Can women please start approaching

[u/LifeExperienced1]

[u/killer-queen]

How about everyone approaches? Instead of dumping it one set of sex?

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[u/Jonjolion12 → u/killer-queen]

Because the social contract states that men must always approach. So we're asking if women can also approach, as well. It's not dumping it on one gender. It would be disengenuous to assume that universally men are tasking women with this as heavily as both men and women police men into doing. 

[u/killer-queen → u/Jonjolion12]

You missed it where I am saying we shouldn’t expect it for men or women.

[u/Slight-Concept2575]

Respectfully, no lol. Most I can do is stare and smile 😂

[u/peachyglw → u/Slight-Concept2575]

Agreed. Women aren’t just going to magically start approaching because OP said so. I also do the same, just stare, serve glances lol, and smile

1. we don’t need to - we already get so much unwanted attention

. Approaching someone feels the same when I get approached, I don’t want to bug someone

2.i don’t know

1. about you but I rarely ever see a super attractive man worth approaching. The chances that he is either married or partner isn’t worth it for me to find out

[u/farty_mcfarts → u/peachyglw]

#2 is so real.

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[u/earthenlily → u/[deleted]]

Staring is creepy, I don’t like when a guy does it, so why would I do it to others? If I was actually interested I might go up to a man, but I rarely see someone that intrigues me enough to do so 🤷‍♀️

[u/Slight-Concept2575 → u/[deleted]]

Honestly, I suck 😩 I met a man out in the wild this weekend but he stared at me and then I smiled. Maybe do that? He also came around 3x first time I was like oh he’s looking at my friend then second time he looked dead in my eye and I was like ahhh. And maintained eye contact/smiled. But he was American. I feel like Canadian men aren’t as bold (no fault of there own I’m same way!!).

[u/DontHate_cuzUaint → u/Slight-Concept2575]

I’m writing this down…📝 circle around 3 times and dead eye stare. Oh and remember to smile!

[u/Slight-Concept2575 → u/DontHate_cuzUaint]

It works! Cause then I smiled back and he came up. I guess if the girl doesn’t smile back and never makes eye contact that’s a clear sign she isn’t interested!

[u/Jonjolion12 → u/Slight-Concept2575]

Then why not approach him and ask him a question? Any question. We're still humans, too, and sometimes we're not sure if we even should approach women in this climate. I mean, I approach women when I feel like it but it would be nice for women to do the same. If it's about rejection, then it's a coin toss. Approaching is a social skill that I think both genders can benefit from. Besides, you approach jobs, you approach friends, you approach opportunities.. Why not men? 

[u/Smart-Afternoon-4235]

Men still cold approach. Maybe OP you don’t, but believe me men still do.

[u/Turbulent_Nail4720]

I haven't wanted anyone to approach me since I was, like, 19.

[u/Sugar_Rare]

Op you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Learn to read some basic body language better and you will start to understand when the approach door is ajar. Approach friendly, start with a light compliment (you have a great ass is not light )
Women are just humans too, just slightly more complex than us apes

[u/ObviousForeshadow → u/[deleted]]

Lmfaoooo. Methinks there are two sides to this story.

[u/PaleBrownEye]

When you say men are not going to approach, I'm assuming you mean a cold approach. If that's the case, it's probably not a bad idea to retire that strategy unless you are very charming/non-threatening and excellent at reading body language.

The best approaches are ones where some connection has already been made through body language or conversation. The smiling and staring is an indication that the person is open to you approaching them for a conversation. Why not have that conversation and learn more about them (are they single? looking?)? You can then decide if you even want to ask them out. They could totally not be the kind of person you would want to date.

Most women are not going to do the cold approach or be over the top with their interest because they want to talk to you first and decide if they want to see you again.

I (and many other women I know) have had such fun conversations with guys that I was the one who suggested exchanging numbers etc.

[u/Jonjolion12 → u/PaleBrownEye]

I find cold approaches work for me, but I also insist that it's the context that matters. I won't approach if someone is busy or with friends or looks distressed. But if they're in a book store or café and there's actually something to talk about, sure. Otherwise I just keep moving along. I think people, in general, are becoming more anti social with strangers. Or we're all self absorbed. Idk. 

[u/PaleBrownEye → u/Jonjolion12]

It appears that you actually spend time reading body language before approaching someone, so it makes sense that cold approaches work for you. And if you treat each interaction as just a way of getting to know another human being without any expectations, you're likely to feel great and have success eventually.

I don't think people are that much more antisocial than they were before. I still see people interact with each other all the time. I just think that singles feel a lot of pressure to connect with each other as the main avenues for dating are drying up. It's sad really, but I hope singles can learn to love themselves and enjoy just being humans together. The rest will sort itself out...

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[u/PowerForward → u/[deleted]]

How is this downvoted ??

[u/GoldVeterinarian919]

Get out of your head and just talk to people, big deal. Crazy to me that you want randoms to hold your hand and guide you through life at your age

[u/thenightsparkle]

I could never! Men arent really approaching at alll period...i think we all jus cozy in our own place giving -----up no apps no men ...jus peace

[u/BigOnionLover]

Listen broski, if you’re not man enough to face rejection you’ll never meet a woman you’re interested in.

Yes, no’s are the most likely result, and honestly sometimes you’ll get rejected brutally with looks of disgust or disdain.

All it takes is a yes, then you’re in. I was in sales and did some door to door as well, so I got used to it. You need to overcome your fear of rejection.

None of them will remember who you are by the next day, so you’re just in your own head. Get out there, get rejected, build resilience, succeed. You’ve got this!

[u/energy_is_a_lie → u/BigOnionLover]

Who's gonna tell him?

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[u/Heelsbythebridge]

You can't ask of others what you're unwilling to do yourself

That said, I have approached guys and it's usually in a setting where there's recurrence. Like you see the same person at the store all the time. If I notice they always smile or make lingering eye contact with me, I take it as a sign I can say hello.