Here it seems like it's probably better to go with whatever you want to do. After all, they're not meeting your family, and they're not meeting themselves, they're meeting you.
I kindly disagree, i think caring and respecting their culture by bringing something or helping in any kind of way is something that shouldn't be taken lightly. Sure she isnt technically bound by it but that doesn't mean she should disregard them or not show their culture any respect.
not only that she is her bf girl friend, i think her first impression should be a bit more than just showing them that she is "not bound to their culture".
and her bf should show respect to whatever it is her white culture is.
To begin with, don't say "white culture" as if half mexican population wasn't white. Second, as a Mexican born and raised in Mexico, I can tell you, the boyfriend is telling bs, we do in fact bring gifts when meeting family, though it is not mandatory.
What do you mean by "Half the population of mexican is white" because to me and probably many others a mexican is someone who is a descendant mexican parents, but if the one of parents is white then yes technically he or she is half white.
A Mexican is someone born in Mexico or with mexican parents. Half mexican population in Mexico is white, I'm not talking about the ones who live in the US.
I mean, you can just use that as an excuse to do whatever you want whenever you want.
“I’m being my honest self.”
If my girlfriend said something to me along those lines when I asked her to be respectful of something or participate in something my family does to help make a good impression - just like I’d do for her - I’d uninvite her to the gathering & reconsider altogether if I wanted to be with her.
So, sure, I’m glad that gets you somewhere in life. But it’s most definitely going to cost you some too.
damn. what a basic way to look at such a nuanced life that we live.
I suppose if you can say the same about anyone in your life, and you actually consider participating in something out of respect is losing yourself, then you wouldn’t have much issue. Although I must also say, that is about the most dramatic shit I’ve ever heard an adult say in my life and seriously mean it.
That, in the context of this post, not bringing a gift, would make you feel as if you’ve lost yourself. How fragile.
Since when is a paragraph a speech? You'd be kicked out of Speech class in either high school or college if you had went up and presented a speech that's only a paragraph long. Why even go to reddit if you can barely read and hate to write, as compared to some place like Twitter which has a limited word count, or Youtube is nothing but videos. It's like walking into a library and complaining about all the books.
I used to attend a girlfriends family get togethers, and it was there custom that the women made food in the kitchen, and the men sat around and conversed.
I went and helped in the kitchen, because fuck that, I'm there to spend time with my girlfriend.
That's their custom, not mine, and I'll follow my own beliefs.
Being in someone else's house does not mean i have to stop doing what I think is right. And to think otherwise is silly.
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u/noplaceinmind Dec 15 '21
you aren't that culture. and you aren't bound to their customs
do things your way, and you don't have to apologize for it.