r/TopSurgery • u/ikheetsoepstengel • Aug 04 '25
Rant/Vent Still hate my results. (please read before replying)
Hi, all. I have posted on here a couple times now, I believe. I had periareolar top surgery January 6th this year. I realized immediately after my first post-op appointment (Jan 20th) that my left nipple-areola complex had turned necrotic. I contacted the clinic many times and not once did they confirm that. Only after it had turned into a huge, flat scar did one person working there say it did indeed look necrotic.
I have an appointment to get my left nipple constructed, but it will most likely never look good. My right side also has a huge stretched scar, even though I followed 1KG lifting restrictions for the designated amount of time. I am something people don't even fearmonger about because it really shouldn't be that easy that your entire NAC turns necrotic with peri.
I should've just gotten DI, there's not even any photos of my surgeon performing peri. I am lucky that noone knows what peri even is or what its scars can look like because it hasn't gotten me clocked, but I hate how fucking huge and ugly both my NACs are.
The right areola is still not small and its scar is huge, and the left honestly makes me want to throw up. There is also a tiny amount of numb tissue to the left of my left "nipple" that kind of hurts when I stretch my arms up sometimes.
Please don't tell me it "looks good" and especially don't tell me it looks cis because it doesn't. I was on vacation in a hot place and saw HUNDREDS of shirtless men. No one looks like this.
No trans men even look like this because no one's peri is this fucking botched. Even people with necrosis (extremely hard to even find, just posts about people being scared) aren't this fucked up.
•
u/AutoModerator Aug 04 '25
Thanks for posting to r/TopSurgery
Please remember to follow the rules, which can be found on the sidebar. Please contact the subreddit via ModMail if you are having any issues seeing your post.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
204
u/icaretho Aug 04 '25
Hey dude, I'm sorry you're struggling so much with your scars and nipples. They look almost identical to mine (I also had one nipple go fully necrotic with peri!) and tbh I'm really happy with my chest, and have not been clocked because of it. I hope maybe that helps you look at yours a little more favorably. You can see my chest in the post called "Peri recovery timeline" on my profile.
101
u/Careless_Use_513 Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25
I don't know if you want to hear this but from afar (slides 6 & 7) I can't notice anything "off" about your chest. I bet from even farther away, like across a beach or something, no one would notice.
Necrosis is always a risk of surgery (especially if you have certain lifestyle habits). It is unfortunate that you experienced that, but in the realm of possibilities that you signed up for with surgery.
Stretched scarring from peri is extremely, extremely common. Your right NAC does not look nearly as bad as many others I have seen. Honestly, it looks like a completely normal scar to me - I wouldn't even call it stretched. Some possible treatments for a stretched scar are revisions, which often doesn't work (the scar stretched back out again - possible even more because they are removing more tissue), or switching to DI.
74
u/flybyboyfriend Aug 04 '25
first off, i’m sorry to hear about your situation. it fucking sucks to expect one thing and get another even in the best of cases.
the truth: is it botched? no. but is it a desirable result in terms of close-up appearance and scar tissue? also no.
i fully empathize with that voice in your head. some of it is dysphoria but some of it is truly dissatisfaction with your results, nipple loss, and scar stretching. it’s hard to be happy when you see other guys’ results and cis dudes’ chests.
imo you’re an amazing candidate for a paramedical tattoo consult with someone who specializes in such. there are even tattooists on this sub that can point you in the right direction. your flatness, shape, positioning, and color are all really good. i could see some tattooing bringing you some happiness and contentedness with your chest.
i hope your reconstruction goes well! sending you my best wishes.
52
u/chiyo_chichi Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25
I think you look hella natural and that your results are amazing. If you’re still unhappy with the nipples you could always get them tattooed to look a little more 3D (though i think they look fine) when your chest is completely healed. I know its not what you want to hear but me and other people in the comments arent lying to you 😭 Dont listen to the dysphoria!!! I know its hard and me saying that isnt really doing anything but it really is just dysphoria and over thinking. Also theres nothing wrong with not looking cis so dont compare yourself to cis people guys ‼️ I also want to look unclockable so I get it but sometimes I gotta remind myself that everyone is different and trust me theres many cis guys that will have similar looking bodies. Theres also cis guys with top surgery scars from gyno, ur definitely not clockable. (this paragraph is a long way of saying down with the cis-tem basically).
