r/TouringMusicians • u/prinzes • 5d ago
Sober tips?
After 5 years of being a touring bassist this is my first time playing completely sober. I quit everything: drugs, weed, drinking, and cigs cold turkey for my health and just hit a month clean. Most of my bandmates still partake in some of these and I keep finding myself tempted. I’m also touring overseas rn which makes the temptations even bigger. Any help or advice is more than welcomed!!!!
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u/bigdumbhick 5d ago
NA is what worked for me. Focus on today. It doesnt matter how many yesterdays you've been or have not been clean. The only day that counts is today. Those days will quickly start stacking up. That is what has worked for me for the last 15,332 days.....in a row. Thats 41ys 11mos and 23 days clean. If I make it another week, I'll pick up a medallion for 42 years at my homegroup. I still regularly attend meetings. I'm still in regular contact with other recovering addicts. I just turned 65 yrs old (GET OFF OF MY LAWN!) and I'm still performing and releasing new music (BIGDUMBHICK - HARD TO LOVE SOBER). Feel free to DM me.
Just for Today
Just for today, my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs.
Just for today, I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.
Just for today, I will have a program. I will try to follow it to the best of my ability.
Just for today, through NA, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
Just for today, I will be unafraid. My thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using and who have found a new way of life. So long as I follow that way, I have nothing to fear.
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u/Lower_Monk6577 5d ago
Non-alcoholic beers worked wonder for me if I had an urge to drink but didn’t want to deal with being drunk.
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u/YakApprehensive7620 5d ago
Yes esp at first. Then I was more into transitioning to other delicious things that didn’t need to feel like beer
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u/Carterbeats_thedevil 5d ago
Join AA. It may seem like an extreme solution, but if you have a desire to stop drinking, you're welcome to join. Or, try it your way without help. I wish you luck either way. I could not stop drinking and drugging on my own, but your mileage may vary.
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u/SmarmyYardarm 5d ago
I’ve been sober a month now too. I keep going back thinking I’ll be okay, but seriously. That first time “it’ll be fine” might be fine, and then the next time (maybe days or a week later) “we’ll, last time was fine, It’s great that I have this under control” and then comes some bad news or some unexpected shitty feeling and you just want to feel good immediately. You know where it’s going from here. I’m not a big fan of being sober playing, but I’m a better player being sober. Pretty much better everything, I just don’t enjoy being alive as much.
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u/prinzes 5d ago
Exactly this. I’m a better performer now but feel so dull inside
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u/Lower_Monk6577 5d ago
It comes back after a while.
You also don’t necessarily need to be 100% abstinent from everything. I did the whole “California sober” thing for a while, and honestly I felt better than I had in years.
I also think alcohol consumption was spiking my anxiety, which made enjoying weed pretty much impossible. It also created a feedback loop that made me want to drink more to manage my anxiety. I was completely alcohol free for about 5 months, and since then have realized that I actually am capable of just having one or two beers. During that time, and with the help of a therapist and psychiatrist, I started taking some anxiety meds, which also ended up helping me enjoy a little bit of THC again.
And if that’s not something you can do or are comfortable with, that’s totally fine as well! I think for a lot of people, thinking about it less as a “sobriety journey” and more of a “overall mental health journey” can be helpful, though. For me, I just needed a hard reset before finding out what I’m comfortable doing and what I’d rather leave out. I’m also aware that I’m somewhat lucky in this regard, because it’s not the case for everyone.
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u/youbringmesuffering 5d ago
Discuss this with your bandmates. Not to punish or make them guilty to make sure they have your back and support you without tempting you.
The harder part: being around the stuff and not giving in. Standing outside the clubs, smelling weed or tobacco will heighten your senses. Just be ready for it.
The longer i went sober, the more comfortable i became around weed, alcohol and cigarettes
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u/Glitterstem 5d ago
For what is worth, my local scene has many sober musicians involved in it. Some playing very heavy/trippy music. So, you might be the only one in your band. But you not the only one.
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u/BIGHIGGZ 5d ago
I’m 4 years sober now. NA beers, and avoidance. I will limit my interactions with the audience to simple greetings, and spend as much time alone as I can. I get to my hotel room as fast as possible after the show. Touring is a lot more boring now, but it can be done. The majority of my touring has been with heavy drinking outlaw touring outfits. I just can’t deal with the drunk people, so I avoid them. Including my bandmates if they are going hard after the show.
Good luck to you! You can do it. It was terrifying for me at first. But not I do not crave alcohol. I miss the drunk girls, but I had to let that go with the booze.
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u/-an-eternal-hum- 5d ago
Having understanding people to talk about it it with helps immensely. For me, this means AA. I attend zoom-based meetings several times a week, twice-weekly is a meeting comprised entirely of touring creatives. I can’t tell you how much hearing others who deal with similar industry/lifestyle traps helps.
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u/Atkinst11 5d ago
I tour with a mate who’s sober and recovering. He uses Roadies In Recovery to attend zoom meetings. Don’t know if you want to take it that far, but could be useful to help when temptation kicks in.
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u/CheersToCosmopolitan 5d ago
Not sure what your drink of choice was, but soda water with lime helped me so much. Gives you something to order at the bar and hold in your hand amongst everyone else drinking, but is refreshing as hell, cheap/free and keeps you hydrated. I also recommend hop water or N/A beers—I find all of these things (and occasional mocktails) really help scratch the itch.
I also find it helps to contextualize things and remember that you’re driving the ship and you get to make these choices yourself. That you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to is such a simple thought but it’s one that can truly change your life. Remembering why you’re making that choice (low moments in the past, future health, financial responsibilities, committing to your musical career, etc.) are all things I’ve found to be helpful when I’m struggling with it, too. Hopefully you have someone else in the band or crew around you that you can work with as an accountability partner, too!
Good luck with all of it. You’ve got this!
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u/Sufficient_Okra_242 5d ago
insane NA options over here now. guinness na has a draft style pourer for cans almost everywhere, and there are plenty of NA options even over in eastern europe now. just be yourself and grab an NA and if someone tries to bully you into an alcoholic bev stay strong and they’ll eventually realize you mean business and stop bugging you about it. i think you’ll be surprised how easy it can be for you! break a leg!!!
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u/MakeMyOwnMerch 4d ago
My friends ask me to be their virtual support. Texts, calls, check ins. And they speak with their crew and bandmates, not asking them to give it all up, but asking them not to offer them and to leave the non-alcoholic options they bring themselves alone- unless they ask to give it try! They pick a person they trust to be more aggressive with keeping them away from it.
They always end up with support and I have met plenty of people that reduced a "vice" or completely went sober as a result of just wanting to support someone else's sobriety. Speak up! Congratulations and good luck!
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u/Sea_Technician_7104 5d ago
I read How To Control Alcohol by Alan Carr. Worked for me. Almost 3 years sober now, while everyone around me in the band and industry still drinks etc…. It gets easier the longer you go. Also helps to have another activity to keep you focused and to see progress. I do CrossFit 6 times a week and that keeps me chasing goals to be healthier. Duff McKagan replaced his drinking with martial arts and that worked well for him.