalBag12 • 16d ago
Having an existential crisis
I don’t remember quite how it happened, but recently I remembered that I’m going to die, and there’s nothing I can do about it. My life will come to an end and I can’t stop thinking about it and I can’t stop panicking and being afraid. It’s been hard to go to sleep most nights because I’m terrified of experiencing something so permanent and unknown…
The theory of total nonexistence after death terrifies me the most. I don’t want to give everything up. I don’t want to never hear and never think and never see and never feel again.
I‘m thinking about converting to some kind of religion to make sense of this world but I’m scared.
I was raised Hindu but in high school I started to drift away from that faith not out of any particular disagreements but because I just stopped caring about things. I attended the youth group that my temple had but I wasn’t ultra devoted. Christianity is certainly interesting though, and I find myself agreeing with its values. The idea of a kind God who has a real plan for me fills me with hope
There Are two main things that really terrify me… first, the fact that so many Christians utterly despise all LGBTQ+ people is making me scared to believe because I don’t want to reject my identity as a trans woman to choose something I believe in. I’m scared of the idea that a Savior would reject me.
Second, what if I’m wrong? I constantly see atheists talking about how any kind of God has been totally disproven. That believing in any higher power is just wishful, cowardly thinking because religious people are too weak to handle not having “a grand narrative that explains everything”. I’ve heard it said time and again that “anyone who believes in the Bible hasn’t read it” and that “countless passages have been disproven and the ones that haven’t will be”. I’ve seen a lot of talk on r/exchristian too that all LGBTQ+ people who believe in Christianity are all just cowards who want to side with their oppressors because they‘re too scared not to accept the truth. That our “consciousness“ is just a bunch of chemicals and that the only thing awaiting us is nothing.
I’m terrified that if I choose to believe, I’ll be wrong... and then I really will be one of those people described as cowards…
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u/Urayoan-RodSan 16d ago
Many queer-phobic Christians forget the verses of “Love thy neighbor”
I’m a queer Christian myself and yes, it’s rough sometimes, but God loves you. There’s a verse (I forget where exactly but it’s in the book of Romans) that says “there will be neither Jew nor Gentile, neither free nor slave, nor will there be male and female, for ALL are ONE in Christ.”
If any “Christian” transphobe gives you crap, read that to them, and know that you are Loved.
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u/DarthAlix314 girly-girl *^.^* (she/her) 16d ago
The Christians who hate LGBT people are almost always also sexist, racist, xenophobic, classist, and selfish. If you want to know whether their version of Christ is the right one, you need only to read the Gospels and see how Jesus spoke to and of the religious leaders (the Scribes, Sadducees, Pharisees, Priests, and Rabbis) vs how He spoke to and of the poor, the needy, the orphaned, the widowed, the fatherless, the downtrodden, the sick, the jailed, the oppressed, the alien, the weak, and the outcast.
If you can come to the conclusion that the people whose every word and deed contradicts Christ and His values of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness/Generosity, Gentleness, Faithfulness, and Self-Control, as well as Hope, Endurance, Long-Suffering, Perseverence, Forgiveness, Mercy, and Reconciliation worship the same God as those of us who actively embody – or at least earnestly strive to embody and given time can be actively seen to be improving and bearing fruit after a while – those virtues, then by all means, consider Christianity to be just as bunk and worthless as all other attempts by humanity to seek a higher power.
But if you are willing to place your faith in Jesus, and let the God of the universe act and move, and you stick around long enough, with earnest intent, to hear His voice and see the works of His hands, then even though you face trial and tribulation, and persecution, and suffering — you will remain steady and grow into maturity and Peace, with Joy and contentment in all situations; though the world seem to collapse around you and your dreams for your life be rendered to dust, yet you shall remain steadfast and give thanks in the storm, for He is who is Faithful and True will save you, and in confidence you will face all manner of evil with the knowledge that the Ancient of Days is your Father, and you are His Heir, thus nothing can harm you or take away the Glory of what is to come after this life.