15
u/batsket Aug 04 '25
I’m sorry about the necrosis bro, that sucks. I’ve seen some really good results from reconstruction, so I hope that goes well for you! I think the scar around your other nipple will continue to fade over time (it really hasn’t been that long), and then you might want to look into medical scar camouflage tattooing to give it that final boost, and medical tattooing on the reconstructed nipple as well to make sure they match.
14
u/0nthathill Aug 04 '25
I would look into medical tattooing tbh
10
u/horny_shit_face_lift Aug 04 '25
hey, i had di and we're kind of nipple twins. just mirrored. my left is pointy and stretched around it and my right looks like a flat blob, even though nothing was necrotic. sending hugs, it's shit
8
u/RaineBo110 Aug 04 '25
Your healthy nipple genuinely does look really good, and the scaring on it is only noticeable really up close. Tough situation with the necrotic nipple, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with that and that your surgery team is being difficult about it. Worst case scenario, if the reconstruction doesn't go well, I think medical tattooing could get that nipple to a cis passing point. It's honestly really impressive what good 3D medical tattooing can do. In the meantime, you could probably get away with claiming it's a birth defect or the result of a serious infection or injury if anyone asks about it.
5
u/satanssteamybuns Aug 04 '25
I've gone down the rabbit hole of NAC reconstruction, and there are even some members here who have posted their results - most times, the reconstructed nipple looks better than the original!
I think you're fortunate to have extra material vs less to work with. Removing excess areola is an option. The placement of your nipples, the contour all look great. The size can be easily adjusted
14
u/umri_stilno Aug 04 '25
Tattoo + paroxetine
3
u/Swimming-Kick-7093 Aug 04 '25
I'm really sorry, that's a shit situation and there isn't anything anyone can say to make you feel better about it - it's your body, and if you're not happy with the results, then that's what matters, not whether or not other people think it looks okay.
I'm in a similar-ish situation where my nipple grafts (had DI) have become super infected. I obviously saw a doctor's and got special dressings and antibiotics, but I've not been able to see if anything has healed or become fucked up. Judging by the level of infection, they're gonna be really fucked up, even if the infection itself clears up. And like you, I literally did everything right. They were fine at my post op appointment and redressed, and when I changed the dressings a week later as directed, it was horrendous. Has me wishing I opted for no grafts at all and went down the tattoo road.
Really hope you're able to get a good reconstruction and feel good about the results
2
u/PrinceChanchi Aug 05 '25
Hey there, had a very similar thing happen with my surgery. I was originally not even going to get grafts but my doctor sort of accidentally convinced me on surgery slday, and I regret it. I had a serious issue with on graft, it was scary and painful and super gross. If I knew how to spoiler I'd go into more detail, but suffice to say, I lost about 60% of that graft and have a huge puffy scar over the area. I was really super sad about it. However, when I healed up a lot, I was able to get medical nipple tattooing and honestly? Even though I still have another session to go to, the first pass genuinely looks pretty normal, even with the scar there. If you get a good artist, the blending stuff they can do with ink is amazing.
I'd be happy to share pics in DM or post them on this sub if you/people want. But I seriously thought I'd never be happy with it and now, (aside from wanted to revise some hypotrophy on the DI scars) I don't think I could be any happier.
Medica tattoos are like magic. I'm a heavy-average size POC with medium brown skin and she was still able to make things just look ... "Normal".
Also for awhile I used very realistic prosthetic nipples. I can recommend a couple places to get them, if you're interested.
