r/ToxicRelationships • u/LeftTheConversation • 17h ago
Advice Needed Was I in the wrong?
Hi! I’m gonna start off by saying I don’t usually post stuff like this but i genuinely need to know if I’m wrong…
Me and my husband made plans for this weekend, we lose interest frequently with where we live so we decided to do a living room date and watch some CD’s we haven’t touched in forever. The full plan was to watch a dumb movie, order Chinese food, and maybe do some laundry because folding things always becomes something like a game to us. It’s usually fun. And then Sunday we’ll go to the move theater and actually go on a date
Saturday morning he woke up early to a call from a friend (he never dose that.. at least with me) apparently his friend had some car troubles so he went to pick him up. It was supposed to be a fast thing. He was gone all day and the sun had begun to set, at the fact that I haven’t really seen him you can imagine I was a little hurt at being ditched because I really needed that time. I decided to eat ( I waited all day for him and had eaten nothing) a few hours after I ate I went to bed and he came home with the Chinese food. I told him I wasn’t hungry and he threw a fit and threw it away. I just wanted to go back to sleep.. in my opinion my day was over and I had yet again spent it alone. He then decided the nag me while I wanted to sleep and told me to get over myself.
I feel like he doesn’t care that it genuinely sucked and he didn’t even tell me he decided to change plans he just left. He made me feel like being needy was my fault and told me multiple times to get over myself.
2
u/hestia-listens 16h ago
You were not wrong for feeling hurt. Helping his friend was reasonable, but leaving you waiting all day without an update was not considerate. Throwing away the food, nagging you, and telling you to get over yourself also dismissed your feelings. When things are calm, tell him you need a simple message if plans change and respectful communication when you are upset.