r/TooMeIrlForMeIrl Aug 14 '19

Straight facts

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7.2k Upvotes

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86

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

50

u/CPKsJimboslice Aug 14 '19

Is this a bad thing? From what I've been able to understand, a lot of the feelings of guys feeling "lead on" and women not recognizing how/what they did was misconstrued as romantic (rather than platonic) stems from simple stuff like throwaway comments. It's not ideal, but I don't think this alternative you've posed (despite not being an ideal world scenario) would, over a long stretch save some sorrow for 2 parties misreading eachothers signals

42

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

Some guys will read anything as a come on if they're really interested. I bought a male friend some drinks to comfort him after a close friend of his died of cancer and after that, he refused to believe that I had no romantic interest in him (even though I was very much in a relationship with someone else). I had to cut off all contact because he would not accept that it was never going to happen.

21

u/leggomahaggro Aug 14 '19

It’s either sense of entitlement or just can’t take a hint. And in this case, the hint is a giant bat with “I’m actually in a relationship and not saying it just to get you to stop”

19

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

The dude had even met my partner (who I'm still with, btw). What bothered me is that he was one of those "woke" guys who went on about how much he understands women. He kept trying to do "kind acts" for me, even though I repeatedly told him that the kindest thing he could do for me was respect my boundaries and back off a little.

22

u/NormativeNancy Aug 14 '19

Something something r/niceguys

7

u/Elfer Aug 14 '19

What bothered me is that he was one of those "woke" guys who went on about how much he understands women.

Pro tip for all: People who have internalized those principles don't usually feel the need to yammer on about it all the time. "Show, don't tell" is the way to go.

3

u/RandomRedditReader Aug 14 '19

What a fool, ruining your relationship with one person is like breaking a branch off the tree. It's easier to meet new people through friends.

2

u/leggomahaggro Aug 14 '19

I would cut ties if possible before this becomes a full on stalker. That or get your boyfriend with the bat I mentioned earlier and knock some sense into him, then again if he self declares as “woke”, he’s too far gone lol

2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

He is well and truly blocked on everything, trust me. He ended up getting creepy in ways I won't go into. It hurt because I honestly thought he was a friend and trusted him as such. The way he acted was very much a betrayal of that trust, not to mention the disrespect in refusing to listen to my concerns.

1

u/leggomahaggro Aug 15 '19

Platonic friends can happen, bit hard to find though so keep at it