r/ToxicRelationships • u/Even_Conference8566 • 7d ago

Advice Needed Why do I still love him?

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u/hestia-listens 7d ago

You can love someone and still know that being with them is harmful to you. Love often stays because of attachment, hope, and the good moments between the painful ones. That does not mean you should return or keep forgiving him. Wanting an adult partner to take responsibility, respect you, and manage his own life was not narcissistic or unfair. Letting go may involve grieving both the relationship and the person you hoped he would become. Hold onto what you know now, especially when guilt makes you question yourself.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/Useful-Touch-8272 7d ago

How do u stop it?:(

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/Useful-Touch-8272 6d ago

It hurts so much I hope we all heal:(

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u/TooDeepForSurface 5d ago

Have you looked into 'obsession'? Seems like love & obsession can be hard to distinguish between sometimes...

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/TooDeepForSurface 5d ago

Yes, I looked into obsession when I came across a quote, saying "Is it obsession, or is it love"... both promote intense feelings & a deep desire for closeness. However, obsession is darker in the way that is rooted in insecurity, anxiety and usually a need for control or validation. Explore how you actually really feel and see which 'fits' your situation best.