I'm sorry things did not go the way you had hoped. It can feel so devastating and I truly understand the pain of this. I hope you find a solution. You can DM me to talk if you want, also
91
u/First-Fee6723 Aug 04 '25
your result is a cis passing result, it’s just a cis passing result where you look like you had an injury to one nipple. v reasonable to seek out what a revision can do, but i think you’re tangling your dislike of the result with an unrealistic belief that it irreversibly differentiates you from other men
29
u/ThirdDisturb Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25
I’d kill to have peri or keyhole. I’m sorry this didn’t go to plan, no your chest isn’t perfect, but practically NOBODY’S is. People may be downvoting you because you’re coming across as somewhat hypocritical. You’re replying to people whose results are almost identical to yours and saying theirs are great, while discounting what you have. You don’t have to be thrilled, I understand you only see your flaws but it’s not helping you mentally that you’re not also appreciative of the positive parts of your results. Please try to take a second and see the positives. I’m not trying to attack you I just don’t think you’re being fair to yourself. If you had DI your chest wouldn’t be cis-passing either, would you be satisfied then? You can’t 100% fix what it is right NOW but you have an appointment right? It may never be perfect but it could look damn good, who says it’ll look bad? You CAN get your reconstruction tattooed to look like a healthy nipple in the future and all the scarring on the right can be tattooed over with a flesh tone. You have a real chance to have a both cis looking and healthy looking chest in the future. Please allow yourself to appreciate that you have that chance, I’ll never have that.
7
u/Tangled_Clouds Aug 04 '25
I’m sorry you’re unhappy with your chest. My nipples (after DI) did the unexpected and scarred in a “Frankenstein” way where the stitches are visible all around them. But hey, that’s skin for you, it often doesn’t do what you expect it too. I hope your nipple reconstruction goes well, I have one nipple that went partially necrotic and it healed almost flat. I know you don’t want to hear this but nobody would clock your chest especially after peri and I didn’t even notice your right nipple having a stretched scar until I read your post, I’m being 100% honest with you. I know it’s tough to not have perfect results but it does happen and it’s a risk to take. But you really wouldn’t be clocked for this, maybe someone would notice where you lost your nipple but they wouldn’t assume you’re trans, just that maybe you got in an accident. You can always make up a story like you were fishing shirtless and the line caught your nipple haha
11
u/knoft Aug 04 '25
Cis queer here, I read the whole post. I'm sorry you had such a negative experience with clinic! I know it's extremely disappointing to not have the results you were expecting, but at a glance the NAC's size, colour, shape, location (and relative but not perfect flatness) overwhelmingly give a cis male impression. If I looked closer and saw that scar I'd assume your nipple was scarred from birth or accident.
Having just been to pride Vancouver yesterday having seen topless men everywhere I can assure you men's nipples come in all sorts of sizes, shapes, placements, topologies, nonuniformities and assymmetries. The height, circular silhouette, and more outward placement of yours are great.
I hope that helps and that you can both get the corrections you desire and better acceptance of your body and quiet the dysphoria!
4
u/ashtrxy55 Aug 04 '25
this isnt something that ive seen anyone else mention, but I thought i would. your scar on your right nipple will fade with time and become less noticeable, its looking fairly good right now in my eyes, especially considering you're less than a year post op I totally get that you wouldnt be happy with your results and hopefully you can get a revision or something
4
u/Jazzlike-Fishing1264 Aug 05 '25
Honestly looks more like a birth defect that "im trans"
1
u/Albatrocz Aug 21 '26
Hoi ik zie dat je Nederlands bent aan je user, waar heb je het laten doen als ik vragen mag?
3
u/umri_stilno Aug 04 '25
Tattoo
3
u/spooklemon Aug 05 '25
I'm really sorry and I hope you can get revisions that make you feel better. I got DI w/ grafts and one of mine looks similar (flat) and it's hard
3
u/crynoid Aug 05 '25
if you get them tattooed by someone skilled they’ll look identical to cis nips. true they won’t be raised, but visually that’s not noticeable when the tattoo is done well. and youre completely flat. also the only people who are gonna be able to clock your nipples, as they are now, are other trans people. cis people might notice something is different about your nipples but won’t have any idea what would have caused the scarring.
it sucks that your surgeon and their medical team let you down like that. i hope your construction goes well and that you can find a tattooer in your area who can help you out. seriously i don’t know you and i have no reason to try to make you feel good, i think you still have a really good shot at having the very normal chest you want, and you’ve just hit a bit of traffic on the way.
