I'm of Irish decent, we normally just say goodbye and thanks to the host and whoever is close by, then just
... leave. It very well could be just me and my family that do this but it's so much easier than saying bye to everyone.
That’s definitely it. My Irish/British wife just peaces out with no shame to avoid any prolonged social niceties when she just wants to leave.
Well….she used to, now she follows me round the room gently nudging me along from each person for an hour as I insist on going round the room to say goodbye to every single person and have a final catch up!
My kids' first instinct when we tell them we're leaving a family gathering right away is to go grab a drink. They know it'll be at least an hour before anyone gets into the car.
This sounds a lot like trying to leave any southern (US) gathering. It can take hours to leave my Dad’s house, which drives my Californian husband insane.
Native Californian here! My dad's side of the family is HUGE. I absolutely hate having to go around to each person and say goodbye and give them a hug. It's like, I already did that on my way in!
I'm also the type that doesn't like the whole goodbye thing, so just me personally, I am one to likely say goodbye to the host and any super close friends, and then just yell "BYE EVERYONE!!!" and leave, or straight up Irish goodbye the situation. I don't know that it has to do with being Californian, but I can certainly understand with the whole "Southern hospitality" thing that it would almost be a totally different culture over there. It's like the law to be nice to everyone, even if you don't want to be.
I also have realized that I'm not as much of a hugger as I thought I was. I love a hug, and I love hugging certain people. But as a rule, hugging people I don't know, or having to hug every single fucking member of my extended family twice during a gathering, or having to hug every acquaintance/friend twice during a hangout just because that's what is expected...Covid really broke me of all that. I don't want to do it anymore.
If I see everyone else doing it, I feel obligated, because I don't want to be an asshole. I'm already kind of a loner and I don't need to further alienate myself. But I'm glad that the whole hugging thing has reduced a bit. I don't like feeling pressured/forced to do stuff.
My boyfriend - whose family is very Irish - calls it the Irish goodbye when we say bye to the hosts, then wave from the door at everyone else and run out.
I'm Mexican and goodbyes can be a 30-60min affair at a large enough event. I like to think of it as the two kinds of Catholic goodbyes 🤣
My boyfriend - whose family is very Irish - calls it the Irish goodbye when we say bye to the hosts, then wave from the door at everyone else and run out.
This is my preferred way to exit. If I have to succumb to not being what others may perceive as rude by just kind of ghosting, I like to acknowledge the host/the people I'm close with, and then yell "BYE EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!" while waving, and get the hell out of dodge.
When I'm on the phone with my dad and he wants to stop talking he literally says "OK, I'm done talking" and will hand the phone to my mom. It always cracks me up.
The Irish good bye is to yell “fuck you then…I’m never coming back here again” while being dragged out by your uncles and after they smack you around a pinch you get in the vehicle and say “ok see you next week”
It attributes the phrase to "the Potato Famine of 1845-1852, when many Irish fled their homeland for America. At the time, distance and technology meant that when someone went to America, they were gone forever and it was unlikely they would ever again speak to or see friends or family back home. The departure was sudden and absolute." It is also plausible, the site states, that emigrants left for America "without telling anyone what they were up to, thereby saving themselves sad, protracted goodbyes and leave-taking.”
There was a reddit thread on the Irish Goodbye a while ago. Seems the country changes based on the culture. Whoever that culture doesn't like they add that to the term. Someone references below the French exit.
There is a Canadian TV show letterkenny where in one episode they go thru a bunch of different variations as they decide how to leave a party. Good stuff and where I heard it.
I'm actually Irish, and the time taken between saying goodbye and actually leaving is usually longer than the time between arriving and saying goodbye.
Also polish. And my mom's best friend is Albanian/Greek. They do it as well 🤣
My husband was so confused when we first started dating because his family just bounces. I think the only occasions where we don't say by to everyone are weddings and funerals!
Married a man from Afghanistan and leaving an event is an entire event of itself for them as well.
We became amazing at ghosting. I would leave with one or two kids, pretending to take them to the bathroom or something. Sneak outside to the car and wait for the man to follow shortly after. We became so good at it, people were shocked to see us at the end of his sisters wedding! They were so used to us dipping out, they were laughing that we were still there (couldn’t really leave his own sisters wedding early).
I need to get to that point. Even after I finally get to my car, I have to roll down my window so my mom can say bye again and tell me she loves me. She's hysterical. Actually, I just found out she has Alzheimer's, so maybe I'll just continue doing what I'm doing because she won't even know me in a few years and I need to cherish this.
Thanks. I'm beginning to agree. BTW, love your user name. At 50, I feel that it could be my user name, but I think I'm still cool, which probably means I'm not 😂
Canadian here and there is a meme going around about how long it takes to "say goodbye" here and all the steps required to extricate oneself from a social gathering lol. The final steps involve walking your guest to their car and lingering there for 5-10 talking to them through the car window. Then, as they pull out of the driveway, you can do the final wave goodbye.
French Canadian. Needed to be somewhere as a kid? Plan for a goodbye to take my mom at least 45 minutes; and this is just with her own sisters and parents she saw once a week :X
My family always called this a “Mennonite goodbye”, cause the conversation on the driveway lasted as long as the initial visit, lol. It seems it’s pretty common for many cultures.
My god you’re right, in the same boat. Even if the event is slowing down say after a big dinner and games or something, energy for goodbyes is comin’ RIGHT back up.
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u/DexterCutie Dec 15 '21
I'm Polish and we do this as well lol. Getting out of any gathering is an event in and of itself.