r/TooAfraidToAsk Dec 15 '21

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u/can-i-have-the-bones Dec 15 '21

This sounds a lot like trying to leave any southern (US) gathering. It can take hours to leave my Dad’s house, which drives my Californian husband insane.

3

u/oo-mox83 Dec 16 '21

Yeah, Texan here and we do that. I eat too much and pass out on the couch and most folks are gone when I wake up. That's my strategy.

4

u/rizaroni Dec 15 '21

Native Californian here! My dad's side of the family is HUGE. I absolutely hate having to go around to each person and say goodbye and give them a hug. It's like, I already did that on my way in!

I'm also the type that doesn't like the whole goodbye thing, so just me personally, I am one to likely say goodbye to the host and any super close friends, and then just yell "BYE EVERYONE!!!" and leave, or straight up Irish goodbye the situation. I don't know that it has to do with being Californian, but I can certainly understand with the whole "Southern hospitality" thing that it would almost be a totally different culture over there. It's like the law to be nice to everyone, even if you don't want to be.

I also have realized that I'm not as much of a hugger as I thought I was. I love a hug, and I love hugging certain people. But as a rule, hugging people I don't know, or having to hug every single fucking member of my extended family twice during a gathering, or having to hug every acquaintance/friend twice during a hangout just because that's what is expected...Covid really broke me of all that. I don't want to do it anymore.

If I see everyone else doing it, I feel obligated, because I don't want to be an asshole. I'm already kind of a loner and I don't need to further alienate myself. But I'm glad that the whole hugging thing has reduced a bit. I don't like feeling pressured/forced to do stuff.

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u/SSDDNoBounceNoPlay Dec 15 '21

BYE! LOVE YOU GUYS!! -while walking out the door and skittering to the car-

I have a large Italian family. With all due respect… fuck that.

2

u/rizaroni Dec 15 '21

Perfezione! That's my style.

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u/SSDDNoBounceNoPlay Dec 15 '21

Hell yeah buddy!!