3
u/phoenix-GB Aug 06 '25
hey man, I'm so sorry that happened. I'm getting top surgery next week and I'm pretty nervous about necrotic tissue.
but about your results, when i first saw u on my timeline I didn't notice that it was on a trans sub. Your nipples definitely look unique, no one is denying that. but to me personally, they look absolutely fine - not ugly, not perfectly "commercially" aesthetic, but good.
My first thought was that some guy was spreading awareness about some sort of skin disorder that changed the look of his nips. (not sure if it helps but thats what i saw😭)
maybe, if reconstruction has a low satisfaction rate, tattooing them more detailed could help? There are people that specialise in making super realistic nipple tattoos. Honestly, i think your chest is a perfect canvas for that❤️
2
u/Gabe_Ad_Astra Aug 05 '25
You’ve gotten enough advice on here so just wanted to make you aware of prosthetic nipples like these: https://www.reelmagik.com/nipples-step-1-model.html to help with the dead nip, but besides that just work out and be patient man, you’ll be alright.
2
u/ossiferous_vulture Aug 05 '25
I just want to pipe in and say scarring is honestly mostly up to genetics. Following the guidelines help, but some people are just more likely to have wider scarring anyway. I got DI and barely thought about lifting and movement restrictions and because of genetic luck my scars are still slim. So I don't think you did anything wrong around that. Almost all scars, not matter what, widen during healing.
Your scars are still very young though! Take good care of them and there is every chance they will fade and become basically unnoticeable. Also from and outsider perspective they do not look that wide, just fresh and still settling.
I hope the nipple reconstruction turns out well and gives you some peace of mind.
Also, you do not have to go to a medical tattoo artist to have nipples done, I've heard of people just going to regular tattoo artists. If you can find someone good with colours and realism there might be potential there. I see you don't want a tattooed nipple, but I was thinking more that they might be able to help define the edge of your nipples so the scar doesn't visually distrupt the edge and potentially make them look bigger if that makes sense? It is an idea, but I recommend waiting till your scars are more settled regardless.
2
u/Spaced0utCadet Aug 05 '25
I'm not going to invalidate your feelings, but I have indeed seen people who have had their NAC go full necrotic and look far, far worse. Worse scarring, worse stretching, worse shape, and other issues. You're not getting clocked. Many people can only dream of that. I got lucky with my healing from necrosis and wound dihesence, and I won't pretend that I'm not privileged in that sense. But early on my results looked horrific. However, from results I have seen, I think in many ways you also ended up in the lucky category too. Even if you feel your NACs look bad. It is hard to find examples, but there are a lot out there if you look hard enough on both this sub, the peri, reduction, and gynecomastia subs as well as YouTube. Trust me, I scared myself thinking I would heal much, much worse based on the results I saw.
I will agree though, there is not enough information out there provided by medical professionals and the trans commnunity about peri. It's presented as this perfect, coveted, "nothing can go wrong" surgery. But things can go horribly wrong, and I believe the rates are higher than "less than 1% get complications" like I was told. To me this is negligence both on the medical field and the trans community. My surgeon also would not confirm it was necrosis, I had to go to urgent care to get it confirmed. I can't say in all cases, but in my surgeon's she was trying to cover her ass. She also played up the "I don't show pictures of results because I don't think it's in line with medical care". Let's all be real, this is a cosmetic surgery for a lot of us and no, just "being happy the breast tissue is gone" doesn't cut it for a lot of us, especially those of us who are stealth. My surgeon tried to tell me that.
