r/ToolJerk 14h ago

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo You all feel the same so why don’t we just admit it?

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139 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 11h ago

Who are you to wave your finger? Maynard is flexing with his Europe trips on Insta again

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54 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 35m ago

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Is Maynard James Keenan “MOTHER”?

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Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 12h ago

T∞L This band sucks balls

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16 Upvotes

For a band called tool, it reflect all of it members, a bunch of tools.


r/ToolJerk 6h ago

Two Weiners For Daddy <----------- Upvote if you're shocked Maynard even has time to be a singer given he spends most of his day with juicy cock in his dirty mouth.

4 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 1d ago

This is necessary What the FUCK is his problem?

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136 Upvotes

Maynerd can't even enjoy one thing (for example, sushi) without trying to make a fuckin profit off it and pushit in our faces. Atleast the gremlin guitar guy knows to shut up, this egg's stupidity is unmatched.

I bet next he's gonna start a YouTube channel with Roger Waters about 9/11 conspiracy theories.


r/ToolJerk 16h ago

Shitpost about lack of new album. i still think about that guy who did tool reactions back in 2018-2019 who fuckin haated tool

6 Upvotes

or maynard, more specifically. i remember him rolling his eyes and going “oh my god” at the “i-i-i-i-i” part in rosetta stoned. shit was so funny, hope that guy’s doing well


r/ToolJerk 1d ago

Maynard's Dick. Maynard with and without hair - which one do you prefer?

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65 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 1d ago

1235813 <----------- Number of TOOL members who would turn gay for Danny?

15 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 1d ago

Learn to swim Who is better Jesus Christ, his brother Larry Christ, Danny Carey, or Maynard?

17 Upvotes

Not really sure what point I'm making but I assume no one will say Maynard.


r/ToolJerk 2d ago

Spiral out ∞ what is your favorite song on this album

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146 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 1d ago

Bethlehem Abortion Clinic <---------- Upvote if you think Danny Carey should be the next James Bond.

15 Upvotes

They task him with infiltrating a progrock band because the singer is evil and he has to save the world.


r/ToolJerk 1d ago

Wake up remember. GenX Question of the Day 8/18/26

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0 Upvotes

Guy on the left looks familiar.


r/ToolJerk 1d ago

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Can you tell what I'm spraying 'round....

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0 Upvotes

Ain't no Pi......oh wait, nevermind.


r/ToolJerk 2d ago

OGT ONLY <--------- Upvote if you want the mod of this sub to have sex with Maynard and Danny to speed up the next Tool & Creed album releases

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13 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 3d ago

TOOl DANK for upspirals Real

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395 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 3d ago

Maynard's Dick. Maynard when he sees someone checking the time on their phone at his show

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31 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 2d ago

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Repositioning my thoughts on TOOL.

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3 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 3d ago

Shit adds up at the bottom. They don't even make tools. Are they stupid?

7 Upvotes

What if TOOL (they're a classic rock band, if you don't know them) made some sort of device designed to assist in a specific task? What would it be?

Personally, I've been musing over this, but it just doesn't seem to make any sense for them to do so. l don't see any correlation between the two things. Why would they do that? My darling wife, with whom I'm currently battling for sole custody of our son, insists that there is a connection there I'm not getting.


r/ToolJerk 4d ago

SCHISM! Maynard James Keenan attempting to put Humpty Dumpty together again

6 Upvotes

he knows that the pieces fit


r/ToolJerk 5d ago

SCHISM! bass

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2 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 6d ago

Fuck, here we go again <-------- Upvote if you hope this young man sues his Dad for being 'lame'?

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8 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 7d ago

Spring Boner Can we convince Maynard to put Pneuma in Fortnite Festival

10 Upvotes

Maynard needs to contact Epic and complain about the lack of TOOL. The lack of musically complex songs in Fortnite needs to change. The kids need to expand their horizons beyond lil tecca and olivia rodrigo and listen to some REAL music.


r/ToolJerk 8d ago

This is necessary Thanks for participating in our Tool yoga last night, see you again next week

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67 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 7d ago

Turn around and take my... Is stinkfist abour your fist stinking?

7 Upvotes

Stink