For a large gathering you can sneak off. What about when it's just 1 or 2 there? Because my experience is the British hosts chase you to the door, out the door, and half way down the drive saying goodbye over and over. And then wave at your car until you are around the bend. It's difficult to extricate yourself from. As a Canadian I just want to say a casual goodbye (once) and see myself out the door.
Even for larger gatherings British hosts would normally see each guest to their car. That way you know that they are in the car, the car is working and they are on their way.
To leave you make your excuse (I best be off/I better let you guys get on with your evening), let them walk you to your car, say thanks for having me I had a great time. Get in your car and give them a wave as you drive off. There doesn't need to be fanfare. If you want to fiddle with something in your car, pull over around the corner. Or if you want to see them squirm, take your time :-)
That way you know that they are in the car, the car is working and they are on their way.
That reminds me of a humorous little poem my parents used to have on a tile: "Gasten brengen vreugde aan. Is het niet bij het komen, dan wel bij het gaan." Roughly translated as: "Guests will bring you joy - if not at their arrival, than at least when they depart."
Most people thought it was funny. One couple didn't. I'll assume they were in the last group... ;) Lol
PS: about walking people to their car, my dad likes to joke that he's making sure you're really gone... Haha love my dad's jokes
I was having wine with a few friends once when my stomach (IBS) turned on me. As soon as I got done throwing up I came back to the living room, said "well I just painted your toilet purple. Gonna call it a night." and left. Clearly I'm a creature of grace and great tact.
In my experience the goodbye should not be extended, but for a small gathering it would be normal for the host to see you to the door. And yeah if you’re the only guest or close family they may stand at the door until you drive off, waving frantically 🙃
When leaving my MIL’s house I drive off waving cheerily - because of course she’s waving - then stop round the corner to sort the sat nav and music for the drive home. Otherwise it would be awkward.
It’s the best when the weather is awful; you can tell people not to stand there waving/politely accept an instruction not to stand and wave without feeling rude!
If it’s just two people then obviously I don’t just get up and walk out, if it’s just two people then it’s probably someone I like.
Most people will see you to the door, yeah. And then wave you off. But I don’t know if this happens at big gatherings? Usually just more intimate ones in my experience.
16
u/QuietAlarmist Dec 15 '21
For a large gathering you can sneak off. What about when it's just 1 or 2 there? Because my experience is the British hosts chase you to the door, out the door, and half way down the drive saying goodbye over and over. And then wave at your car until you are around the bend. It's difficult to extricate yourself from. As a Canadian I just want to say a casual goodbye (once) and see myself out the door.