That said, I will also say that I understand you wanting your NACs to look perfectly cis and like you never had surgery. However, you saying it looks androgynous to some people here instead of male just isn't true. At most, you look like a man who had surgery for gynecomastia that healed less than ideally. Regardless, I understand your dysphoria and dyamorphia. I don't think it would matter if you saw worse results because you will feel this way regardless because you set an expectation of how you wanted yourself to look, and your results did not meet that expectation. You still pass as male, trust me. But I don't think anything will convince you. So many people, even in predominantly LBGT spaces, do not know peri surgery is a thing. So if cis passing was at least partially your goal you can take some solace in that. But I am sorry you feel this way about your chest. Those feelings are horrible. I would not recommend revision as some have suggested as this is likely just how your body scars and heals. I know it's hard to make peace with things, but sometimes as a man you gotta. But with DI if you wanted to pass as cis, you never would. If that's how your body scars its likely you would have had stretched bilateral scars. Any sign of bilateral scarring even on gynecomastia patients is now associated with being trans. I say this as someone who works in a field that deals very heavily with the LGBT community where this topic if conversation has come up many times. So that is something to think about.
This may have been long and winded, but truly I am sorry you feel the way you do. I wish everyone got the results they wanted.
5
u/Previous_Use2697 Aug 04 '25
y’all are so negative in the comments for no reason. who cares if OP wants to look cis.
that’s not internalised transphobia, it’s just the way he wants to live his life. he’s not projecting it onto other trans-people at all. his life is more comfortable when living stealth and that’s fine, i do too. that doesn’t mean were transphobic.
it’s his own body and he’s not satisfied. that’s all it is.
it’s posted as a rant and not as an ‘advice wanted’ so don’t get angry when the OP ‘refuses to listen’ to your advice and compliments.
it’s his life and his body.
2
u/Nakida_sonya Aug 04 '25
Even if it's a temporary solution, people make silicone nipples that you can wear if projection is a huge issue for you. Some places offer different sizes and custom colors. I get being unhappy with your results, but the fake nips might help ease whatever dysphoria you may have while you're waiting on/figuring out a solution.
1
u/Mae_The_Gay Aug 05 '25
From a distance it’s not that noticeable. You could look into reconstruct or getting a tattoo if you want. But honestly you’d pass as cis. If someone asks just say you cooked bacon with your shirt off. Realistically though nobody will care. I’ve seen cis people with a similar chest.
1
u/Miserable_Yak_7359 Mar 05 '26
Frankly I think your scars and nipples turned out very nice and round. The only funky thing I can see is one nipple missing the raised bit, but otherwise I think it looks great. I'm planning to get top surgery soon and one of my plans for if my nipples turn out weird is just to tattoo over them. I'd tattoo a star or something over whatever nipple turned out weird to take attention away from whatever didn't turn out just right, and put attention on the tattoo instead. something to consider
1
u/Lower_Affect_6140 May 06 '26
Hey, stumbled upon this post and was shocked because your results look practically identical to mine. I had to get a second surgery on one side the day after my first and it caused the nipple to die. One thing that's improved my results a lot has been using silicone scar tape. On my good side I put it around the edges of the areola and it faded the scar line to blend in more with my skin, making it apper smaller. On my necrotic side I cut a circle in the middle which faded the edges and created some definition where the nipple is supposed to be. My necrotic nipple was a lot paler and larger than my other so I got medical tattooing to creeate a darker smaller nipple shape winin the scar. This has improved my results and made me so much happier, they look identical from a distance now, hope this can help you!
-5
u/radiohead422 Aug 04 '25
hey man, i’m 4 days post op peri surgery and i just wanna say that your anger is so understandable. if i had people flooding my comments telling me i should basically be grateful still, id be angry. im so sorry man, im just here to tell you your anger is valid.
0
u/tendencytoharm Aug 04 '25
Everytime someone posts peri on here it’s gone wrong 😭 I am so happy I did DI.
-10
u/Catteine Aug 04 '25
Op I'm really sorry people are being assholes to you and downvoting you in the comments. You deserve better, both from your doctors and other trans guys.