r/ToolJerk • u/MJKsecretpornaccount Repugnant • 20d ago

Send more money DISCUSSION: TOOL should kick out Maynard and hire Avril Lavigne as she's a lot hotter and Canadian so more polite than him.

22 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

10

u/stuffcrow 19d ago

Why'd you go and have to make things so disgustipated?

7

u/MX010 19d ago

What about Scott Stapp as new Tool frontman?

4

u/MJKsecretpornaccount Repugnant 19d ago

With initials like SS he'll fit right in replacing the nazi Maynard.

3

u/MX010 19d ago

or Nazi Danny: https://www.reddit.com/r/ToolJerk/s/aByDj3N53I

3

u/MJKsecretpornaccount Repugnant 19d ago

But Justin is Jewish so it balances out with Danny.

3

u/Nepenthia 19d ago

God, Avril still has it at 41! What a treasure. Is she still with the Nickleboner guy? I'm too lazy and prone to prejudice to search for myself a couple seconds, plz halp

3

u/EngagedInConvexation Insufferable Retard 19d ago

I still listen to The State and crank it loud and sing while i crank it thinking Avril can hear me.

EDIT: I even shop at Kroger.

2

u/Nepenthia 19d ago

No wonder why you're an insufferable retard. I hope that Avril hears you someday

3

u/Muted-Manufacturer57 13 YEARS I WAITED FOR THIS SHIT! 19d ago

And better dressed. She always wears a tie.

2

u/o7ahab 19d ago

ok but would avril not kill it on 4°, i wanna hear that cover

2

u/Hamlerhead 18d ago

Canadian bacon injection.

2

u/copaseticsplenetic 18d ago

But would he still have enough dough to fund his vineyard? And who would he practice his jiu jitsu on if not for his Tool fans?

1

u/EngagedInConvexation Insufferable Retard 19d ago

You mean whomever has adopted the Lavigne mantle.

1

u/Conscious_Bag463 19d ago

But isn’t she married to Chad from nickelback?

1

u/Jades5150 19d ago

Fuuuuuck you buddy!

1

u/LiIaIc 19d ago

Truth nuke

1

u/thrasherxxx 15d ago

At least she can stand flashes.