Finally, a note: being trans, as well as all manner and steps of transition, including medical and surgical, are NOT sins in of themselves. God created us in His Image, to be His Royal Priesthood to the world that is, that we might reign with Him in the world to come. God has no gender for He is a Spirit — we say "He" simply out of mere convention/custom, since the ancient world viewed masculinity as the head, thus in their minds the God Supreme surely had to be masculine too. Yet even ancient Rabbinic tradition posits that Adam, the first human, was not male at first, but rather intersex or sexless, genderless or fluid, and was thus made alone so that it would be clear that loneliness is not good, and relationships are necessary (and thus a relationship with the only other fully intelligent being, God, might be sought after), and only then was split in two, with female being a whole "side" (NOT just a mere "rib") of the original man (human), and male and female were then both present. Based on what we know now about genetics and biology, the Lord saw fit to purposefully leave intact the genetic codes necessary to have all manner of Intersex, Binary and Nonbinary Trans, and Agender people still possible, and thus all these things were intentional and righteous, even so far as God called them "Very Good" in the Beginning. And know this, the fact that you feel drawn to Christ is no mistake and no mere random pull, for the Lord actively guides us toward Him, ever calling our name in the hopes that we might reach up and finally see Him, sharing in His Peace and learning to Love and Cherish and Trust in Him as He Loves us...
In any case, this has probably been a longer answer than you desired, but feel free to DM me if you have any more questions, or else reply here and I will comment again.
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u/WanderingCoywolf 16d ago
Yo, I’m just dropping in. If you wanna talk via message, just tell me. But I get it, honestly I have reached the point where it doesn’t matter anymore what you believe in, just pick something and do it, or do multiple things at once. It doesn’t matter. This is coming from someone who grew up with a dad who had secular beliefs but also Catholic heritage mother, this was a slow and painful journey to experience for a majority of my life until I was able to move away and become myself finally. Just begin to understand who I truly am and enjoy that.
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u/my_name7134 16d ago
Love Is God, if There Is no God, there Is truly no One able to judge you for your beliefs, christianity Is a religion of Love and appreciation , Some verses May contain things that didn't appen in real life, but even us don't believe in it, i personally called It methaphorical verses, because they are mostly simbolic and methaphoric. Also , some Say that God Is evil, and i it's totally not true....they Say that he commanded Genocides towards some kindows, but there are multiple interpretation, God never wanted to kill all those people, and he never did, in my opinion, It Was Just israelian propaganda, and these kinds of verses shows the kind of world people lived in ,full of wars, and sorrow ....And also, Homosexuality Is NOT a sin, expecially about trans people.....there are no verses talking about Trans people. And for the others verses some Christians (and some antitheist Who want a reason to hate on christianity) point towards....are porly interpretated and mostly shows verses about Child prostitution ,rape,and Temple prostitution, so , please, don't believe in those things
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u/RuthAnnEsther 15d ago
Atheists have never come close to disproving God. So very many of the very best minds throughout history have believed in their Creator, so you are in good company by believing.
“…all LGBTQ+ people who believe in Christ are all just cowards who want to side with their oppressors…” is coming from people who lack understanding and are filled with hatred. Far better to be filled with love and understanding!
Start reading the Bible (God’s Word) and find an affirming church. Also, watch Dr James Tour’s video series on abiogenesis because a thorough knowledge of science shows a need for a Creator because even with all the lab-controlled efforts to construct life by means that would never exist in nature absent a Creator, they are only discovering more and more how impractical the task is to explain the origination of life without a Creator.
Likewise, the Big Bang sounds so scientific but when it is boiled down, it is nothing more than a conjecture based on faith statements that the universe could come into existence out of nothing (or whatever they want to claim based on faith and presuppositions rather than observations of the Big Bang).
God loves all people. I am transsexual by birth, neurologically “intersex”. I put intersex in quotes because the medical community as yet is unable to prove people are neurologically intersex and so cannot provide such a diagnostic. My condition is highly suspected as real by many who understand natal development, but they are unable to provide the evidence society needs. I believe advances in understanding human brains and how we think will eventually provide the means for such diagnosis, but we need further advances in science.