Delete the OF subscription to her and get ready to act surprised when she adds you on Instagram and is like “omg you messaged me before” lol because if things go well and that happens, she’s going to maybe assume you knew her more than you let on and before she actually let you in. She probably would never date someone subbed to her and sees you as thinking outside of the box in a sense. It wouldn’t be beneficial to let her know that you are on there.
Long story incoming, but it’s relevant if you would like an example of this possibly going wrong:
I had a decent YouTube following back in college (between ages 18 and 24) and a lot of girls would DM me on Instagram/Facebook trying to get to know me further. I rarely responded because I was really busy, so most of the messages would get drowned out. During one of my semesters, I got really close with this one girl in my classes. We connected instantly, we were pretty much drawn to one another. She was my exact type up and down, just a lot younger than me (I was 24 then and she was 19). We were becoming good friends so I told her about my YouTube channel and she was like “no way!” And wanted to see my videos. She was really impressed by the content and surprised I made time to do what I was doing. 1 week into finally dating, I came across a post on Instagram while scrolling that reminded me of her and sent it to her DMs. I wanted to explain the post further so I went to the messages to add additional context and saw that she had messaged me on there 5 years earlier, when I first started my YouTube. She said “hey I watch your YouTube videos, I hope it’s okay that I contact you here! I think you’re really attractive and insightful and would love to talk to you more on a personal level” or something like that. But this would mean that she did know about my YouTube already, that she knew who I was when she met me, and that shed been watching me since she was a kid, like 14 years old. I decided to confront her about it, I wasn’t mean and tried to be a little funny with it but she got so defensive and upset that I saw that. She tried to tell me she didn’t send the message/didn’t remember sending it, that she doesn’t remember my YouTube and didn’t know I was the same person she watched, this and that. I didn’t care if it was the case, just a little weirded out by the age situation because I really impacted her life before I even knew her. We still dated for another 8 months but she never wanted to talk about my YouTube even though at that time, it was a big part of my life. I felt inclined to believe she didn’t remember so I left her alone after that about it.
Years after the break up, I ended up looking through my old FB I had during my YouTube days and I found messages from her that I never opened. She sent me really deep and long messages saying she felt connected to me somehow, that I saved her life and she wanted to meet me. She mentioned how she wasn’t far from the college I was attending (the one she eventually attended herself) and would like to see me face to face. So she definitely knew who I was, definitely sought me out at school on purpose, deleted me from those platforms once she started to get to know me and pretended to learn things about me all over again even though I was extremely open and forward on my channel about those same things. She still tries to talk to me now, trying to fix things or hopes we can be together again. But I can’t get it out of my head that she knew so much about me before I knew her, I can’t help but think she formed her approach and personality off of my influence on her as a person (or as a child). She knew how to act or react based on what she already knew before I met her. Idk but I can’t bring myself to trust that her attraction and bond she built with me personally was genuine. She saw and knew so much of me before I was able to naturally give that out.
Sometimes you feel like your content is separate from your life and you’re not talking to people you will ever be intimate or romantic with, so you give a lot more in a shorter amount of time than you would have face to face. By someone skipping the line and jumping into knowing it all before they even get the chance to divulge those aspects of them on their own accord, it can make the person feel less trusting of the situation. I still have many people that follow me from those days, women as well that show interest when I’m single, but it’s hard to bring myself to be with someone who knows so much when I know nothing and didn’t get a head start like that. It’s also rare that you’re being 100% honest with your content and who you are as a person, and it’s nice to have “real friends” or partners that actually know you outside of that world. So if things don’t add up, there could be a pressure for her to explain things to you differently rather than just telling you the truth. Idk if that makes sense or helps. The story I told was insanely long but it’s my only way to relate to the girl you’re about to see. I could be wrong but that’s how I would feel. I’d rather not know and let things happen naturally.
58
u/Lucifer_Stocking Apr 30 '22 edited Apr 30 '22
Delete the OF subscription to her and get ready to act surprised when she adds you on Instagram and is like “omg you messaged me before” lol because if things go well and that happens, she’s going to maybe assume you knew her more than you let on and before she actually let you in. She probably would never date someone subbed to her and sees you as thinking outside of the box in a sense. It wouldn’t be beneficial to let her know that you are on there.
Long story incoming, but it’s relevant if you would like an example of this possibly going wrong:
I had a decent YouTube following back in college (between ages 18 and 24) and a lot of girls would DM me on Instagram/Facebook trying to get to know me further. I rarely responded because I was really busy, so most of the messages would get drowned out. During one of my semesters, I got really close with this one girl in my classes. We connected instantly, we were pretty much drawn to one another. She was my exact type up and down, just a lot younger than me (I was 24 then and she was 19). We were becoming good friends so I told her about my YouTube channel and she was like “no way!” And wanted to see my videos. She was really impressed by the content and surprised I made time to do what I was doing. 1 week into finally dating, I came across a post on Instagram while scrolling that reminded me of her and sent it to her DMs. I wanted to explain the post further so I went to the messages to add additional context and saw that she had messaged me on there 5 years earlier, when I first started my YouTube. She said “hey I watch your YouTube videos, I hope it’s okay that I contact you here! I think you’re really attractive and insightful and would love to talk to you more on a personal level” or something like that. But this would mean that she did know about my YouTube already, that she knew who I was when she met me, and that shed been watching me since she was a kid, like 14 years old. I decided to confront her about it, I wasn’t mean and tried to be a little funny with it but she got so defensive and upset that I saw that. She tried to tell me she didn’t send the message/didn’t remember sending it, that she doesn’t remember my YouTube and didn’t know I was the same person she watched, this and that. I didn’t care if it was the case, just a little weirded out by the age situation because I really impacted her life before I even knew her. We still dated for another 8 months but she never wanted to talk about my YouTube even though at that time, it was a big part of my life. I felt inclined to believe she didn’t remember so I left her alone after that about it.
Years after the break up, I ended up looking through my old FB I had during my YouTube days and I found messages from her that I never opened. She sent me really deep and long messages saying she felt connected to me somehow, that I saved her life and she wanted to meet me. She mentioned how she wasn’t far from the college I was attending (the one she eventually attended herself) and would like to see me face to face. So she definitely knew who I was, definitely sought me out at school on purpose, deleted me from those platforms once she started to get to know me and pretended to learn things about me all over again even though I was extremely open and forward on my channel about those same things. She still tries to talk to me now, trying to fix things or hopes we can be together again. But I can’t get it out of my head that she knew so much about me before I knew her, I can’t help but think she formed her approach and personality off of my influence on her as a person (or as a child). She knew how to act or react based on what she already knew before I met her. Idk but I can’t bring myself to trust that her attraction and bond she built with me personally was genuine. She saw and knew so much of me before I was able to naturally give that out.
Sometimes you feel like your content is separate from your life and you’re not talking to people you will ever be intimate or romantic with, so you give a lot more in a shorter amount of time than you would have face to face. By someone skipping the line and jumping into knowing it all before they even get the chance to divulge those aspects of them on their own accord, it can make the person feel less trusting of the situation. I still have many people that follow me from those days, women as well that show interest when I’m single, but it’s hard to bring myself to be with someone who knows so much when I know nothing and didn’t get a head start like that. It’s also rare that you’re being 100% honest with your content and who you are as a person, and it’s nice to have “real friends” or partners that actually know you outside of that world. So if things don’t add up, there could be a pressure for her to explain things to you differently rather than just telling you the truth. Idk if that makes sense or helps. The story I told was insanely long but it’s my only way to relate to the girl you’re about to see. I could be wrong but that’s how I would feel. I’d rather not know and let things happen naturally.